This is a follow-up on an earlier post about androcentrism in BDSM. Smack My Nuts, a submissive man commenting on “On Being Straight” on Bitchy Jones of Bitchy Jones’s Diary said something seriously interesting about yet another “it’s about the men” / “getting penetrated equals submission” quirk that shows up, evidently a lot, in dominant woman / submissive man fantasies.

I feel like this is all connected to the idea that dildo-anal sex is automatically dominating sex because the person penetrating is the dominating one and the one getting penetrated is the submissive one. I’ve never really bought into that idea because it would suggest that women are somehow inherently submissive since they don’t come with their own penises and that in order to become dominant, they have to go buy an artificial penis. And I just can’t accept that idea.

To me, orgasm denial sex, sex in which the woman is allowed to come, but the guy isn’t, would be far more sexy and dominating. If there’s going to be a strap on involved, I’d much rather see a guy with a raging hard-on forced to fuck the girl with the strap-on, leaving his own needs completely unsatisfied while she gets off as much as she wants. Although I think that even that isn’t as sexy as the couple having intercourse together until she gets off, but the guy is then left with a hard cock bobbing in the air. That’s sexy as all get out.

Read his comment here.

His fantasy is still, well, rather obviously his fantasy but he’s clearly distinguishing that just because he’d gets his kicks from orgasm denial doesn’t mean his dom would automatically want the same thing.

I’m really liking Bitchy Jones. And by extension many of her commenters.