Whatever you think about contraception, abortion, or adoption you probably want to read a guest post from an anonymous birth mother over at Milissa McEwan at Shakesville.
It’s pretty hard to decide where to begin excerpting, and besides you should probably just grab a box of tissues (for tears) and a leather strap (for gnashing your teeth in fury) and read it yourself. It’s very powerful. And, judging from comments, a real eye opener for a lot of people.
The upshot is that for all the useless blather coming out of the “pro-life,” pro-adoption community they — surprise! — don’t give a rat’s butt about birth mothers after they’ve “relinquished” their newborns. There’s virtually no support, no encouragement, and pretty much zero follow-up or acknowledgment. Despite considerable evidence that it’s… persistently and systemically traumatic. (Trivia: virtually all “counseling” begins, and ends, with reassurances that having “replacement babies” as soon as… you’re old enough to get married legally, of course… will make it all grand again. Trivia: Up to 60% of birth mothers never voluntarily become pregnant again.)
I completely understand why the “pro-life” side of the aisle keeps their lip zipped about this — if word got out rates of voluntary relinquishment would plummet. (Especially today when the stigma of keeping a child is so much lower and the support infrastructure for doing it is… relatively anyway… so well developed.) I’m sort of curious why it’s such a surprise on the progressive, pro-choice side of the fence though.
I can’t be the only person in the blogosphere who knows someone who’s surrendered a child to be raised by strangers, or to know the effect it’s had on them.
There’s certainly room in the world for adoption, and I know some darn solid parents who’ve been conscientious and clear as you can possibly be. And some rock-solid reasons why it’s sometimes not only necessary but a good idea. But adoption being superior for the birth mother (and father?) Especially considering all the hand-wringing about abortion? Once again, here’s that link.
Via Echidne.
See also:
- Bridget Crawford: Krawiec on “Price and Pretense in the Baby Market”
Submitted by 2783 (not verified) on Wed, 2009-03-18 14:47.
Oh Fig...all that matters to those people is that the baby is born. The baby redeems that woman,( you see)so she no longer is in need.
She needed to close her legs, abstain, use protection, think of the poor baby!!
But since she did not, then giving birth will cure her of her angst and woe. Bringing the baby to the arms of others is her therapy.
They are relentlessly, rampantly, unapologetically pro-birth.
Life has nothing to do with their passions.