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How does one get past high school (at the very latest) without ever learning how to cook? I’m completely baffled.

[My own experiences involving shared housing with freshman college students male and female suggests it’s pretty easy. I think most people learn how to make a couple of simple things — eggs and toast, ramen, quesadillas and stuff from mixes including sometimes even cakes. The intimidation factor for going further is pretty high too, first because it’s not like whatever you grew up with your parents or grandparents serving, second because on usually-low budgets the cost of failure is actually costly, and finally because you can catch endless crap from roommates who might be equally clueless about how to actually cook but who have considerable experience eating. Oh yeah, and at least when you start out the resulting cleanup often is more difficult and takes longer than the actual cooking time. But! Once you get over that first hurdle it gets easier. It’s just the first hurdle that seems pretty high… until you get over it. Thanks, Sabina. —fl]

I got past high school and college and my first job and most of my second without learning how to cook. I mean, yes, pots were occasionally used, for mac and cheese or hamburger helper or to heat up a can of soup. But I wouldn’t call that cooking. Lots of sandwiches and of course eating out, everything from bagel places to chinese food.

The first time I really started cooking was when I went on a low-fat diet kick several years ago. That’s when I started actually reading a few recipes and cooking things. It was really awkward for me, but after a while it got a little better. But when I decided the low-fat diet wasn’t working for me, I mostly went back to my evil ways.

Fast forward to early this year, when I decided to kick gluten and several foods out of my diet as part of dealing with my GI problems. Almost every meal I’d been eating was out of the picture. I had to learn to really cook, from scratch, and not only that, I also had to learn to modify recipes to adapt to my dietary needs. It was scary and awful at first, but now, after more than half a year of it, I am getting pretty good, not just at following recipes but at improvising. If I have some type of food, I’ll often open up The Joy Of Cooking, read through a few recipes, and then do my own thing after getting an idea of what sorts of approaches work with that type of food.

How did I get to be 30 before really learning to cook? My mom took care of everything when I was a kid, and while in theory she wanted me to learn, in practice she wanted to do everything herself because having me involved slowed the process too much. I am a hands-on learner; watching didn’t do it for me, and besides, I preferred the types of tasks Dad did, so I would usually get out of helping mom with cooking or cleaning by doing something with Dad.

I always had enough money that eating out was a legitimate option, and I always felt busy enough that ordering food to the house or takeout seemed like a good plan.

Now, I actually enjoy cooking, at least some days, and I’ve turned into a total foodie. I love watching the food network and I love curling up with a cookbook, especially one with shiny pages and lots of full-page pictures.

Wonderful story, Monique! A lot of people seem to be knocking the site I mentioned but I still think that first time is the hardest. It gets easier, doesn’t it? Thanks. —fl]