Shear fashion
Responding to Esther November's post against shaving (oops, that would be against women shaving -- it's evidently ok for men... oops, that would be against women shaving their *pubic* hair -- it's evidently ok to shave your legs and pits) on Associated Content, Selena Kitt takes up an argument I've made over and over.
What is this “Real women don’t shave!” nonsense all about? The moral judgment there is enormous and completely unnecessary. Last time I checked, not every man had facial hair. They choose to shave–or not–depending on their personal tastes. I didn’t see any articles out there on “Real Men Don’t Shave!” — at least, not outside of the Amish or Orthodox communities, and I don’t think I’ll be seeing their views on the Internet any time soon.
I happen to think one should be suspicious of grooming choices that happen to reinforce the dominant fashion dictate du jour, and even more suspicious of choices that, when taken, conveniently magnify gender differences inside an environment that seems to see such choices as not at all optional[*].
But it remains the case that for the most part shaving itself -- the act of removing hair from one's body -- isn't an issue at all. Outside of the "natural" fashion trend in the 1970s shaving armpits and legs have never been controversial. And outside of extremely orthodox religious traditions (Moslem, Jewish, and Christian religions for instance) it's very generally given that men will shave their faces.
That the latest trend for men to shave their genitals hasn't been met with anything like the angst, outrage, or sometimes enthusiasm that's leveled against women who do likewise is significant of... something. That men who shave their pubes are often mocked or branded narcissistic rather than enthralled by fashion while women who do so are believed to be enthralled rather than narcissistic is also pretty interesting.
Hey, wake up! Seriously. I don't mean it's ironic, I mean it's *really interesting!* It's about double standards, sure (and Selena really drives that home in her post, which again is worth a read), but prematurely waving it away as *merely* a double standard is probably a mistake.
I've been reading Germaine Greer
Bottom line: it either really does or really doesn't matter whether humans shave. That we make it *mean different things* depending on whether men or women do it suggests we need less dismissing and more dialogue.
[*]See, for instance, one comment to November's piece: "Hairy vaginas [sic --fl] are gross! There aren't enough O's in SMOOOOOOTH to describe my wife's shaved vagina! Really nice!" That's not representative of all positions. Another man says "I HATE THIS! My wife did it about a year and a half ago and now we hardly ever have sex. She looks gross. Her muff was PERFECT before, i.e. not overly bushy. Plus she gets it done by this idiot who makes her hair look like a teenage boy." Both positions, however, represent men's sense of entitlement in the issue of their partner's grooming choices.
"That the latest trend for men to shave their genitals hasn't been met with anything like the angst, outrage, or sometimes enthusiasm that's leveled against women who do likewise is significant of... something."
Yeah, but what? It's an interesting question... the whole thing is rather weird. People certainly do seem to have strong opinions about it one way or another, when it comes to women... but as you pointed out, the fervor dies down when it comes to men.
It's all rather confusing. Greer had it easy in some ways. Lines were less blurry, things more clear.
(and it's a shame we can't see just a LITTLE lower in that picture... just, you know, for the scientific purpose of seeing where you fall in the hairless/hirsute debate, of course... *grin*)
[It seems to me that what's going on is that once the decision was made that men were hairy it became threatening to be. Also, at least after Spears/Aguilera fashion effect it was possible to dress even more provocatively while pretending to be not pubescent but sexlessly adult. Pubic hair peeping from the tops of those low-riders would have been too much of an acknowledgment. Thanks, Selena. --fl]
I agree with that first commenter on November's piece. Hairy vaginas are gross. Or would be, if vaginas grew hair.
Sorry. My own personal pet peeve when people refer to the vulva as the vagina.
I agree with you on the shaving issue. It should be a personal choice. And as if getting naked with someone the first time isn't nerve-wracking enough, now we have to worry about whether he'll be grossed out by us looking the way nature has designed us to look.
It's just hair, for crying out loud. And it actually serves a purpose. And that purpose isn't as a tool to show your ownership of me.
Gosh. I sound like I have many issues, don't I? Backing away from the comment box before the men in the white coats come to get me.
[And if you really want to get into the lose-lose-edness of it, remember from those comments that if he's not grossed out by your hair he might be grossed out because there's none. So it's not like either way is a choice, it's that either way could be a *wrong* choice! That said, having at various times been discriminated against by partners and even employers for having, or not having, or not having the right shape bear, mustache, and sideburns I'm slightly more sanguine about similar baseless prejudice about non-facial hair. But, again, what gets me isn't the pressure to shave or not, it's that where there's pressure on men it registers (if at all) as fashion rather than sexual accommodation* whereas for women it's held to be accommodation instead of fashion. Thanks, Dawn. --fl]