Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

Final point (for tonight anyway) from Andrea Zanin of Sex Geek post, again in advice about mitigating abuse in the S&M community, but this time relevant to something Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) pay lots of lip service to but… don’t really seem to do very much about.

Remember that not everyone is fucking heterosexual already. Remember that abuse exists between gay men and between lesbians and among trans people of any orientation. (In fact the only person I can think of whom I would blacklist, if I believed in blacklisting, which I don’t, is a lesbian.) Stop talking about abuse as though it were just for top men and bottom women who necessarily play with only each other. This limits the discussion and leaves out vulnerable people.

Read the quote in context here.

Yeah when it comes to abuse “women do it too.” To male and female partners. And more to the point yes, men are often victims of abuse. From female and male partners. Back in the heyday of 2nd-wave and separatist feminism the former was a source of sometimes very angry pre-kyriarchy discourse. Which has been substantially overcome. That some male victims might be in abusive gay or trans relationships continues, I think, to dreadfully hamper the credibility of MRAs attempts to effectively deal with, let alone gain sympathy for, very real male victimization. (Hmm… and yet another example where prior efforts can poison the well for subsequent, more realistic and good-faith efforts.)