Stacy at I Met a Possum asks the ironic but evidently not rhetorical question “Is there anything that can’t be turned into a ‘sexy’ Halloween costume.”
“Sexy Tin-Man” costume image found at I Met a Possum.
Evidently not. She’s turned up images of a sexy Statue of Liberty costume, a sexy Plymouth Pilgrim costume, sexy defense and prosecuting attorneys and sexy judge costumes, a sexy Wizard-of-Oz Tin-man costume with kicky silver boots, sexy Freddy Kreuger and Jason costumes, and a (kid you not) sexy fried-chicken restaurant clerk costume! Oh, and a sexy plumber-with-butt-crack costume.
The model for the sexy defense-attorney costume is shown holding glasses, which makes it my favorite… but sadly they’re not included in the $52.99 package so never mind.
Which reminds me of that post by the now long-gone Olympia Matisse about the difference between purchasable “sexy” costumes and actual sexy costumes. (And possibly predictably I just realized her analysis — that commercial costumes, like Victoria Secrets lingerie, signifies sexualized but safely not really at all sexual intent — ties in beautifully with the “no-sex” class paradigm.)
At any rate, there being enough time to plan ahead, what’s your idea of the most absurd “sexy job” Halloween costume anyway? And if you instead wanted to be actually sexy, instead of safely “sexy,” what costume (do it yourself or purchased) would you choose?
(For the record the sexiest costume I ever got was a vintage diplomat’s morning suit, a tuxedo-like outfit with doeskin-soft pants with a modest but consipicuous button fly, a Jacard-woven vest, a long but unvented “tails” jacket, a tall top hat and… five-and-a-half inch black platform boots that, combined, made me more than seven feet tall. A pair of fangs I wheedled from a friend who’s dad owned a dental-supply lab and a little gothic makeup and I looked…
Well, to be honest I looked like I evidently usually didn’t. Because that evening at the Halloween bash an amazing number of strangers asked me, humidly, to bite them compared to the number that usually asked me to bite them before or since. Which would be pretty much zero, before or since. (Hmm….)
(Via Neatorama)
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 08:00.
You might enjoy this video, speaking of "sexy" costumes :) It includes classics like "Sexy Pharmacist," "Sexy Mustard," "Sexy Jesus," "Sexy Wolverine," and, of course, "Sexy 1900s Steel Conglomerate Tycoon." Awesome.
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 17:03.
One time I saw people wearing "nudist" costumes - one-piece skintight peach suits with red felt nipples, oversized (but not ridiculously so) plush genitalia, and black yarn pubic hair... not quite sexy, but definitely not "safe".
[Every year in town there's an unsanctioned-but-tolerated naked-bicyclist component to a local festival-arts parade here in town. It irks the parade organizers since for most spectators it highlights, and therefore distracts from, the rest of the event. One year friends of the organizers made fairly spectacular naked-bicyclist costumes (they *are* festival-artists after all) and rode them in the official part of the parade. As you say, not quite sexy (or meant to be) but yeah, pretty spectacular. Thanks, Nightfall. --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 17:52.
I'm still hoping for a sexy godzilla costume, I'm imagining a big mascot-type costume with maybe pasties and a big pink feather fan.
I think it would be brilliant
[Cool idea, Colette. Not at all in keeping with the usual commercial fare. --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 19:20.
I was Lady Godiva my senior year. Long blond hair, me-colored body suit. Haven't freaked out so many people since.
[Very cool idea, Diatryma. I've seen that done and it's surprisingly effective... without necessarily being all that revealing. (Not that there's a problem with revealing, just that it's not necessary for the costume to work.) Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 20:33.
This is sort of a whole different kettle of fish, but my husband was asking me the other day after finding a Halloween catalog in the mail, why exactly there needed to be sexy witch, angel, devil, etc costumes for girls, I'd guess the models in the catalog were tweens. I had no answer.
Where'd you take that picture? I love the texture in the background and the tension in the line of your body.
[I took the picture in my bathroom in natural (ok, ambient) light. I *think* the reason there have to be "sexy" costumes is that "sexy" is short for "sexualized" (e.g. only *looking* sexy) instead of actually *sexual,* which too many people find threatening. Silly, eh? Thanks, Danielle. --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-09-15 20:36.
I might go an unsexy zombie Catholic schoolgirl, to balance out all the sexy nuns. I'm thinking of using plastic insects that look like they're crawling out from under my skin.
I have to say, I adore sexy vampires and sexy pirates!
[Right! Thing about that is that vampires and pirates tend to be sexy, period, therefore cutesifying it with, say, bare midriffs and little plastic teeth or swords the way those commercial costumes do is sort of defeating the purpose. Thanks, P! Also, good luck with the plastic bugs -- I think that's a great idea. --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Tue, 2008-09-16 14:56.
Oh, and one year, I wore my barhopping clothes-- a shirt my sister pronounced 'skanky', a skirt, big fishnets. And a tube of grey and green body paint.
"What are you?" they asked.
"I am dead sexy."
[Heh! Nice one, D. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2389 (not verified) on Wed, 2008-09-17 19:05.
Today at the costume store, I saw a sexy Freddy Krueger. It was called "Mrs. Krueger" and it was a shredded short dress in the style of Freddy's sweater. It was deeply, deeply wrong. (Even before you remember that Freddy Krueger is, in the movies, a child molester.)
[Right, *Mrs* Krueger too. Which I guess makes it a "sexy MILF" costume. Speaking of which, "sexy" costume logic says expect a "sexy MILF" costume soon. As opposed to...? :-) Thanks, Holly. --fl]