Snacks and conversation after

I have commented here in ages, but I thought I would answer your question.

And the answer is: Of course I would. It would be lovely to have a face to go with the words and photos. :)

-LD

[Cool, LD! Thanks! Hey, I've missed your blog. Let me know if you decide to get back into it. --fl]

I can scarcly believe that you would think there is a single person that would say no. To say no to the chance to introduce oneself and maybe see a small smile of recognition, the chance of a congratulatory hug perhaps, heck the chance to ogle you in person. I feel quite certain that everyone on here would turn out in droves. And I would definitely come down accross the border for the home town tour :)
So... does this mean there is a book in the works?

[Thanks, KT. I just decided last night that I've been a giant squaking chicken about the word "book" and figured it was time I got over it. So yeah, you could say a book has been in the works for, oh, about eleven and a half hours. If I go for it I think it might be a good one, but I won't know unless I try. --fl]

I would be the first in line and I would wear my dominatrix outfit underneath my clothes and tease you with a quick reveal.

You'll have to sign my book of course, and my breast. I'll bring a Sharpie.

[I'll be happy to sign anything you're willing to pull out in the Borders lobby, Mona. :-) Thanks for your kind (and stirring) words. --fl]

Are you kidding? I absolutely would! Yes, yes, and emphatically YES!

[Wow. Thanks, SD! --fl]

Well, of course, you silly man. I would definately buy your book, as well.

Love the picture too; you have sexy shoulders!

[Thanks, Kitty! (You guys are unbelievably kind -- I'm blushing furiously.) --fl]

You know I'd be at the Borders in Downtown Crossing if you were signing your books:)

[I'd be flattered as Hell, Camo. Thanks! --fl]

if you were comin to my town, bringin your book, hell yeah i would be in line...

and your nips...just beg to be bitten...

just sayin...

peace...

[Thanks, Monkey! --fl]

Yes, I'd come, especially if you were doing a reading as well as a signing.

I'm pro-real-adult-sex, and I like the honest, human-positive perspective I've seen here the few times I've visited. (And there's an unfortunate lack of human-positive discussions/depictions of sex in our world. And esp. refreshing to see from a straight male point of view.)

[Thank you, E! One of my chapters subtitles is going to be something like "Who needs narrow if you know you're straight?" (Think about all the men out there who are afraid to touch their wives purses. Their *wives* purses, mind you! People have enough important things to worry about so why worry about dumb stuff like that?) --fl]

yes, of course I would buy a book that you have written. And if you were out and about premoting it... then i would deffinately be there. Not to just see your face, but to actually meet the person behind the words...

but then again i am so incredibly shy, I would probably just stand and admire you at a distance.

[I know that feeling, Needra! And while I'd understand completely but I'd hate to think I missed you. You know I'd be totally happy to see you, even though I embarrass you by making a big fuss. --fl]

Ok silly, how many yes's do you need before you are convinced?!

Just count me in for another one if you're tallying :) ...

[I ought to know it was silly but I didn't think so many people would say yes. It's that HNT thing all over again -- I spend all this time assuming this or that about myself and... Bother! Mark Twain said "A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time." Same for this, I guess. Thanks, Katy. --fl]

Figleaf:

If you weren't writing a book, or not even considering the idea, I would think that you were in dire need of medication.

I have visited many sites during my journey in cyberspace. Your blog and Magdelena's are the two that I visit everyday. Why?

1. Fine writing
My husband, who recently read your post, Waking up from a nap, said "This guy's an excellent writer." My husband is not a blog reader. The Wall Street Journal and other periodicals are his daily fare. So to capture his attention as an essayist, you have to be better than good.

Don't worry about the spelling. Albert Einstein was a lousy speller. Besides, it will make your editor feel needed.

2. Rational Discourse
You have the ability to present provocative topics logically, but not in a dull, leaden manner. Yeah, the emotion is there, but there is no bluster, or righteous indignation. If there was, this reader wouldn't be here.

3. Genuine interest in opinions of others
I don't get the impression that you write to pontificate. When you ask your readers a question, you want to read what they have to say. I also think that your purpose in writing is to obtain a better understanding of something or someone that perplexes you. Writing is your way of analyzing an issue, which is also my way. I may be projecting my own idealized self image on you, but there are probably worse things that can be attributed to you.

4. Photos
I am very fond of your photos -- you are right, there are few sites that have pictures of men for female enjoyment. And reading articulate essays on sex from a male point of view is also a treat. So yes, I would like to see the face that goes with the fine mind, and I would look forward to hearing you read from your book at a bookstore.

Kochanie

[Wow, thanks for taking the time to put that in words, Kochanie. I'm afraid I actually do try to pontificate (I come from a long line of ministers and old-time lecturers) but if I'm going to do it at all I want to do it *with* you instead of just *at* you or even (patronizingly) *for* you. And you're right, I really do want to know what you think. Otherwise I'd know even less than I thought I did. :-) Thanks again, I really appreciate it. --fl]

Hi Fig,
Come to the UK.....I'll promote you, and if you havn't done a Nia class by then, I would be honoured to have you as a guest in my class.

BEStorm

[Thanks, Storm. Even in February England would be fun. I'd love to go to Scotland too. I could see where my grandfather grew up and maybe get a real kilt to boot. :-) And I'd be delighted to take a Nia class. Thanks again. --fl]

Yes.

Of course, silly man.

Would you publish under Figleaf or your "real" name?

[Hard to say. Until someone suggested a better title I'd probably call it "Real Adult Sex" or "Figleaf's Real Adult Sex." Whether or not I used my pen name in the book, I'd certainly use it in person. Pen names, even anonymous ones, are for words, not people. Thanks, AAG. --fl]

Well you’ve stirred shy little old me into a comment again!
Sorry, but you’re not going to be able to breathe that sigh of relief. Instead you can beam from that intriguing neck up, knowing that there will be a queue a mile long wherever you’re doing your signing. Er..... you will be making it to the UK, won’t you?
x

[It's ok to feel shy, Freebird, but I'm always glad to hear from you. If I can talk my way into it I'd love to go to the UK. Thanks for your kind words. --fl]

oh, in a flash fl!
..you thinking of doing a world tour? ;)
I'm pretty shy, but I'd be delighted.

[Knowing everything I know about the publishing industry... ok, all I know for sure is they print books, so that's off. So all I'm saying is *if* I did a book tour, and I wound up in your part of the world, I hope you'd come out and say hello. --fl]

I would love to read more from you and would definitely come to see you on a book tour.

How wild it would be to stand in a line and wonder if any of the other people were bloggers that I have read. What a wildly different perspective for us all to see each other from the outside like we appear more in the world rather than from what we project from inside our heads. (if that makes any sense...)

[Makes total sense, LushlyMe. And you're right that not everyone wants to out themselves even to other bloggers. Maybe we should all have a secret handshake. :-) Thanks. --fl]

Since I am shy about my writing, as well, almost pathologically so, I can understand the "no one would want to read a book by me" syndrome. However, I must say that if your book is as interesting as this blog, I can't imagine it not being a success. So ... my 2 cents' goes something like this: PLEASE write your book!! I can guarantee that I will buy several copies: one for me, and others for gifts. And MY gift would be standing in the line at the bookstore to put a face with the rest of your loveliness (but that would be only the icing on the cake.) Do you realize that if any of us ran into you in public somewhere, that likely we would recognize you even without knowing your facial features?
Write, figleaf, write!!!!!

[Thanks, Rhia. By the way, I know you've got a blog out there. In fact I think I've run across it and forgot to bookmark it. Don't be *that* shy! And by the way, saying you'd consider giving copies as gifts has startled the dickens out of me. It's not that I didn't think you meant it, but that means you *meant* it! Wow. Thanks again. --fl]

I'd certainly by any book of yours, Fig, and if you made it out to New Zealand on your world book tour I'd most definitely come and get it signed! It would be a pleasure to meet the man behind so many marvellous words (and photos).

xx Dee

[Thanks, Dee! I have some huge old photos my great-uncle took in New Zealand nearly a century ago. They really captured my imagination as a child so I'd love to go. It would be great to meet you too. --fl]

Wonderful picture ... and it isn't even Thursday yet!!!! Thank you!!!

[Good point, Rhia. I'll have to check ahead and see if I'm still dressed by Thursday. Thanks. --fl]

I would buy several copies and yes I'll bring a sharpie too. You are simply one of the best writers on the internet, sex topic or no. Get some words on paper, doll baby. xoxoxo we love you.

[Yikes! I'm not getting used to this you know. I keep blushing thinking about it. Thanks so much, Blue Gal. --fl]

I'd buy the book even if I didn't get to see you and have it autographed... but I'd be there in a hearbeat if you were out signing!

[Thanks, Snow! I so appreciate it. --fl]

ha! You comment whore.

I'd come by 'cos it'd be your book, etc, but y'know, I like my men substantial with nice grippy lovehandles and such, as nice as the photo is and all. But we can be spiffy pals, at the very least. ;)

[Oh yeah, I'm not proposing having sex with everyone I met (no matter how stirring and/or tempting the idea might be.) Being pals -- *staying* pals -- is plenty. --fl]

Oh yes, I would be there, early in the line. I'd step up, look you in the eye, and introduce myself, with a smile. It would be so interesting.

[I'd look forward to it, Rosie. Thanks! --fl]

Fig, I'd be at the signing (even though I hate them in this town...don't know how they are in TN), I'd buy copies for my friends, and I'd say 'Hey! Let's go to this great little restaurant and nosh!'

So the answer, short form, is yes. :)

[It would be a hoot, DN. Thanks. --fl]

I would definitely show my support for your book out in the real world . I've learned so much here, and felt a lot of "aha! that's it exactly!" moments. I have more in common with other people than I ever imagined.
Fear and ignorance are the enemies of good sex. Since you've got the goods (see above comments), why not share your reality with a wider audience? I'd be scared, too, but look at what you've accomplished so far.
If you really want to do it, I think it would be a great read/visual treat and an important addition to our evolving understanding of each other as we really are.

["I have more in common with other people than I ever imagined" is the most important sentence that's ever been written in this blog, Tina. It's true, you are -- we almost all are! Definitely not *everything* in common but way more than we lead ourselves to believe. I try to say it over and over, to get that point across. but I've never managed to put it so succinctly. Thanks! --fl]

As all others - of course I'd be there on line to see you, and grab a book on my way as well!

[Thanks, Joey. It would mean a lot to me. --fl]

Well, I'd definitely buy the book! And I would definitely want to come to a reading. But I wonder if I would be too intimidated to actually walk up and say hi...

Though if you told me, "But I don't know anyone in your city!," my protective instincts would kick in and I would feel morally obligated to make sure you weren't bored or lonely and had a nice time while you were here...so then I'd HAVE to introduce myself. Eek!

In any case, write the book!

Syl

[Would it make you feel any better to know I'd be just as intimidated, Syl? It doesn't mean you shouldn't say hi, or I shouldn't, but you know I was glad you came. Thanks. --fl]

Oh, definitely do it. And when (not if - I'm in wishful thinking mode) you do it, let me know so I can buy some copies for the signing. It'd be cool to read you offline in book form.

You're a thoughtful writer and a damned interesting one. You've also got an existing fanbase and a highly read platform to mention your book on. Might be worth mentioning in your book proposal, when (wishful thinking again) you do it.

[Well, it's not just wishful thinking at this point, Sabrina. You and everyone else have convinced me. I'm actually pretty confident I can write something people would be willing to read. Now I just have to figure out who I should start talking nuts and bolts with. Thanks for being so encouraging. --fl]

I would adore meeting you in person with your book clutched tight and my cheeks flushed. You have a great talent and you should take it to hardback. :)

[Thanks, Sonja! --fl]

Fig you have so many insightful and interesting posts, your work would make a fabulous book...and if you came over to Canada I'd definitely do my best to see you!! *hugs* anna:)

[Thanks, Anna! --fl]

of course i'd come by to say hi!

[Thanks, Bellacara. It would be nice to meet you. --fl]

Fig,

While I am deeply appreciative of some of the wonderful writing in the blogosphere, I often wonder why you guys post such great writing to a public forum risking having your ideas and work stolen.

The possibility of a future book is the reason I don't post more of my musings and keep things at my blog basically "generic".

Oh, and to directly answer your question...

I'd love to see you from the neck up. :)

Rey

[Thanks, Rey. I have two answers to your question. First, there's a general tendency in blogging not to worry about other people nicking your ideas. In fact most of us would be thrilled. In that regard you can think of blogging as the *opposite* of those commuters you see yelling at their radios in their empty cars. :-) In other words the point of blogging is to express your ideas where anyone can find them, preferably with attribution and idea exchange but better plagarism than no interest at all. The other reason is that while someone can take one or more of my ideas, and maybe even say them better than I could, nobody else can say them the same way I can. To the extent I have any personality or style I can hope that people would want to hear me say it. Hmm. A third reason might be that if other people were running with my ideas that would suggest that a) my ideas have traction and b) they're creating buzz that I can "me-too" into. And finally, while the blogosphere is vast it's also pretty well formed. It's remarkably easy to track down the originator(s) of any given idea and establish precedence. Bottom line, though, is that I get new ideas every day. Not all of them good ones, mind you, but unlike the guys who talk back to talk radio you can't know if your new ideas work... unless you blog them! --fl]

I'd love to see you from the neck up and read your book. I love reading your posts and this way I could read all your wise words while not on the clock at work. :)

[Good point, Just Me. Thanks! --fl]

I would certainly come to support you, and I'd bring as many friends as I could.

What better reason could you have to come to Florida?

[I'm sure there couldn't be a better one, or a kinder invitation, Seraglio. Thanks. --fl]

If your book tour also decided to go overseas to Australia i'd be there at the Sydney signing to get your book most definately :)

[Australia it is, then, Kitten. I get so many visits from Australia it would be a shame not to. Thanks, Kitten. --fl]

I know I'm late, but I'll add my "yes" to the ring...

[Not at all late, Amber. It's going to take a while to figure out what I want to say, or more accurately how I want to say it. I'm guessing it'll be roughly along the lines of the categories in my blog: The impositions culture puts on our relationships at all stages as the main theme with an emphasis on how we participate in creating our own poor body images, how erotica and porn are not on the same conceptual continuum and how porn and advertising are, how adult sex is a lot more like eating together than going to church or Disneyland or graduation day, erotic histories and fantasies... and perhaps unphotoshopped photos I take myself if I get to use glossy paper stock. Thanks for saying yes. --fl]

Hey, FL - - it's been a long time since I've commented here, although I make it a point to read your blog. I think a book like you are planning is greatly needed, and I would definitely buy a copy for myself and some friends. The icing on that particular cake would be finally meeting you at your book signing in the Tampa area! (Honestly, now - did you really think that you would get even a single "no" response?)

You are looking a bit pale there, FL, you need to come on down to the Sunshine State to start working on your tan - while you are writing your book, of course!

Hugs, my friend!

- SL

[Lemmie tell ya (as the old Norwegians around here say) February in the Pacific Northwest is no place to get a tan. To be honest yes, I knew I was going to get some yesses but I was sure there'd be a couple of nos as well. If I come back to Tampa (I used to visit a lot of people all over Florida years ago though I never lived there) I'll bring some sunblock and say hi. Thanks, SilverLady! --fl]

Figleaf, I would be there with bells on. And to show you how serious I am, I even signed with my real name today. I've commented here before under an alias, but no more. I would show my face to go see yours and get my book copy signed.

[I'm very flattered, Cindy! I literally only started thinking seriously about this 36 hours ago so I'm in the early stages. But I'm working seriously at figuring out the nuts and bolts. Thanks! --fl]

I'm late on this, but you make me think with every post, Figleaf.

So I'd definitely be there!

Learn

[I'm not saying "I want my posts to make people think," and especially not "I want my posts to make people think, dammit," but I'm really happy when they do. I really appreciate your kind thoughts. Thanks, Learn. --fl]

Is the book still in the works? I'm new to this post, so I have not caught up. Would read your book, but would not want to see you in person. It would be steping through the looking glass. (Its hard to explain) Of course, I would want to see a picture of just your face inside the cover.

[Thanks, 5o9! I am still working on the book though -- unlike posting, evidently -- it's painfully slow getting organized for it. (I happen to be on my way to a workshop today to help myself turn it into a proper project instead of a random,and growing, pile of... notes.) Wish me luck. :-) --fl]