Orgasms as something to do

Going back to a much earlier (2006!) post about the language of orgasms, another good reason to seek a more active, verb-ish, non-noun-ish way to express orgasms is that something you *do,* as opposed to something you just "have," carries less status-related baggage associated with it.

I've mentioned elsewhere that too often orgasms are used as a way to keep score. How many you have can become all that matters. Give your partner one? Score points! Couldn't have any? Eeeep, you lost! Give your partner several? More points! Sometimes it's like some kind of pinball games except what are you supposed to do with all those points? Win a free turn? This is perfectly consistent with something you can have or give, but it's possible to fetishise orgasms just like it is to fetishise all sorts of other things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all trying to devalue orgasms. They're wonderful things to do with yourself or someone else, or to do for someone or have someone do for you, and of course it can be disappointing (not to mention frustrating) when you aren't able to do them yourself or for your partner. I'm just saying orgasms aren't things!

Or put it another way, orgasms exist in the singing, not in the song. They exist in the notes played as they're played. They're the strings plucked, they're resonances and vibrations. They are themselves acts of creation, not the transcribed results (the "score?") of those acts.