Photo by Flickr user caitlinburke. Used under a Creative Commons license.
In a thread on an unknown-to-me website called of Model Mayhem a photographer named Cazee says
I have an interest in shooting male nudes for the female eye. But wondered how far is too far – what crosses the line for most women from erotic to a turn off?
How would I change a fine art male nude into something rather erotic for a woman without starting to tread into “nasty” territory?
do muscles play a more important role? hair? buttocks? frontal implied or full nudes? erections? sexy face?
Or is this genre only for males with that interest?
To which someone else, September Sui, generously replied
The blogger of Real Adult Sex has Half-Naked Thursdays in which he posts erotic pictures of himself. Tastefully done ones. I’m not one for body hair myself, but he’s got such a nuanced eye, I enjoy them. You could start there.
The responses to the original question vary widely. Anyone inclined to lament pressure on women to remove body hair might be interested, though not necessarily encouraged, to note the sentiment seems to be extended to men as well.
It’s funny. Until I was about 25 I had exactly: hair on my chin, my upper lip, my armpits, and a very-curly sort of… mustache of pubic hair. Around 25 the first few hairs showed up on my chest but you probably wouldn’t have noticed till I turned 30. I’ve been slowly filling in ever since.
Since with men it tends to grow in all over I’m not sure where one would, literally I guess, draw the line. In general I kind of like the “happy trail” on my belly. I think it would look funny ending it abruptly where my pubic hair wouldn’t start if I shaved only there, though. As for everywhere else, while at least one commenter opined that beard stubble is a must I’m not sure there’s much of a market for stubble all over.
I do tend to trim my body hair, maybe once or twice a year. Naturally I tend to shave my face every day, and I do occasionally think about giving in and getting it waxed or sugared or lasered or something but…
I think it would make me look pre-thirtyescent. :-)
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-10-13 14:08.
I read through the responses (which might be skewed because it seems likes it's mostly models and photographers who post over there) and I was amazed and shocked by how many had an aversion to male body hair.
I'd like to see a lot less pressure on women to look a certain way, and extending it to men doesn't help, it just neutralizes some of their erotic appeal. (I also totally don't get why most professional male models are overly muscled.)
So dear figleaf, don't you dare do anything to your body hair! Some of us like our men to look like grownups. Some of us love that the happy trail leads to ... well, a happy nest. Or something like that, anyway. :-)
[Yeah, on the strictly mechanical level it's as much "equality" if *everybody* has to shave as instead of everyone gets to do whatever they want but... yeah, that's not the goal. As for the muscles thing, they got into that a little in the MM threads -- I'm pretty sure there's a disconnect between what men prioritize (gay or straight) and what women do. Which was my original motive for posting my own photos -- I figured *somebody* had to try it, even if it had to be me. Which sort of demonstrates my point -- while I knew I didn't have to have big muscles, or keep everything centered on Teh Cock, I didn't imagine the photos would work as anything but an illustration of what would work if I had a different body. As for the fuzz it doesn't much matter whether I like it or not -- maturity appears to continue after age 21... and 31... and so on and since denial doesn't seem to make it stop...? Might as well appreciate those who appreciate it. :-) Thank you, Sungold. --fl]
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-10-13 18:02.
Fig, you manage to infuse a lot of humanity into your erotica and that's a good thing.
[That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my blog, Adela. I'm totally serious. Thank you, it means a lot. --fl]
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Mon, 2008-10-13 23:12.
You said that your main reason for not "giving in and getting [your face] waxed or sugared or lasered or something" is that "[you] think it would make [you] look pre-thirtyescent".
This kind of thinking bothers me. It susggests that body hair (or lack thereof) is the main, if not only, external indicator of one's age, especially when referring to certain areas of the body. In your case you are refering to your face, suggesting that the absence of a little stubble would immediately negate the presence of all wrinkles, laugh lines, etc, that also indicate your age. Might be nice, but it's just not true.
When I told a (male) friend of mine that I shave my pubic area, he said I should stop because it would make me look pre-pubescent (oh, I'm female, by the way). What bothered me about that was that he assumed I shave with the aim of pleasing anyone who might be looking at me there, and he also inferred that any such viewers would share his "it makes you look too young" opinion.
Now, neither of those two things is true. I don't shave for other people, I shave for my own comfort. As for those who've seen it, none of them were bothered by my lack of hair, and not one mentioned any possibility that it made me look at all younger, let alone too young.
Kinda went off on a tangent there, but I just had to comment on, well, your comment.
[Actually you're a woman after my own heart, Z. I think there are a million good reasons not to shave one's pubes if one doesn't *want to,* but I *hate* the argument that "it makes you look prepubescent!" Because shaved or unshaved, adults bodies just never look like small children's. Thus my quip about not looking "pre-30escent" which, as you sensibly point out, is just as arbitrary. So great call, sorry you felt teased. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Wed, 2008-10-15 07:41.
I kind of miss male body hair. My boyfriend doesn't have much above his waistline -- just a few randomies here and there, and he's 31. Sometimes I feel like I would just jump at the chance to run my fingers through a good ol' hairy chest again, but I won't trade in my current model:)
I'm always weirded out when women say that chest hair is "gross." From what I've seen, most guys have it, so how can you find it "gross?" I don't know.
[To be honest I'd rather not have so much hair either because, as I think you've mentioned, there's just more sensation during skin-to-skin contact than skin-to-hair. And I know any number of people with sensitive skin who complain their partner's body hair prickles and/or tickles. But yeah, I'm not sure what to do when someone says just the *idea* skeeves them out. Take heart with your partner, by the way. At 31 I had *visible* chest hair but that's all. It wasn't till my 40s that it started to really fill in, and I'm guessing it'll be the same with him. So good thing you think he's a keeper. :-) Thanks, Watergirl. --fl]
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Wed, 2008-10-15 08:31.
I personally am not really into hirsute types, but that doesn't mean I would encourage any guy to remove all his body hair, mainly because I'm not into the idea of obsessive follicular maintenance for either gender. Caring too much about these superficial details isn't sexy to me, and besides, I don't think anyone has the right to tell a partner how to groom him or herself.
Basically, I think it's ok to prefer naturally less hairy types, in the same way you might be more attracted to, say, people with dark eyes or people with blue or green eyes. To each his or her own, right?
[Thanks, Sabina. --fl]
Submitted by 2437 (not verified) on Thu, 2008-10-23 12:34.
That was me =) (I use that alias for my nude modeling.)
I have no idea why so many people on that site have such an aversion to body hair myself (Candy Poses, now of Don't Ask Me I'm Just A Girl, is a huge exception to the rule there due to superior talent). And I have no idea why there's such an aversion to erotic pictures of men with hair - I suspect Cazee himself suffers from homophobia, judging by his various responses in the thread. I suspect it's due to idealization of youth (which only makes half-sense to me, because two of my exes had body hair and they're fairly young).
But echoing Adela's sentiments, it's also because I enjoy your writing that I love HNT.
[That was you? Cool, Jha, and thanks for your kind words. I agree that actually hearing from the person him- or herself in their own words makes their photos a lot more real. I mean it's all nice and all to hear arteests talk about the light, form and shadow of "the nude" but... you know "the nudes" are flipping people too. Thanks! --fl]