A big hand for masturbation

Madam X of The Madame X files has some wonderful things to say about masturbation this morning, and invites us to make a very worthwhile New Year's resolution.

I've masturbated while having actual penis in vagina intercourse, I've masturbated while having someone go down on me and I've finger fucked myself just to fuck myself while my partner is right there next to me doing whatever.

For the record I enjoy a little help while masturbating with my partner present. A nipple pinch, a finger inserted, a little ass play all wonderful additions to my masturbatory adventures with my partner.

I love nothing more than to watch my man masturbate*. I love to run my hands down his strong forearms as he strokes his hard cock and close my hands around his and stroke him off together. I love to lick the drops of pre cum off the head of his glistening cock and you just KNOW I can't keep my mouth off his balls.

Sometimes masturbating is the only way I can have an orgasm. Sometimes having sex in any/all of its forms with another person will cause me to have an orgasm. Sometimes I don't have an orgasm at all and I don't stress about it.

Shocking to you? That's right sometimes I don't and the best part is I don't stress about it. It's not about the destination people, it's about the journey.

Bring masturbation out of the bath room and share it with your partner, make that your New Year's Resolution.

Read the quote in context here

This would be a good time to mention that some of the best resolutions involve doing something you've probably already been doing, at least a little. But in all events make your resolution not just a promise but a declaration that formalizes your intention.

Anyway, that would make Madame's suggestion a particularly easy one to implement for most of us. First because chances are *exceedingly* high we're already masturbating, and next because there's a better-than-even chance that we're already comfortable with (or at least willing to) masturbate in the company of our partners.

But *finally* it's easy because chances are very high that even if you think you don't you probably already are masturbating with your partner. And that's why I think it's a great candidate for a nice, formal, declarative resolution.

Y'know all those articles, books, magazines, lectures, radio shows, tv shows, blog entries, and (no doubt at least once, somewhere) skywriting messages that say roughly 75% of women need "clitoral stimulation" during intercourse? Another word for that would be "masturbation." You know that practice popularized by porn and the (justifiable) fear that condoms aren't the best barriers where men pull out of their partners and ejaculate on their own or their partner's body after a little final manual stimulation? Again, another word for that would be "masturbation."

And you know how excited you get when you've kissed your way down your partner's body, loosening their pajamas as you go, nuzzling the newly bared skin as you slide the bottoms down over their hips, and then beginning to first almost chastely, and then more boldly kissing, licking, slurping, and/or sucking their blood-hot naughty bits? Know how it totally winds your own stem when their hips shift and shudder, their smells and flavors delighting your senses, their increasingly helpless moans are encouraging you to push them farther and farther out of their everyday selves and so you slip a hand under your own waistband to stroke or stir some of your own electric tensions? That's masturbation too.

As I said earlier, whether you've noticed it or not, chances are *very* high that either you, or your partner, or both of you are already regularly masturbating in front of each other.

The weird thing is that for most of us, when we think about it at all, we think somehow it's cheating!

Heh.

If so it's time to think again. It's not cheating, it's, um, *very* hot.

Think about it this way: you know one of the big reasons a lot of people fantasize about three-ways? It's the idea of teaming up with someone else to drive their partner wild, or being teamed up on and driven wild. It's the idea of another person who's just as wild about you as they are, someone who's to touch you here while they touch you there, someone who'll fan your flames from the front while they steer into you from behind. Someone who can't keep their hands off you. Someone with a masterful knowledge of your partner's secret hotspots who's as eager to show them to you as they are to master your own. Now a lot of us might think it would be *really* cheating to bring another person to bed with us. If we think about it we don't need a threesome to have almost all that with just the two of you (and, as I've said, you probably already are) without *cheating* at all!

Now if you'd asked me, prudish libertine that I am, I'd probably have said something prim like "might as well admit you enjoy it." The much more generous Madame X puts it very nicely: don't just admit it, make a resolution out of it.