Night erections and the little (wooden) man in the boat
So a while ago someone I admire a great deal said "Sometimes I think I'm more like a man since I nearly always wake up with the female equivalent of 'morning wood."
Now it's a little-known fact but most men have erections on and off all night. Many spend most of the night erect. Salacious as this sounds (ok, salacious as it *is* if you're in a position to take advantage of it) the reason this happens, I've been led to believe, is to insure adequate oxygen supply to the erectile tissues, which evidently don't get enough when you're detumescent.
I'm not entirely sure that's true (though I've been wondering about looking for a kinky urologist and/or ob/gyn to talk about physiology and other things with.) The reason I'm not sure is because, again as I understand it, erections happen because a muscle at the base constricts the major blood vessles leading out, leading to inflation and thus erection. Well, that would imply there's always blood moving through and so I would expect there's also adequate oxygenation. But I digress.
As you know I've found over the years, and especially in the year I've been blogging, that men and women really aren't that different. Yes, there are certainly some differences but there's far, far more overlap than stereotypes, tradition, and countless pop-psychology/self-help books would have us believe.
The real differences are in what we're willing to admit to each other. And ourselves. Typically if we believe "only" women do X, but we do it too, we assume we're the only exception. Same with women who experience things "only" men do. It seems to be a pretty fragle thing, by the way. So far I really haven't found any Mars/Venus boundaries that don't give way with even a gentle push. They might look like brick walls but I think a lot of them are just spray-on decals.
That leads me to wonder whether my friend's contention that she feels "more like a man" for having morning erections is true. And the best way to find out is to ask.
Do you notice your clitoris is erect when you wake up either in the morning or the middle of the night? Keep in mind you might not be horny just because it's hard. And if so then, unlike men who can have a heck of a time peeing with erections, it might not be that noticable.
But then you could be like my friend who also said the difference is she almost always takes advantage of it.
Thanks in advance for continuing my education.
Yes. :)
[Great. :-) Thanks, DN. --fl]
A) Yes. I wake up horny most days. First thing I reach for is my vibrator (as I am currently single).
B) In Massage Therapy training we were taught that an erection is the total relaxation of a man's muscles. Total relaxation releases the penis to go to an erect position. This has some truth to it, as the blood flow increases in all muscles when they are completely relaxed. But part of me thinks they told us this to prepare us for the men who would get erections while on our tables.
And so I think that men have to think about keeping their penis down all the time, so when relaxed, it can do whatever it wants to, up or down.
But I'm not a man, so I have no idea what really goes on between his legs. Mine? I roll over and grab the vibrator.
[Most of this sound about right, Bella, except the "think about keeping down" part. While thinking sexy thoughts may spring an erection, there's not much I was ever able to think about to keep them from happening or (desperate visions of Great-aunt Bertrelda in her ratty granny panties notwithstanding) make them go away. Oddly enough, as you may also have learned in massage school, the therapist can often say something totally bland and professional like "I see you've developed an erection" and it'll go away whereas if you both try to pretend it isn't there the stupid thing will persist for the rest of the session, much to everyone's embarrassment. Thanks! --fl]
I find that i often wake up with "wood", actually, but as you so correctly pointed out, it's not always a 'feeling horny, must get laid now' situation.
Not that my bed partner would object.
I find that sometimes i dream of sex, and then i wake up and have to grab him immediately.
Again, this has rarely been met with objections. ;-)
But what an interesting subject. I never thought of it from the physiologial aspect before, only from what was going on in my head. For me anyway, that's where sex starts -- in my head. Ask the Muse. He knows.
[Yeah, it's not that it doesn't feel good (not at all) or that it can't be turned into horniness with a little easy encouragement. Unlike real horniness, though, in men anyway, morning erections usually go away as soon as we pee. (Afterwards they can be brought back as real erections the traditional way.) Thanks, Minx. --fl]
I get more of the 'throb'. The 'tingle'. The 'wet'. I must admit, I need to isolate the feeling of a hard clitoris, see exactly what that's like when not paired with the others. THAT will be exciting, indeed....
[I always admire curiosity and exploration, Mona. Report back if you're willing. I'm curious too. Thanks. --fl]
I wake up horny every day. Not sure if there is the traditional wood, as I generally have to hop right to taking care of small people. But the feeling is there.
Thanks for the question and the thought and the yummy image of you waking up in this state.
I'm finding the comments hard to read because the margins are so close to the borders and because there is so little space between comments. Is this just me? I use Firefox...
Thanks as usual for continuing my education as well.
[The borders are bogus because the template is screwy. I'll try to fix it today after work. Meanwhile... you don't know how much it pleases me that you like the idea of me sleeping or waking up erect. An awful lot of probably-now-obsolete conditioning still makes me think of it as an inconvenience to others. So thanks, Aag! --fl]
Seems like you and I are always having the same ideas when we blog. ;) I just wrote about an experience I had in my post called The Dream...
[Great minds think alike? :-) Thanks, Pandora. --fl]
I got something similar to Bella in explination. And after a check in with my doctor - much to his embaressment - I got a confirmation.
The natural Relaxed state of the penis is at least semi-erect. It can go from mostly flacid to completely erect during that stage. That's part of why little boys, at least, struggle with random erections. The body's working out control over the organ and it's reaction to emotion and arousal. It's one of those things that the body sort of learns on it's own with occasional guidance from the thinking part of the brain.
I have woken up aroused maybe six times I can remember. I'm a late afternoon/night person. I actually warn partners that weekend sex is extremely unlikely because I'm almost never in the mood before lunch time. (Some men have been glorious exceptions.)
That said, I've recently started having sex dreams where I wake at the point of orgasm. I'm kind of liking that.
[Ooh, ooh! I've got to ask about "nocturnal emissions" some time. Long ago conventional wisdom had it that only men had them. I don't think I ever have though I've had a couple of near-orgasmic dreams. On the other hand a number of women have said that, like you, they'll have sex dreams that are orgasmic or near-orgasmic. More overlap, eh? Thanks, Autumn. Also, good for you for asking your doctor! If more people did (and I'm sure everyone has questions they're too shy to ask) it wouldn't embarrass them so much. --fl]
Personally, I am happy to be poked awake by a body part that seems to be frolicking while the brain sleeps. I have on occasion taken advantage of such situations and suceeded in waking partners up as they climax. Once I actually had the same done to me as I integrated the act into my dream. Although I'm not so much about the analysis of such physioligical actions it's lovely to read your musings.....
*smooch*
Sunday
[Not everyone's happy to be poked awake but it's always lovely to where about someone who is. Thanks, Sunday. --fl]
Hmmm I've woke up many times wet and in a state of arousal or whatnot. Not totally having to get laid just...either or. I've never noticed my clitoris being erect. However, I have also had sex dreams that are basically orgasmic or I wake up right before it. *sigh* If I had a bed partner that woke up afflicted the same way...Life would be grand. ;-)
What a great post FL.
[Thanks, Blondie. Let's hope you find exactly that kind of partner. Soon! --fl]
I rarely wake up aroused. I guess I am just not a morning person. The times that I have, it was due to an exceptionally erotic dream. Unfortunately my partner is ONLY interested in morning sex, if he is interested in it at all....
[Thanks, LM. (Can you compromise on "nooners?") --fl]
I guess I must have a very small clit because I rarely (if ever) notice it's hard (unless I'm actually playing with it or looking right at it). However, I do notice when my whole vulva swells up because I'm excited ^_^
[I guess technically you may have a very small *external* clitoris, since I understand the parts behind the pubic bone are pretty large, but point taken. Sometimes they're pretty hard to find even when you know where to look. Also (duh!) all the old descriptions (Masters and Johnson, for instance) say that as you approach orgasm your clitoris "disappears," implying that it loses its erection. I've never noticed this while playing with my partners but... You mention that your vulva swells up when you're aroused, and I've mentioned how (maybe unexpectedly) cool that engorgement looks. I think that might be a more accurate description of how it's supposed to "disappear." It's still there but harder (for novices, and maybe 60's-era researchers) to find with everything else that happens at the same time. Thanks, Shay! --fl]
While I was happy to wake erect this morning I am even happier to have a new word of the day. Trying to find all the ways I can use "detumescent" at work.
[Always happy to oblige. Thanks, Dmast. --fl]