For those who’ve done both, is fellatio any harder or easier than cunnilingus? And/or more or less enjoyable?
The question popped into my head halfway down an aisle at the grocery store while I was doing my weekly shopping. I’d been thinking about that Em & Lo wise-guys either/or question post about intercourse vs. fellatio and…
...it suddenly occurred to me that since most of my partners, especially when I was younger, tended to like intercourse but love cunnilingus I wonder if maybe it’s no surprise that so many men tend to say… they like intercourse but love fellatio. Men’s and women’s preferences being, folklore notwithstanding, more alike than different that would make sense.
So anyway, while in retrospect it seems like there are a lot of other considerations, the first thing I thought was that probably depends on whether fellatio or cunnilingus is objectively easier or harder than the other.
Rather than guess I thought I’d just ask. So…
If you’ve done both, is one any harder or easier than the other? And/or more or less enjoyable?
Thanks.
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Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 12:09.
I'm a relative newcomer to cunnilingus, and old hat at fellatio.
Possibly only because of my lack of practice, I find cunnilingus harder. My tongue gets sore too quickly, there seems to be less variation in what I'm doing (that one I strongly suspect is due to n00bishness) and it's harder to tell when to stop.
Now, I do still remember my first attempts at giving a blowjob, and my jaw got sore mighty quickly then. And I'm inexperienced at reading women. So it's quite possible that those differences will fade with practice.
As for enjoyable? Both pretty much rock my world.
[Thanks for the great answer, Vistana. I'm familiar with the sore neck and tongue from beginner cunnilingus. And I've heard about sore jaws from beginner fellatio. But it does seem that if both parties are in agreement about what's going to happen then yeah, it seems to me they'd be pretty equivalent. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 12:10.
Cunnilingus has always been more difficult for me because it seems to require more technique. Obviously fellatio is better from one who is skilled, but in the absence of skill, the guy can generally just thrust in and out of one's mouth until he comes. If a girl is dissatisfied, she can give you helpful hints, but she can't really assume control of the moment in a way that ensures orgasm. As to preference, I don't really have one. Both are fun, and the pros and cons of each balance out.
["Both are fun, and the pros and cons of each balance out." That's the impression I'm starting to get. Thanks for letting me know, Marie. --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 12:21.
I have never found one any more difficult than the other, save that there was a while way back when fellatio sometimes triggered some sexual abuse stuff for me, which obviously presented some challenges.
But the sheer physics of the thing? For me, they're different, for sure, but the same diff when it comes to ease and/or difficulty. Enjoyment? Not so sure I can separate that by nothing but activity, because that tends to be more about who I'm doing it with and for and what the given dynamics are like. But all in all? I'd come out pretty much neutral there, too.
[Cool. And while I was talking about strict mechanics I agree it's not as easy as it sounds to separate acts from individuals in real life. Also, yes, if one act is triggering in a way another one isn't that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish. Thanks for the insights, Heather. --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 13:27.
I find fellatio easier than cunnilingus for two reasons:
1) I have a lot more practice with fellatio.
2) There's a lot more for me to work with. ;)
[See, this is why I had to ask. I'd have said there was more to work with with cunnilingus. Thanks for the insight, Zula! --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 17:00.
In my experience, fellatio is harder for me to perform, but my partner tend to enjoy it more. I tend to enjoy performing cunnilingus more and it is less strenuous on my mouth, but I've had a more difficult time getting a partner off that way. That's probably because of lack of practice. While most of my female partners have enjoyed oral, they'd just prefer intercourse, which was always fine with me. Another possible item of interest is that in my experience, men have been better at performing fellatio on me than women.
[Good to know, Badger. Thanks for your perspective. I appreciate it. --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-02-23 17:16.
I'd have to say it's apples and oranges. Different action, different mouth position. They're so different that it's not really possible to deem one or the other easier or more difficult.
And you can't measure by a partners reaction because it's so subjective. Some get off nearly as soon as a mouth touches their privates. Others have trouble with it.
My enjoyment comes primarily from my partner, and is not measured by whether or not they cum but rather whether or not they enjoy my mouth.
[Nicely put, Eve. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Tue, 2009-02-24 10:02.
This is not a dumb question but rather a very interesting one.
[Hi Sugarmag! Not dumb at all in particular because I really didn't expect the answers to trend the way they did. I mean *I* thought they'd be closer to a wash or that there'd be a slight bias towards fellatio just from imagining the mechanics of it all. But I didn't think so many people would agree. I especially thought there'd be more concern about guys who push but... all the answers gave me the impression it's less of an issue (either because it's not as common or it's not as bad or it's more easily stopped) than I imagined. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2729 (not verified) on Tue, 2009-02-24 21:41.
I have found that, for me, both are pretty much the same. I have a harder time finding a position that works with my neck and back issues these days, with cunnilingus, and a harder time with duration during fellatio, mostly due to jaw injuries.
Before my body got quite so interesting, I found them about the same in difficulty.