Photo by Flickr user Artiii. Used under a Creative Commons license.
This is all apropos of nothing, and a bit silly to boot, not that that ever seems to stop me. Anyway, it’s about a little bug in abstinence-only policies.
Ok, so… When I was taking that coordinated women’s-studies/interpersonal-communications/sex-education course last winter one of the great lectures we got was on the (as the professor put it) symphony of hormones in the menstrual cycle. One of the points she mentioned was that there are certain spike-y points in the cycle where libido tends to be a lot higher, and that, for a lot of women, that’s when they’re more likely to be in a “go for it” mood.
This is sort of rhetorical but does anyone here have that experience either for themselves or their partners?
Another thing she mentioned, and I’ve heard a lot of other women mention as well, is that by replacing the normal hormone fluxuations hormonal contraception also eliminates the go-for-it feeling as well with the result that while you can have intercourse more often without fear of pregnancy you’re not necessarily as interested.
This isn’t as rhetorical: have you noticed that either in yourself or with a partner?
So anyway, to the extent that’s a known side effect of hormonal contraception it wouldn’t have been considered much of a problem when it was being developed and introduced 50-odd years ago: men were still considered mostly interested in sex while, as disengaged members of the “no-sex” class, women were considered to be mainly concerned with, or concerned with avoiding, the resulting pregnancies, and so affects on women’s libido just wasn’t as much of a concern. (Given the still-primative state of social attitudes towards consent, even consent in marriage. Still a fuzzy concept for some people by the way!)
Nowadays not so much, sure, but there you go, right? Anyway, I was thinking that if anti-feminists weren’t so male-centric about sex it seems to me that they might be a little less wiggy about opposing hormonal contraception about women. Because (from an abstinence-only, “just say no” point of view) something that on average flattens out women’s libidos ought to be a good thing, right?
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 17:17.
When I was a teenager (before I had any experience with hormonal contraception) I had two spikes per cycle; one around where I'd guess I ovulated, and one near my menstrual period.
My experience with being on the pill didn't have much in the way of spikes, but it also involves a lot of wrestling with severe depression, which has ... libido-retarding properties. So I can't speak to that question with any confidence.
[I'd always noticed those spikes pretty consistently in partners, and yeah, often two of them per month though they're different times for different people. Thanks, Dw3t. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 17:18.
To want to reduce women's libidos you have to acknowledge their existence, so... yeah. It wouldn't matter even if abstinence-only people did, though; their attitude has always been "no concessions," so they wouldn't agree to anything that maybe sort of enabled sex in any way.
The Pill did lower my sex drive, although by no means to zero; I've never experienced any obvious cyclic variations so I can't really answer that part.
[Actually I think it goes beyond "no concessions" to "it's not that hitting it with a hammer won't fix it, its that you need a bigger hammer." When the answer to your problem *isn't* hating everything about women but a whole movement believes passionately that it is, then it stands to reason that their "solutions" will always ratchet in a harsher direction. Thanks, Holly. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 17:58.
The pill kills almost any sex drive that I do have. When I am on the week of blanks I notice my sex drive shoot through the roof. The little bit I have been off it, I can tell that there are peaks and valleys through the month.
[Yup. It sounds like the "problem" is it doesn't affect everyone that way... but when have the anti's been concerned about *effectiveness* anyway? Sounds like it works too well foryou, AC, and while I'm *so* not a healthcare professional I wonder if you checked with your clinician if any of the other reliable methods would take less of a toll on your libido? --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 17:58.
to the rhetorical question, my answer is yes. i've never been very sexually active, but my daydreams/fantasies took a rougher or more primal edge just before i menstruated. also, i tended to be more likely to have a steak or cheeseburger for lunch rather than chicken sandwich or salad from the village inn restaurant by my office.
note my use of past tense--since i've been on the pill i've had VERY little interest in even fooling around, let alone going all the way, and all i crave during PMS is coffee. maybe chocolate.
it does bother me...i mean, as i said, i don't need any help having a low libido, and what's the point of using pills to prevent baby-making when the pills also in a way prevent sex from happening in the first place?
[Which was sort of the point of my post -- it really does seem to affect a lot of people the way it affects you, only that wasn't a consideration back when sex was thought to be something men did *to* rather than *with* their partners. Sorry it gets you that way, Nekobawt. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 18:16.
When I'm on the pill I don't notice less of a sex drive, but definitely a more even one.
It might be marginally lower, but not so much that I've noticed, but it's smoother. The highs and lows are closer to the mean than when I'm not on the pill.
[That leveling out is the effect I'd heard about. Thanks, Vistana. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-06-01 23:14.
I sometimes feel an increase in horniness just before I start my period. But I get a very definite spike about a week after I start...basically just as the shedding cycle 'ends'. I think my body's just relieved to be finished with the nasty stuff.
It seems odd to me that my most amorous days are normally the times when I would be *least* likely to get pregnant, rather than most. I'm extremely phobic of pregnancy and childbirth so that's really a good thing. Maybe it's more psychological than biological for me.
recaptcha words: "butterfly make"
[I think it's odd only if you buy the notion that all sex is for reproduction and therefore any hormonal facilitation (not creation, remember) of libido must be to signal fertility right now, the way "heat" would signal it if humans went into heat. The other thing, of course, is that hormones aren't a one-way street: we can also *influence* hormone productions through *our own behavior.* Both women *and* men evidently get cranky or moody when our particular gender homones are low (progestin in women, testosterone in men) and there's quite a bit of evidence that people do things to boost their levels when they're low. It doesn't fit the sort of simple-mechanism idea most people have about human reproduction but it *does* fit *really, really, really complicated* mechanism idea of general decision-making-capable human behavior. :-) Anyway, I used to be partners with someone who's "lets blow off finals and putting out the housefire and have sex now" spike was always on the second day of her period. Thanks, Albinosquid. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-06-02 06:33.
Oh you have no idea...
When I was on the pill there was a definite drop in libido, which hardly seems fair.
But now that I'm off the pill, when I'm mid-cycle at ovulation and just before my period, things go crazy baby...
[It is unfair in a way that might not be addressed until your partner(s) get a vasectomy and/or a pill of his own. Thanks, norby. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-06-02 07:09.
A lot of people get on the pill when they're in a relationship, right? And at first, yeah, new person, lots of sex ... but after awhile, you get comfortable, you just watch TV ... maybe it's just the general softening of one's urges as they get to know their partner. No one fucks as much as when they first meet, after all. Could that be at least PART of it?
[Yes, definitely, always possible. Women who are on the pill for other reasons, including anticipating a relationship and when going on birth control while already in a relationship report the same problems. Also I remember reading somewhere that by mimicking pregnancy the pill actually changes who we tend to be attracted too. Something to do with genetic histocompatibility that shows up somehow in the way we smell to each other. So yes, definitely part. Not necessarily all though. Thanks, TWG. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-06-02 15:59.
I tend to have a libido spike the week before my period. (As PMS manifestations go, it could be a lot worse.) I was on the pill for about a year. That was at a time when I was first getting regular sex with another person, which gave enough of a zest that any effect on my hormonal cycles were not really noticeable.
[Yeah, the real reason anti's would be opposed is that "flatten" isn't the same as "eliminate" when it comes to Teh Sexual desire. Thanks, Calli. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-06-02 18:32.
I've been on the pill since I was 18 (except for my two pregnancies, and I was pregnant within a month of going off both times--I haven't had a period off the pill in 14 years) and I don't really remember much in the way of highs and lows in the sex drive as a teenager, so I can't really answer the hypothetical.
However, if the pill does tend to decrease sex drive in women, then I should probably not go off it. I tend to be very highly libidinous as it is. Without that evening out and lowering of the libido, I'd probably never get anything done.
[Heh. Based on what I've heard over the years, and from comments here, I think it's more accurate to say it *averages* libido rather than outright eliminates it. If so it sounds like you'd be safe. :-) Thanks, ks. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Tue, 2008-06-03 03:41.
I never noticed (and I was paying attention) any cyclically-correlatable variations in libido either before I went on the pill at 16, while I was on it (nearly all the time from then until mid-30s), or after - I was/am pretty much either horny, or within easy reach of it, most of the time.
It wasn't until my 40s that a cyclic pattern emerged; like other commenters, I have a premenstrual spike - if I absolutely must do something about it, whether solo or with a partner, by golly, it must be about to be that time.
Sunflower
[Thanks, Sunflower. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Tue, 2008-06-03 08:22.
When I was not taking hormonal birthcontrol, yes I noticed a definite difference in libido depending on the time in the cycle. Similar to another commenter, I noticed an increase when I ovulated and again just before my period.
Now I am on hormonal birth control, but not the pill. I am on a shot that is supposed to last 5 weeks (lately I have had problems with it). Again, I agree with another commenter. I have not noticed a decrease in sex drive. If my libido has decreased, the decrease was nominal. It may have smoothed it out, but not really decreased it. I do still feel a spike in sex drive right before my period, though.
[Thanks, Christina. --fl]
Submitted by 2196 (not verified) on Wed, 2008-06-04 08:33.
I can tell when I'm ovulating, because I turn into a raging sex fiend, liable to do crazy things. Then again right before my period starts is another spike. When I was on the pill, I didn't experience such fluctuations, but still had normal sexual desire.
The only medicine that has flattened sexual desire for me was anti-depressant medication and even that got better eventually. (When I first started on anti-depressants it was even worse than no desire - I had plenty of desire, but could not orgasm. I could masturbate all day and nada. To me that was worse than not wanting to have sex.)
[Oh boy, I took an antidepressant for situational depression years ago and I know exactly what you mean! Plenty of interest, everything felt great, no orgasm without *tremendous* and usually solo effort. I actually totally enjoyed sex that way anyway (since orgasms are a small part of the total enjoyment) but yeah, it wasn't much fun for my partner and not the best condition overall. Thanks, Bunny. --fl]