What you see is what you didn't know you had
From almost infancy we see our naked bodies in general and our genitals in particular. We take them for granted, often seeing the small flaws that obsess us rather than the beautiful curves, angles, and features that others see.
Think about it -- when you meet someone new do you scrutiize the pores in his or her nose, or the flesh on their upper arm, or the slight difference in shape of one eye, hand, breast, testicle, labia, knee, foot, or toenail? I didn't think so. What makes you think your partners scrutinize yours?
There's something else we often don't look at and that's our aroused selves. I mean we often *see* them, but just as often we're so aroused either with another partner or on our own, that we don't really *look.* And if we look, we're not always in the best state of mind to remember.
If you've ever thought of photographing yourself (a practice I endorse as you no doubt know) I'd like to recommend taking the time to photograph yourself through the process of arousal and climax.
I've discovered my penis does things I hadn't noticed in 50 years. Other people who've tried it have found their labia, clitorises, and the whole general vicinity grow from their normal practical state (the one we usually see when you do the mirror/cervix thing from Our Bodies Ourselves and other intelligent health and sexuality books) into something blossoming, inviting, and *powerful.*
Next time you've hopped out of the shower (for instance) and you've got your camera handy, and you're not already feeling very aroused, sit or lie back on your bed, grab the camera with one hand, and arouse the dickens out of yourself with the other. Take pictures as you go. When you're done, and calmed down, stop and review them and see what a marvel of human sexuality you are.
You don't have to share the photos, certainly don't have to post them to Flickr, or your blog, or elsewhere. It can be just for you. I think you'll be startled at first since you're probably not familiar with yourself, but give yourself a little time and you'll start to grow on yourself -- you'll see what your partners see and almost certainly love. (I'd love to see your photos if you want to share them with someone. As you know I won't post them -- can't even *legally* post without a release from you -- but that's so up to you I shouldn't even mention it.)
Update In comments, Magdelena of Myths and Metawhores - Embodied Spirituality restated my post so nicely I'm reposting it here.
Such a sensual suggestion, one that guides us deeper into a wonderful aesthetic-kinaesthetic blend. It's so true, we often look with critical eyes. Worse yet, I know that I've looked closest when something has been wrong and that adds the distortion of fear to all I see. How wise to suggest we document the physical alchemy arousel creates. One of the most effective and profound methods healers suggest is to see yourself through the eyes of love. To see and perceive yourself through the lens of someone you know loves you. Many people gently breakdown at this point, releasing so much self-critical baggage.
Her point that we mostly look closely at ourselves when something is wrong, or when we fear something is wrong, is a wonderful insight.
[Note: I tried uploading a set of some of my very earliest photos, some that I took first thing one morning and caught the growth of my morning erection. At first I thought it was pretty ugly, but over time -- and with feedback from some of you, thanks -- I realized I was just unfamiliar with myself. Anyway, my Flickr upload utility isn't cooperating so there's only a few from towards the end of the set. (You can see them here.) I'll upload the rest as soon as I can, and post a lead-in photo here. Sorry about the technical problems. --fl]
