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Finding the Right Fit

Tue, 2008-12-16 20:18 — figleaf

I mentioned earlier that I’ve noticed more posts about breasts than usual this week. Here’s another good one. F.F. of Feminist Finance, in a continuing series called “How to Care For Your Clothes” says

I will break the ice by telling you a somewhat embarrassing story about myself. Hi, my name is feminist finance, and I wore the wrong size bra for about 15 years. I bought bras based on the size I thought I probably ought to be. My breasts weren’t small, but I didn’t think they were especially big, either. I am not quite sure who or what I was comparing myself to, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was, oh, boob-fetishizing culture at large. So, not so big and not so small: a B-cup sounded about right based on that description. So that’s what I wore from the start of high school until the very recent past.

Ding, ding, ding, guesswork and habit is the wrong way to buy a bra. My idea of what I looked like, and consequently what size bra I should be wearing, didn’t match reality. ... But dysmorphic thinking can take a lot of different, less extreme forms, and the form it took for me was thinking that because I didn’t look like a Hooter’s poster girl that I could not possibly be larger than a B-cup. That is also the form it apparently takes for a lot of the women who appear on Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style (I’m such a sucker for Tim Gunn ), who says that in all the episodes of filming that show, he has never worked with a woman who was wearing a correctly sized bra. It’s not necessarily about body hate or even mild body dislike, but it is always about unreality.

... It wasn’t enough of a prompt that I always had to wear a sweater over my button-down shirts because they would gap and pucker across my chest. I thought that was just an occupational hazard of buying cheaply made stuff. It wasn’t enough that I could sometimes see the outline of my bra through my sweaters where my breasts were spilling out over the top of the cup. I thought maybe my sweaters had shrunk. ...I decided that just for shits and giggles I would swing by my friendly neighborhood department store lingerie department. It was there that I learned that I have probably not been a B-cup since early in puberty. Me and my properly supported 34-D’s can now quite happily wear the exact same button-down shirts that used to make me swear and foam at the mouth.

She said it here.

I strongly endorse f.f.‘s recommendation that women get fitted by someone who’s trained to do it, even though I don’t have breasts, because just before I moved to the northwest young I worked briefly with a young woman from a fairly rural area who’s starchily conservative, religious mom happened to sell foundation garments out of her home. And while she very strictly managed her daughter’s relationships (“so… exactly what are your intentions with my daughter?” “Um, I’m mostly giving her rides to work since she doesn’t drive”) she was absolutely relaxed and almost, well, evangelical about breast care. And so on the few times I had to wait for my coworker to get ready I got a living earful of not-immediately-applicable information about the importance of breast examinations, the merits and demerits of underwires, the proper adjustments of straps, changes in breast size over the course of menstrual cycles, and quite a bit about the arcane system whereby bra size is determined. And, as f.f. discovered, just how much a correctly or incorrectly sized bra affects the fit of one’s clothes.

The main upshot though being, yeah, especially considering how expensive they are and how much they affect comfort, fit, and even health, it’s really a good idea to get properly fitted before you buy bras.

Update: Doh! I should have added “...if you intend to buy or wear them.” Which not everybody does or should or needs to or wants to, and which some people say one ought not to.

Tue, 2008-12-16 22:54 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

“Properly” fitting bras still suck. I followed the directions I saw on the internets and they told me I’m a 36C. Some stupid shit about measuring ribcages and adding or subtracting some number and measuring boobies and adding or subtracting from first number. Like basing it on the actual measurements would be too insulting or something. Wore 36C bras. Felt like crap. Shoulder pain all the time. Went to Victora’s Secret. Got fitted there. Still said I am a 36C. Bought bra. Still sucks. Hurts shoulders all the time. Discovered secret – DON’T NEED BRAS. Happier without them. Correct size bra is – NONE. Bras suck.

[Hi Plymouth. The system’s even stupider… or at least weirder… than that. And it’s still about three dimensions short of what’s actually needed. And yes, definitely, since hardly anyone on the planet wore a bra before the beginning of the 20th Century, and since most still don’t, it’s obviously not necessary. And while almost everyone I know who plays sports wears sports bras even if they don’t otherwise, that’s a bit of a special case. Anyway, in part because the sizing system is so screwed up, and insufficiently precise, if you’re going to wear them it’s a good idea to get them fitted by someone with a ton of experience who, allegedly unlike a lot of people at Vicky-See, know what they’re doing. Because, yeah, if you don’t they can wind up being a lot less comfortable, and less healthy, than going with out. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 00:00 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

YAY! Bravissimo, Fig! I’d like to point out that not only should women be FITTED for bras (professionally), but they should also hit a (department) (bra) store and try on SEVERAL DOZEN styles.

I do wear the right cup size, but my band size had changed through weight up-and-downs. Just the simple act of going to the store and trying on 15 bras yielded WONDERFUL results.

[Yup. Just relying on the cup/band size marked on the label is sort of like relying on the shoe size marked on the box. It doesn’t say enough about their shape vs your shape. Thanks, DN. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 01:21 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

Gosh, none of my bras fit; I should probably take this advice.

My problem is that I have small/medium breasts on a huuuge chest. Barrel chests run in the family and unfortunately bra-makers seem to assume that women with large chests will also have large breasts. So it always seems to be a choice between boobs hopelessly lost inside giant cups or straps digging into my sides. Vanity usually steers me towards the digging and that’s no fun.

Next time I go shopping I’m gonna get fitted.

[Yup. Especially if you’re not one of the totally conventional sizes you’re (supposedly, according to the mom in bra sales) better off getting help. And usually the best places are older, larger department stores where they’ve got a big selection and experienced staff. Good luck, Holly. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 01:44 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

It’s a bit more complicated than that… some womens’ bust sizes change significantly if she gains or loses even 10-15 lbs. Also, there are some who suspect that bras significantly increase the chance of breast cancer, but as far as I know there isn’t enough evidence to prove that one way or the other. It might only be certain types (underwire?) or badly fitting ones, or some other factor only indirectly related to it.

Anyway, why wear them in the first place? Bras were invented by men and pushed on women by men. They do not prevent sagging, that’s just an old wives’ tale. If you don’t wear one, nipples may show through your clothes, which look “slutty”, yet a properly fitting bra provides uplift and cleavage, which also looks “slutty”. Okay, supposedly it can help keep large breasts from bouncing around too much if you’re really active, but beyond that I don’t see the point.

[My running and soccer-playing friends say sports bras make all the difference in the world. But like you say that’s a special case. And yeah, it’s a major nuisance that people get so riveted about nipples. I understand that they’‘s attractive, but then faces are attractive and naked and we don’t freak out about that. So I’m guessing in a way it’s about novelty when we see them through clothes. That and the “oooh, you’re a slut if you don’t wear a bra” really is dumb. Especially since early on (during, say, the “sweater girls” fad) you were considered a slut if you did. Thanks, Nightfall. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 11:18 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

I would love to see you address the myth that bras prevent sagging. Whenever I try, I froth at the mouth and start spouting nonsense about unexamined misogynist social standards and the sexualization of an unrealistic body image.

I keep encountering it, even among otherwise sex-positive and clueful people. Is it that most Americans just don’t know what real bodies look like? Or are they in denial because real breasts look so different from the plastic they’ve come to expect, that they assume different shapes can’t be natural, healthy, or (because all women aspire to embody it!) sexy.

See… there I go again!

Back on topic: bra-freedom may be my favorite part of stripping! I have never had a comfortable bra. But to go mostly bra-free, my whole wardrobe had to become consciously styled around nipple coverage — vests over shirts, tank tops under, lined bodices on my dresses, etc. It was hard. And despite my best efforts, bralessness still leads to moments of social awkwardness in dressing rooms, hot classrooms, etc. I would never suggest that someone ought to go without a bra. I do wish women felt safer/more comfortable making that choice.

[Oh yeah. As a former (still?) hippie who went to a high-hippie-ratio college bras were definitely an optional and sometimes even questionable accessory. And yet somehow we all managed to walk around without our eyeballs falling out of our heads. (I remember a partner with relatively large breasts and very large nipples saying her mom kept telling her “if you won’t wear a bra can’t you at least put bandaids over them?”) What. Ever. Sorry you can’t feel comfortable just wearing what you want, Calico. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 12:42 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

Bras and their issues is a topic I can fill several pages with but I’ll spare you that and go with brief. They suck, but for most women they are necessary and there are no viable alternatives.

[Yup. Pages and pages. Thanks, Adela. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 12:48 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

As a suffering G cup I will tell you straight out they can reduce sagging which is painful as all hell and does cause long term soft tissue damage. Not every one gets pert solid breasts, often there is no choice.

[Yup. It’s more complicated than the old “pencil test” from the 1960s, but sagging notwithstanding a lot of people, especially past 30 or so, find they can be a lot more comfortably physically active with than without. Thanks, Adela. —fl]

Wed, 2008-12-17 13:53 — 2579 (not verified) #permalink

Something that no bra fitting seems to consider is that breasts come in different shapes, round, mound, oblong and bras not so much.

[Weird how there’s been a revolution in making shoes that fit all kinds of people’s feet in the last 30 years but not so much for bras. The Wonderbra-style innovations being innovative for one thing, sure, but still, no accommodation for variations in shape, placement on the torso, and, and, and. Thanks, Pearl. —fl]

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