Cock-a... doodle... um... dumb idea
Ok, so ClueChick just recently said
We all know how I feel about dick pics, right? I mean, really, they're not the way to go, unless you're looking to make a gay-man-posting-as-a-woman's day.
But if, just for argument's sake, you really must send a dick shot, it is not, usually, worth 1000 words, so you should also include some text.
But even more importantly, if you're going to (ahem) lead with your cock, you should definitely be sure it's particularly impressive, because, hey, you should assume the woman is seeing lots of other such pictures, at least some of which are going to be... standouts, shall we say?
And the other day Gander of GooseAndGander pointed out that...
When historians go searching for an icon of sexual culture circa 2006, they'll have to choose the cock shot. Craigslist, all those hook-up websites....cock, cock, cock. What is the origin of the strange notion that the erect cock makes a good calling card? Simple vanity? A hanger-on from gay subculture? Or does the hard-on, extended like a handshake, actually work as an introduction? I'd much rather see an pic that showed personality - arty, straight-arrow, suggestive, whatever. On our online profiles we say it directly: do NOT to send us cock shots. And still they trickle in. I guess that's good. Now we know the sender is rude and they can't read.
You can read the post here but first, wait, there's more because Goose added...
I try to imagine who does that....a guy sitting reading craigs list or alt and skimming the ad and even though it says no cock shots...."I've got a great idea. I'll send a picture of my cock."
I really like ClueChick's point that if everybody's doing it then what, what on earth, makes you think she's gonna want to pull the brass ring off of yours? *Especially* if that's all you seem to have to say about yourself?
I'm going to be charitable and say that I think a lot of guys kind of worry that people will think they're too small and the idea is to get that out of the way. Or, barring that, they worry they *are* too small and they're either hoping for reassurance or maybe early dismissal rather than in-person ridicule?
If I was feeling less charitable I'd say the process goes something like this. You're a little bit lonely and maybe more than a little horny. You decide to try out this online dating thing, and that makes you more horny. When we're horny almost everyone, whether we're men or women or other, experience a shift of consciousness out of our heads and into our bodies. (I said *almost* so don't fret if that's not you.) And if we're alone and horny and we have a camera when we're in that state maybe it's natural to focus the camera where our focus is centered. And while we're excited about all that it makes sense to imagine everybody else will share our enthusiasm. (Never mind that Murray S. Davis detailed how it almost never works that way unless you've gotten there together.) And so we post.
And, getting back to feeling very charitable again I'd say most of us are no more creative about being attractive than we are about most other things we don't really have a lot of frame of reference for -- after all *we've* never thought of doing anything like that so it's new to *us!*
Oh yeah, and finally, falling off the charity wagon all together, given that astonishing numbers of us think Heineken is an exotic beer, that Godiva Chocolate is a surprising anniversary present, and that Victoria Secrets lingerie is sexy... none of us are as original as we, well, as we imagine.
Which gets back to the biggest problem with posting your cock: everybody else is doing it too. Even if it *did* work for the first guy who ever tried it, when yours is cock #97 in this morning's inbox you cock is probably not going to be scoring a lot of points. *Even if it's a very nice cock!*
In the extremely unlikely circumstance that I ever tried online hookups I'd take a clue from ClueChick, and Gander, and Goose, and oh, say, 31,000,000 other unimpressed recipients and post something unpredictable, original, and (considering the competition) memorable. Like... hey... how about... my face!
Update: By the way, all bets are off, of course, when people actively *asks* you for photos.
Note: I'm *not* trying online hookups so I'm not posting my face. Then again I'm not posting my cock either. Or, at least, not this time. And even when I do it appears here in the context of nearly a thousand posts that give you at least some idea of who you're looking at.
From my "Comic Effects" photoset on Flickr.
Seriously, guys. Start with your face, or, if you're concerned about anonymity, your forearms, your hands. No, actually start with a polite introduction. And if you're not sure what to say, well, ClueChick has an excellent reason to call herself ClueChick.
Nice one! ;)
[Thank you, A! --fl]
VERY SEX if I do say so myself...I say go with this
[Thanks, HC. --fl]
Honestly, on sites like ALT or AFF, so few men have any actual luck. I'm convinced that guys get off on sending filthy little emails or pictures of their junk. Since they know their odds are so bad, they just do what titillates them (imagining some hot young thing looking at their package) and don't really care what the recipient thinks.
[Funny thing is that back before the internet I heard similar complaints about similar responses in print-based personal ads. Or maybe not so funny. :-) Thanks, Ellie. --fl]
I don't think I would want one as an introduction, but I do like looking at them.
[Yeah, I'm not saying nobody likes to see them. It's just that not nearly enough people want to see them *first* to make it a very effective strategy. :-) Thank you, Five. --fl]