Why Not Go Straight For the Spoon?
Still working my way back through older comments I ran into a great one from TLT in response to this post about housework as the traditionally "missing" displacement fetish for women. TLT says
I recently figured out that this is exactly what I find revolting about a TV ad for Betty Crocker Warm Delights.
Yes, even the name sounds sexual. Yet, Warm Delights are these...things that you open, add water to, cook in the microwave for a few minutes, and get what ostensibly is a dessert.
As far as I'm concerned, the only time dessert comes out of the microwave is if you put a slice of cold pie in there for 20 seconds before you put the ice cream on it, but that's something else altogether.
The commercial shows women (and only women) eating these things, often in a bed and/or in pajamas, moaning and sighing, eyes closed. Some even lick the spoons and forks they're eating with. I think one even licks the bowl it's in.
It all seems to suggest that what you (woman with misplaced, confused, repressed sexual desire) will get out of this box is sexual pleasure, not some overpriced combination of chemicals that probably tastes only vaguely of chocolate.(Chocolate being another one of those things that is supposed to drive women just *crazy*)
It's hard to catalog the variations of stereotypes and nonsense that ad perpetuates. Let's see...there's "Women don't really want, need or like sex. They just want dessert...and probably jewelry." Or, how about "You don't really need/want/deserve sex. Just eat this cake and shut up. You'll feel better about spending your nights in bed alone." Or, my favorite "It's just too much work to cook something yummy for yourself, or even to go to a bakery to get it. Just put this in the microwave, it's just as good."
Ick. Just ick.
What seems really troubling about that ad (and, you know, that's sort of a theme in a lot of ads and not just that one) is what an *empty* displacement it is. Once upon a time, maybe, one could have argued there was some sort of overall benefit for women sublimating their sexual expression into nurturing family with food. Or something. But the women in these ads are almost alway depicted as single or, occasionally, partnered but alone (as in you see a darkened sleeping form next to the awake woman who's slurping cookie dough or something.) And so they're taking what might have once been a nominally beneficial sublimation and shifting the "nurturing indulgence" back on the woman herself... which is kind of nuts in the way only sublimation (or, long as we're batting around Freud, the "return of the repressed") can be nuts: she's alone or single and so she's expressing sexuality by... *feeding herself!*
I suppose you can't expect Betty Crocker Corp., which sells only sweets, to try and sell anything else. But... but... but... &%#@#%~!
It's just *so "no-sex" class! Why not "sell" the woman on giving direct pleasure? Or using the spoon to give herself *real* orgasms?** Or if that's too racy or presumptuous how about just eating the flipping dessert?
(For the record they throw different kinds of sublimation at men so I can't comment directly. There was a great Saturday Night Live or Mad sketch doing the YouTube rounds a while ago about a man having a maximal shampoo-ad experience in the shower that I'd like to link to. I think it ends with him asleep against the shower door? Anyone have a link? For that matter, let me know about any other similar uselessly-sublimating ads you've got YouTube links to. Update: From Bunny here's one link: MadTV "Herbal Elements", and from JFPBookworm here's a Will Ferrell/SNL take on the same concept. .)
[** Does anyone do that any more? When I was in high-school a heck of a lot of girls in our informal sex-ed circle swore by masturbating with the backs of soup- or tablespoons. --fl]
Speaking of spoons, this made me think of those Yoplait yogurt commercials, although this one is not as bad as warm delights and it made me laugh HERE. So good!
[Thanks for the link, Mag. --fl]
I've not heard of masturbating with a spoon - you've given me something to try!
You can see the MadTV "Herbal Elements" ad here.
[Thanks, Bunny! I'll update my post. --fl]
Here is the Saturday Night Live version of the same concept. Not sure which came first (so to speak).
[Thanks, JFP. I've updated the post with your link. --fl]
This was a funny post and I've never really paid any attention to the commercials but I have tried that dessert! It's delicious. I got the one w/ caramel w/ a coupon once a long time ago. I think they are a bit overpriced for a small serving of cake. ;)
Just FYI, Warm Delights are DELICIOUS. They are definitely a bit overpriced for one little piece of cake, BUT when you're craving chocolate, it is much better to pop one slice of cake in the microwave than to make a whole cake that is just going to A) sit on the counter and call to you until you binge on the whole thing, or B) sit on the counter and mold or call bugs, since you can't eat the whole thing. For a person who lives alone, or with others who don't need chocolate (yes - NEED), it is the perfect way to have a little fast & easy treat without going overboard. Plus, they don't take up limited fridge or freezer space.
I'm sure you've heard this, but eating chocolate stimulates the production of feel-good hormones, which can be orgasmic. There are chemical reasons for craving it.
Also, 'Betty Crocker' sells a LOT of different products, NOT only sweets.
[We'll see if I can find one and try it for myself. Thanks, MP. --fl]
"I'm sure you've heard this, but eating chocolate stimulates the production of feel-good hormones, which can be orgasmic. There are chemical reasons for craving it."
I feel that way about cheese. It does something good to my brain. They should have commercials with orgasmic people eating cheese. Mmmm Brie! Camembert! So good! But not oral sex good.
[I think I've heard that about cheese somewhere else too.... doesn't matter though does it, Mag, since it works for you! I've had some very good chocolate but it wasn't oral-sex good either. --fl]
I never got all those messages from the ads ... maybe I'm just oblivious, but mostly I got the "yum, chocolate!" idea from it. That, and instantly dismissing them because I don't do gluten, and try to minimize my consumption of processed foods, so they're not an option for me.
As for chocolate -- I know I've closed my eyes so that I could fully focus on the taste and sensation. I suspect I have even moaned.
I've described some of the best ski runs of my life as "better than sex." And I like sex a lot. So I'm not really seeing the harm in comparing "something good" to sexual pleasure.
The message I got from eating it alone, in the middle of the night, etc, I think of less as putting in their sexual place than their body image one (yes, it's all related) -- ie, women shouldn't indulge in desserts like this because they might get *horrors* fat, and then no one will love them or find them desirable (okay, getting closer now) -- but you can *defy* that culture by eating this little piece of mass marketed cake! Take that, society!
And since we're talking about chocolate, can I share something completely unrelated that I thought about in part because of your posts? It's not a fully formed thought, but I wonder how many of the people who object to porn because of the perception that it must necessarily exploit the female actors -- I wonder how many of those people also insist on free-trade, sweatshop-free products in the entirety of their lives. Because I suspect without any proof whatsoever that a lot of people who object to porn for moralistic grounds would also object to paying more for coffee that's ostensibly intended to provide workers with a better situation.
(Now whether free trade arrangements are successful / can be trusted is another kettle of fish ...)
[Ooh! Excellent point about choices of points of exploitation. To be fair a lot of people really are conscientious about getting only fair-trade/Oxfam-approveable goods... but they're no more likely to be a consistent block on porn than anyone else. I'm reading about trafficking and slavery worldwide at the moment and the author says only one in sixteen slaves is trafficked for *sex,* the rest are trafficked for agricultural, industrial, service, and domestic labor. And by the way, I've had chocolate that's been that good, and definitely some ski runs on some days that are better than orgasms (shush, don't knock it till you've tried it.) But I *still* don't think that's what's up with those ads. Thanks, Monique. Come back any time! --fl]
I think you mean "fair trade". Free trade, at least as currently practiced, seems to be economically destructive to everyone except global corporations.
Doh. Sure enough. "fair trade" is what I meant.
Whoa. The one day that I miss coming here and my little comment went and grew up into a post. Thanks!
[Hey, it was a good comment, TLT. Thanks for the inspiration. --fl]
I don't think I'm short on imagination, but golly, I'm still trying to figure out WTF you can do with a spoon. Other than eat ice cream, and that's precisely NOT the point here.
[Let's just say that times have changed, *a lot,* since the spoon idea was popular. But I swear you'd have thought nobody'd ever heard of women masturbating before 1971 or so, and certainly not masturbating clitorally. The idea was you take the back of a tablespoon and press against the "top of your folds" i.e. your clitoral hood and rub in circles till you felt something. I think it actually was pretty useful because lots of people thought "the clitoris" you're supposed to rub was the little glans under the hood and for an awful lot of women that's too sensitive even for bare finger tips. The spoon trick helped *a lot* with that. Although nowadays I think most people just aren't as phobic about touching themselves in general or masturbating in particular. But back then, woozie! Thanks, Sungold. --fl]
I think you can press and rub the back of the spoon on your clitoris. Worth a try...
[Yup, that's how it was supposed to work. (And *did* work for that matter!) I never saw anyone do it but in a case of what in retrospect must have been early phone sex a friend and I, after both reading one of the very early pop sex books, got quite a mutual lift out of her walk-through with it over the phone. (And wow, the things you remember! Or the things you *forget!?!?*) Thanks, Mag. --fl]