Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

I’ve said it before….you are just too fucking funny. And that in itself makes you more than worth the 1k you seem to be worth. winks

Apparently, I’m worth $1,224 / hr. If we have sex, you’ll owe me. Or perhaps, I’ll just expect you to work harder or longer.

Umm, no wait, I read that wrong. Apparently the average is now $214.38 and that’s not my value. My value is on the sample button/label thingies, which say $918 / hour. Which is somehow less than $214. I think there’s a bug in there somewhere.

I took this silly thing a few days ago (I’m a sucker for silly quizzes) and came out at $1086. I rounded down on cup size and rounded up like you did, figleaf, on “what I’d do,” on the theory that this covered anything short of BDSM.

Nightfall, I noticed the same bug when I experimented with varying my answers. It’s interesting that more education raises women’s value.

Like you, Holly, I have to figure mine is a totally bogus number. “Over 30” is not the same as “over 35” or “over 40.” And I just can’t imagine there’s a booming market for women my age (44), no matter how slender, sexy, warm, or adventurous. I mean, “Kristen” got $1000 an hour, so even if I think I’m worth it, I doubt Client no. 9 would agree.

Possibly there’s less of an age penalty for men, although I’d think the bigger issue would be that even with ED drugs, a man past 40 or 50 couldn’t serve many clients per evening, and therefore his earnings would drop off. (I’m sure you’d be worth every penny anyway, figleaf.) :-)

Bizarrely I am worth $1117. They obviously put far too high a value on education and travelling, and the categories for age really are not fine enough. I should be off the scale, not lumped in with over 30s :)

I’m answering in a separate comment because I’m still socked in on my final project. Just a few points about this “how much are you worth” business.

1) We have absolutely no idea what they heck they’re using for either inputs nor algorithms in their quiz. Pack all answers in salt.

2) That said, let’s be careful that our skepticism doesn’t discount their methodology. For instance I haven’t compiled and cross-tabbed presented criteria and prices from multiple escort ads. (And there’s tons of data, as any Yellow Pages or alt-weekly want-ads section will tell you.)

3) Let’s also be careful not to make assumptions about what potential customers value. Even assuming the stereotypical worst of intentions (which really isn’t a safe assumption) why assume all customers seek stereotypical prostitutes. It’s evidently pretty common for escorts, especially, to, well, escort their customers to dinner or clubs before returning to their hotels for sex. During that time they typically prefer someone who doesn’t look like they’re being paid and who can hold up a compatible conversation. And without knocking any reader’s skill, interest, or experience, most acts of prostitution involve strikingly vanilla activity. For the same reason most activity is vanilla: most people, even those who hire escorts are vanilla! In other words the sex itself probably isn’t always the main consideration.

3b) Remember price is a matter of supply and demand. There may not be very much demand for experienced, older gentleman escorts, or female knowledge workers with post-grad educations in their 40s, but nevertheless the demand almost certainly outstrips the supply.

I’m not saying anyone here would want to be an escort just because it’s not what they expect. But everyone I’ve ever talked to about it who was in a position to know says it’s often not at all like what we expect. (Just one instance it’s not very common for someone earning in the hundreds of dollars an hour to “service” more than one customer a day. Not least because the rates quoted above are per hour, not per incident.)

figleaf

p.s. reCaptcha uncannily says “premium” “find!”

If the average person is worth $214 and change, who is pulling down the average? I tried giving the answers I thought would give the least value, for every question, and couldn’t get below $600. Even an obese midget high school dropout with an STD and halitotis, is worth more than average.

I think this quiz is broken.

[For the record I suspect it’s broken as well, Elizilla. For what it’s worth the $214 figure seems to match the average of advertised prices for escorts in towns large enough to, say, have convention centers, and therefore to have, say, Yellow Pages ads for escorts. (Based on a very quick Google search of random sites.) —fl]