Real Adult Game
[Note: I'm on vacation in what may be very limited internet service so this is a pre-recorded and (I very much hope!) a self-publishing post. I may not have much opportunity to reply to comments but you're comments are still very welcome. I'll reply as soon as I can. You're some of the best commenters in the blogsphere so you're always welcome to respond spiritedly but respectfully to each other's comments while I'm away. --fl]
Red of The Red Sneaker Diaries reviewed an (almost -- turns out you've got to be hetero) very-cool sounding sex game that doesn't just facilitate sex, it facilitates exploration and communication about interest, boundaries, and adventurousness.
Sex Is Fun comes as an unassuming deck of cards. The cards divide into twelve piles – six for the guy, six for the girl (yes, that is the one negative to this game – it’s for a heterosexual couple – no two ways about it). The piles are all different topics: “Pillow Talk”, “Touch Test”, “Oral Action”, “Sex Play”, “Kinky Action”, “Act It Out”. Game paly is very simple. The first to go picks a card and acts on it, then the other player reacts, and a point is assigned based on the outcome. The preverbal ante can be upped by playing an “I Dare You” or “Prove It!” card, upping the number of points on the line. At the end of the game, most points wins. Simple really. I’ve said it before, simple is sexy.
Read the quote, and find links to the game vendor's site, here.
The solution, it seems to me, isn't so much to lament it's heterocentrism as to encourage them to develop sequels and/or extensions. (Hey, it works for games for children such as Killer Bunny and Carcassonne so it can work for games for adults as well.) And in terms of serving customers who could use it most? Tell me there's one relationship expert who can say (with a straight face and any credibility) that straight people need less work on real adult communication about sex than people of other, perhaps more necessarily aware, persuasions and I'll back down. :-) Seriously, even if it's only the first step it sounds like a step in a good direction.
Game design and sex - I'm all over this post.
I think one of the things that makes "sex games" hard to create is that the game designer has to either make assumptions on the players - in this case, not just that it's a heterosexual couple, but that it's a couple of a certain comfort level, openness and agreement about what sorts of things are "on the table," so to speak.
One thing that seems to work about this one is that it seems to be about communication rather than performance. I really like the idea of "I dare you"/"Prove it" cards to move from communication to performance, but looking over the rules they seem to be used differently than I'd imagined. I saw players using the cards to choose which among a set of appealing activities they'd want to take part in at that moment; the instructions used examples that suggest the cards were intended to push the other player's limits, rather than one's own.
Of course, one of the real things these sorts of games depend on are the sorts of things that are actually *on* the cards, not just the mechanics of the game. (And here is where expansion packs come in - not just to encompass other types of couples or groups, but to "flesh out," so to speak, the sorts of activities a set of players find most interesting.)
[Nice point about why expansion packs would really make a difference. Also, yes, I really appreciate the part about movement through communication (specifically negotiation and disclosure) to *navigate* limits instead of just pushing them. Thanks, JFP. --fl]
I am not entirely sure, but I think this is the same people that put out the Sex is Fun podcast. I highly recommend it to anyone, especially people who like this site. ;)
[I think you're right, Susan. And those are interesting podcasts. Thanks. --fl]