The Difference Between Sexual and Sexualized
Google exercises inspired by Anastasia of Sexualité who wonderfully illustrates the difference between sexuality and sexualization in the context of pole-dancing classes for elementary-school-aged girls.
Pole dancing: Personalized Results 1 - 100 of about 1,550,000 for pole-dancing. (0.09 seconds)
Men pole dancing: Personalized Results 1 - 54 of 54 for men-pole-dancing. (0.05 seconds)**
Boys pole dancing: Personalized Results 1 - 18 of 18 for boys-pole-dancing. (0.07 seconds)
Lessons to help *all* children prepare for fully actualized and self-determined physical sexuality would be a little bold but perfectly fine. It's not so hot when they're lessons to a) help only one gender prepare to b) compete with each other for gender-traditional male contact initiation while, especially, c) insisting to the students that it's all about exercise, coordination, and self-esteem and nothing to do with sex. A.k.a sexualization. A.k.a. grooming into the "no-sex" class.
[** Women pole dancing: Personalized Results 1 - 100 of about 4,210 for women-pole-dancing. (0.33 seconds)
Pole dancing girls: Personalized Results 1 - 100 of about 8,300 for girls-pole-dancing. (0.14 seconds)
--fl]
The C is the really bothersome part. There are a million forms of exercise that build coordination and self-esteem and the reason pole-dancing was chosen over karate or basketball or gymnastics can't be random.
And the sad part is that it probably doesn't stem from any kind of truly sinister intention, but probably from an honest belief that looking sexy leads to self-esteem. Which it can! But not for children, and not when you don't admit what you're doing.
Denying that spreading your legs around a pole is sexual does two different harms: it puts children into inappropriately sexual situations, and it denies the ability for these same situations to be very sexy among adults.
["...an honest belief that looking sexy leads to self-esteem..." Exactly! That honest belief *plus* the equally honest belief that for all *looking* sexy is a good idea deliberately *acting* or, worse, intentionally *being* sexy would be unthinkable winds you up with... sexualization instead of sexuality. The moral equivalent of a "kick me" note pinned where they can't see it. And only for girls, of course. %!#$!@#$. Thanks, Holly. --fl]