Trying to get past "Round and Brown" and "Ghetto Hoochies" (Yikes!)
When I'm not thinking about sex I usually have my head full just thinking about gender stereotyping but a couple of people have brought up race and sex lately. Anyone who grows up in the Old South can't be colorblind, nor does anyone escape completely unscathed, but the racism and stereotyping I was exposed to was so... cartoonishly thick and deep I don't feel qualified to discuss the no less pervasive but far more nuanced racism in the world at large. I do feel qualified to say that in both gender and ethnicity the mechanisms that let us stereotype each other and ourselves blind us over and over to our far broader and deeper similarities.
Again it's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that I don't feel I have anything intelligent to *add.* Not that others haven't said better than I can say. For instance...
First, Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon brings up the issue of a self-described "white 37 year old white man" who wanted to know how to go about finding a Hindu bride in India. Amanda points out, reasonably enough, that it's kind of weird to say you want to marry one of the several hundred-million eligible Indians but you don't really care which one. She says
To my mind, seeking someone out because you have built up in your head that members of his or her race have specific qualities, and especially if you do this to "punish" members of your own race, is a racist act and those of us opposed to racism shouldn’t be bullied into pretending it’s not by squads of people who disingenously want to equate every sexual preference with another. Interracial dating and marriage is great; I think it’s a huge step towards racial harmony. That’s why it sucks that some people have to fuck shit up by getting their rocks off on racist stereotyping.
And yes, this guy is totally doing that -- if the "Hindu bride" phrasing isn’t a big enough tip-off, the long list of requirements that this imaginary bride must possess in order to be worthy of his imperial white presence in her life should seal the deal.
And Hiromi wrote this week about some of the ramifications of "growing up growing up as the only Asian in my area (except for the occasional FOB) contributed to doubts about my appearance."
Every so often, both on the old blog and this one, someone will ask me why I post nekked photos of myself for public consumption. To which I glibly answer, "I'm an exhibitionist." The obvious follow-up question: Why are you an exhibitionist? It's really quite simple: I only very recently realized that I'm not ugly, and am celebrating said knowledge. This is not an attempt to fish for compliments, so please, no well-intentioned comments assuring me of the contrary. Obvious follow-up #2: Why did I think I was ugly?
Well, there's my tendency to be highly self-critical, which has been exacerbated by the typical shits that all women must deal with, namely unattainable beauty standards. But I'm not interested in discussing this, I'm more interested in the third factor: racism. Yeah, I said it. I know I'm risking angry emails and comments, but fuck it, I wanna talk about it.
Her post is titled "A difficult topic" and you can read it here.
And finally I wanted to mention Laughing Man of Ethnorotica who earlier this week asked
A few days ago the lovely and talented Audacia sent me a couple of ethnorotica-related links. And that got me thinking (dangerous, I know) -- where the fuck are all the non-white sex bloggers, at least when it comes to blogs in the English language? I thought, for certain, that a review of Naked Loft Party’s blogroll would turn up at least a few. But no. It’s a sea of lily-white, with maybe a couple exceptions. A cursory review of the blogrolls at the top sex blogs out there revealed more of the same.
The obvious question is why? I know plenty of non-white writers, plenty of non-white kinksters, plenty of non-white people who keep diaries, so why aren’t they, y’know, representing? Are white people, due to whatever sense of privilege they share, more likely to expose themselves in this way? I’m not posing this question merely to be inflammatory; I genuinely want to know.
The general blogosphere’s diversity problem is much discussed of course (it both amuses and terrifies me that Gawker has a special correspondent for brown-people issues), but I dare say the sexblogosphere’s diversity problem is even more pronounced. Okay, so we had the short-lived blogging career of the loathsome and mannish Jessica Cutler, but you know what they say about exceptions that prove the rule. The funny thing is the sex-positive types I know are generally a progressive bunch, so I ask again, what’s the fucking deal here?
His post is titled "Sex blogs and diversity" and you can read it here.
I really don't know much about Laughing Man, and his blog is pretty new. I do appreciate his combination of social commentary and purient interest though. Responding to his question I sent him links to some of the active bloggers I read regularly who have chosen to disclose their ethnicity and he sort of surpised me by posting them here. (Apologies for anyone I've slighted either by commission or omission, and apologies especially for failing to let people know I was emailing their links.)
As I said Ethorotica is a fairly new blog but he's already brought up a good point about, for instance, rope guys who pretend they're otaku masters instead of just guys who are good with ropes, the startling-only-to-researchers number of porn sites that come up when you Google the keywords "interracial relationships"
Most recently he's tackled the issue of sites with titles like "Ghetto Hoochies" and "Phat Booty Hoes" that feature mainly African American women.
Meanwhile I’m stuck choosing between "Ghetto Hoochies" and "Phat Booty Hoes." No, I’m not even kidding. When I read that shit I wanna grab the neck of the (prolly white) dude who wrote it, give him my best Samuel L. Jackson stare-down and yell: "English, motherfucker! English! Do you speak it?"
At least so far he hasn't posted any photos of himself, half-nekkid or otherwise, but you will fnd photos of very attractive women. Laughing Man focuses on a different set of issues than I do but he's my kind of blogger. As I mentioned his blog is still pretty new so he's still finding his voice. Also his blogroll is still pretty short. It looks as if people can add themselves but I'm really looking forward to reading the people he adds himself.
