"THE most desirable age for a man is...?"
Hugo Schwyzer of, well, Hugo Schwyzer has been dwelling on age lately and has a (rhetorical) question.
In a comment below this post, Joe Smith writes:
A friend of mine, who is a serious mack daddy pickup artist, assures me that THE most desirable age for a man is 38.
Yeah, right. Does this oracle of wisdom, this mack daddy, happen to be near 38?
...
Also, folks: at what age do you think you were at your all-around most desirable? At 39, I'm the happiest I've ever been -- and if happiness is a key component of attractiveness, I'd have to say now. Though my body might be better now than ever, my features are not what they were in the mid-90s. I peaked at 29, in late 1996 or early 1997. Quite possibly the second weekend in March.
Since it's his question and not mine, head over and answer here.
Me? In my teens and twenties I was so skinny I could have stuck out my tongue and trick-or-treated as a zipper. Plus I had pretty horrible acne till my mid-20s. But I was evidently attractive enough between 19 and maybe 22 to have had a few dozen partners. In my late 20s and 30s I got into extraordinarily great shape, growing from 135 to nearly 180 pounds by running, skiiing, hiking and volcano climbing, soccer, dancing, aerobics and water aerobics, and generally cavorting around. I met my partner then and must have been attractive enough since she first went out with me, then married me... and really, how much more attractive do we really have to be? And then I turned 50 and started posting photos here and for the first time ever, really, you left real, non-grudgingly admiring remarks. But when I was 38...? Gee, I can't remember anyone looking twice at me.
But truth be told? Since everything else is either a memory and it's too late, or something that hasn't happened and we'll have to wait. So the best... and only... age to be is our age today. To paraphrase W.C. Fields, considering the alternatives we ought to make the best of what we've got.
Like I'm going to tell him: I've been a enjoying older men for many years now. I think 38-43 is the rippest age. yuummmmy
[Thanks, Autumn. --fl]
However old I am, I'm always into guys about 1-2 years older than me.
My current flame is 28 (I'm 27). Gotta love the men of 1978; they're always popping up here and there in my lovelife ... even if this one did go and move to Colorado:(
[Yeah, I seem to have a similar moving window though my head's been turned by people of all ages. Thanks, Camogirl. --fl]
I give myself the 20 year rule.
Anyone between 20 years younger and 20 years older than me.
And as for me? I feel my absolute best right now!
[Yup, "today" is always a great day to be alive. Thanks, Madame. --fl]
I rarely date anyone more than 7 years my junior or senior (actually I think 7 years my junior still isn't legal...). But I often find older men very attractive (think early 50s), there's something about a man who knows how to properly groom his beard or who obviously works out but has a couple of extra pounds on him that just makes something inside me melt.
I figure this is a good thing because where would I be in middle age if the only men I found desirable were 25 or 31?
[Well *I* think early 50s, of course, but I don't think of that as "older" :-) But yeah, Hugo's got a point that if you're stuck on one certain age then, except for a relative handful of years your sort of sunk. Thanks, Colette. --fl]
Age? What's age got to do with it? Men are desirable, full stop. Granted, some are more desirable than others but that's purely personal and nothing to do with age.
[Nice perspective, A. I particularly like it because it recognizes where beauty lies: in the eye of the beholder rather than an external/eternal ideal of weights, measures, shapes, and textures. Thanks! --fl]
I think age is so relative. Different people are attractive at different ages. I definitely think I'm more attractive now, at 38, than I was at 28, and I was more attractive at 28 than 18. My man of 11 years tells me (daily) that I have never been sexier in his eyes than I am now. Similarly, I think he's hotter now, at 34, than when I met him at 23.
I recently watched the episode of "30 Hours" where a guy tries an "anti-aging" regimen for 30 days, including daily injections of testosterone and human growth hormone. He's thirty-four. Now my first question is: why would any 34-year-old want to do this anti-aging shit? (Which begs the question why anyone would.) But my second is: why does this man look about 45 at the age of 34? He doesn't exercise, he eats like shit, and he overworks himself to support his wife and three kids in the suburban American style to which they are accustomed. If he started treating his body better and living a healthier (and probably more enjoyable) life, he might get the anti-aging effect without the painful, dangerous, and expensive injections.
Which is a huge digression. But still: some men look great at 50 who looked so-so at 25. Some men reach their peak at 20 and go downhill from there. For women, unfortunately, the cultural pressure not to age makes it tougher to grow old gracefully. But it's always ugly when a 50-year-old woman is clearly trying to look 18. (And the same would be true of men, I guess, but they don't seem to feel the pressure as much.)
[I think you nailed it, E. It's not that this age or that is "perfect," it's trying to present yourself as though you were different. (Non-sex example: insert images of monks who used to shave out bald spots to make them look older and, presumably, wiser.) There's never anything wrong with the ages we are. It's way more about the *health and happiness* we're in. Worrying about age affects health and happiness. Thanks. --fl]
I judge it by when I was with my most attractive sexual partners and the kind of feedback I got about my looks. By that standard, I'd say I peaked out about 21-23 - good features, skinny as hell (and liked it that way), full head of hair. Girlfriends I still have fantasies about.
More generally, I looked good from my teens to about 30. My 30s - steady decline, male pattern baldness (which I'd seen coming in my 20s) manifests with a vengeance, steady buildup of body mass, even if I'm not getting fat per se, facial features start looking older. Not happy at all with the way I look at 40, but trying not to let myself go completely.
Also a big problem for me and many other men - every year I get older, but the women I'm attracted to stay the same age!
[I'm sort of the opposite. Every year I get older and every year I recognize the loveliness in more people. When I was young I could never imagine how old people must have looked when they were young, or how the yound would look when old. It's all pretty cool. Thanks, IACB. --fl]