Photo by Flickr user amanky. Used under a Creative Commons license.
Jessica Valenti of Feministing rightly mocks an “ex-masturbator” clothing line from a group called Passion for Christ Movement. (They also have shirts and sweatshirts that say “ex-slave,” “ex-diva,” and “ex-fornicator.”)
From their promotional material a testimonial from one of the ex-masturbators begins…
Two things I’ve come to know about masturbation is this:
1. It brings shame, and…
It doesn’t really matter much what number 2 is. In recent decades both a) not wearing fur and b) wearing fur have brought shame. In recent decades both a) nursing an infant and b) not nursing an infant has brought shame. Shaving one’s body hair brings shame. So does not shaving one’s body hair. Same with gastric bypass surgery(?!?) Same with having a cell phone. Definitely same with cunnilingus (compare the 1960s and 70’s) and fellatio (compare the 1970s with the 2000s.) Mental illness used to be dreadfully shameful, not just to the individual but to their entire family. Now it’s not. Cancer, for reasons that escape me, used to be almost as shameful. It hasn’t been for years. Soap companies want to make it shameful that you don’t use their soap. Teeth-whitener companies shame you for not whitening your teeth. It used to be shameful to have ring around the collar… and for all I know may still be. Before the great depression it “brought shame” for women to work outside the house… then through World War II it wasn’t… and then it was… and now it isn’t. Heck, until Inauguration day 1961 it was shameful for a man to go outside unless he was wearing… wait for it… a hat! And as recently as Sept. 1, 2008 it was shameful for one’s daughter to have a baby out of wedlock… until the people most inclined to shame out of wedlock birth decided it was hunky-dory and maybe even lucky, plucky and heroic.
And what do all those things have in common? All those things were shameful till someone decided they weren’t. And in all those cases shame was what? A social construct. And no, not the post-modernist/deconstructionist construct I mean constructed construct: a collective and alterable public decision.
So… should anyone feel ashamed about masturbation? Duh, no. Should anyone feel ashamed for not masturbating? Duh, no. Just like stupid is as stupid does (gee, why did that aphorism come to mind?) so shame is as shame does.
Does anybody who says yes to either of the above have a shred of moral authority? Duh, no.
The sin of pride being no less deadly than the sin of gluttony it’s hard to ascribe moral authority for anyone claiming that salvation lies only through mortification… let alone bragging about it.
Submitted by 2693 (not verified) on Wed, 2009-02-04 18:32.
If you wore one of those shirts in public I'm pretty sure I know which direction the shame would go in.
Nonetheless I'm struck with an almost unbearable urge to buy one of these shirts and wear it in highly ironic situations.
I'm not sure at all what to make of a black guy wearing an "ex-slave" shirt, it definitely puts a different spin than I expected (and maybe than they intended?) on the message.
(No, the store also shows a non-black woman wearing one, so definitely not their intent, they're just talking about "slave to your desires" blah blah.)
[The idea of people wearing them in non-ironic situations is kind of squicky. Thanks, Holly. --fl]
Submitted by 2693 (not verified) on Wed, 2009-02-04 21:33.
Shame isn't a concept I can understand very well. I mean, I know the dictionary definition. But it's not something I seem to be personally capable of feeling. Nor can I seem to get how it could actually be a generally useful or meaningful emotion, anymore than something like "xlfgwtz" - a term I just made up meaning "the negative feeling resulting from seeing a monkey eat a potato". I'm not sure if that makes me defective or lucky.
[Oh I understand shame pretty well. It's sort of a public version of guilt. What I *don't* understand is how something like masturbation would be *shameful.* Pedophilia? Yes. Heroine addiction where *you decided to try heroine?* Sure. But *masturbating?* That's like being ashamed of metabolism. Thanks, Nightfall. --fl]