Searching For Men In What Should Be the Right Places
"Tile, Towel, Tub 038" from my "Tile, Towel, Tub" photoset on Flickr.
Also, why these photos?
Laura Woodhouse of The F-Word Blog says
The Sixth Carnival Against Pornography and Prostitution is here, while the Fourth Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy is here.
Both offer plenty to get your teeth into, whatever your perspective!
While I'm here, can I ask: why are there next to no "sexy" images of men on sex positive sites, or sites focusing on porn for women etc?
It's a *really really* good question. Several years ago I started taking my own photos because the little bits that pass for "porn for women" didn't seem very sincere. That they were way more successful that at least *I'd* ever expected suggests there's considerably more demand, or at least potential demand, than there is supply of erotic images of heterosexual men based on what hetero women seem to respond to instead of just trying to avoid what they turn away from.
At any rate I'm not saying that the overweight of women to men on pro-porn sites is suspicious -- sexualized women outnumber sexualized men in almost all media representations from newsreaders on CNN to the cover of Reader's Digest. To, of course, virtually all mainstream porn. And fashion magazines. And therefore it could just be that women are just as conditioned as men to respond to sexualization, and therefore even progressive "porn for women" sites might lean way towards representations of women.** Not *suspicious,* but still indicative of societal, if not individual, bias.
The good news is that there really are a lot more men, a lot more sexy men, and seemingly a lot more interested in what women want men out there posting their own photos for Half-nekkid Thursdays and other occasions than when I started. (Sort of a good thing -- if there'd been more then I wouldn't have bothered to take my own, and it's actually been pretty good for my self-image that I did.)
But anyway, when I say it's a good question I'm not saying it's actually a good *criticism.* At this point anway it really is just a good *question.* What's your take?
Oh yeah, and shameless plug: You can find out more about my images here.
I don't know why there aren't more, but I do wish there were.
Also, really nice picture. I do like the ones where only those pertinent bits are covered. Very hot.
[Thank you, ks. If the proportions were reversed I'd feel the same way. Thanks! --fl]
The argument that I have heard most, although I absolutely do not agree, is that the female form is just more appealing to everyone, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual. It's soft angles and lovely curves appeal more than a man's hard angles and raw sexuality (being that men's sexual organs are right out on display and women's are more "modestly" placed. I don't agree - I find men as appealing as women, both aesthetically and erotically. But that's the argument I've heard.
[I totally agree we're *taught* they're more appealing, and it's *certainly* the case that women are under way, way more pressure to *appear* appealing. But as you say, there's the story that you, like me, and like everybody has heard "I'm supposed to find women more appealing" and then there's your direct experience "I find men as appealing as women." And the way a lot of social distortion happens is that we all try to accommodate what *everyone else* says everyone else would prefer. Wild, huh? Thanks, Bunny. --fl]
My response to that actual post is up at my place.
My response to what I think it's intending to talk about as opposed to its poor framing is arguably this post from last year, though.
[Wow, Dw3t, that's great. Thanks. --fl]