Have I mentioned I seem to have very strong willpower in the face of consensual but extraordinary temptation? The trick seems to be… thoroughly enjoy having it.
In comments last week Curvaceous Dee mentioned teasing a partner who was forced to keep his eyes on the road while she caressed herself in the passenger seat. All the way home. I’ve always had a roaringly good time in exactly those kinds of situations.
Of course teasing can go both ways with that. For instance sweet-talking about what you’d like to do to each other if you could only find a place to pull over… and then “accidentally” missing a promising deserted exit or side road? Oh yeah, extending the agony for another few miles… even if that really only means a few more minutes of driving time. Saying “ooh, I think there’s a spot just up ahead where we can pull over and… oh no, too many lights?” Also pretty humidifying.
But of course you don’t have to be in a car to find, or invent, all sorts of opportunities for teasing and denying yourselves. If you’re younger there’s always “not yet, I think your <sibling/parents/sitter> hasn’t <left/gone to bed/gone downstairs>!” And of course if you’ve got children — and the time and energy left anything but sleep :-) — there’s always “I think I hear footsteps.” And if you’re daft enough to have at-work relationships, well, the opportunities are endless — during normal work hours or after.
And then, obviously, there’s the “haven’t gone that far” phase of new relationships, although the actual, legitimate uncertainties are usually too distracting… not to mention too important… to call it tease and denial.
A couple of caveats. While it’s fun when it’s mutual and cooperative, unilateral teasing isn’t any more admirable than… I dunno… playground teasing. And when it gets wrapped up in the whole “no-sex” class thing it’s a bit too cliché, not to mention stereotype-enforcing to be very cool at all.
Fortunately it doesn’t have to be either unilateral or cliché. Instead it can be… delightfully appetizing. For hours, although preferably not for days.
And the nice thing about playing together, of course, is that when you’re working it together the worst that can happen is… you both lose! Which, when you’re talking about sexual tension, means you also both win. :-)
