Photo by Flickr user THEfunkyman. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Bad Man of A Bad Man in a Bad Place tackles “the number” question at least as well as I ever have.

And all things being equal, what am I missing? The math never made sense to me – let’s say for the sake of argument, I’ve been with 100 women. I haven’t but let’s say. Are you expecting 99 other men not to have been with those women? Or, put another way, why would my “number” be that much higher than a woman’s? I mean, clearly, I’m a superstud [You better be kidding -Ed. Self mockery is funny… It’s really not -Ed.] but then there ought to be a few women out there who operate the same way I do, no? If I’ve slept with 100 women, surely there are women who have slept with 100 men? And why are they accorded any different treatment than me? That’s what I never got. Why do I get the metaphorical high five, but women get a burka? This makes no sense. Someone explain. Explain on email if you must, if you want to hide your name. Just someone please explain.

What’s the downside of an experienced lover? I lost my virginity to a girl who had been with a few guys before me. She rocked my world. I’ve been with a bunch of women who had been with a bunch of men. And the sex was really good. There is a correlation, I have to assume, between experience and being good at fucking. So why do we look down at “experienced” women? What IS that? And don’t give me the Madonna/Whore piffle, that’s a fine theory but so stupid in practice.

He said it here.

Yup. Pretty frustrating. Nice to see someone else making the case from the outie side. My only minor quibble would be that it doesn’t have to follow that someone who’s had lots of partners is going to be better or at least more comfortable and confident in bed. I mean, sure chances are they will but possible benefits to partners is neither the point nor purpose of experience. As I’m pretty sure Bad Man willould agree, it’s not about them being better in the sack, it’s about nobody ought to care about anyone else’s number! (Incidentally he handles the major objections in a nicely interpolated list earlier in the excerpted post.)

Note also that those objections tend to be overwhelmingly rolled out towards women — for instance people very rarely say “ew, I wouldn’t want a male partner who’s had lots of experience, he might have diseases.” I mean, like, what? Only (hetero) women have cooties? Just like with the HPV question, where only women are supposed to be vaccinated, where the Sam Hill are women getting the cooties from if not equally cootie’d men? (The theory of life emerging by spontaneous generation having been obsolete lo these centuries.)