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Decision and Respect

Mon, 2009-04-06 22:48 — figleaf

A shorter version of what I’ve been trying to say about the issue of consent.

We’ve been spending a lot of time (necessarily in the historical and current legal and social systems) emphasizing the importance of respecting the decision. That’s great. And, even if at a glacial pace, people are learning to at least deploy the language of respecting that.

The next step is emphasizing the importance of respecting the decision makers! In a system that often only grudgingly acknowledges that objects of sexual desire are human beings we haven’t been doing a lot of that.

It’s important to respect the decision; it’s critical to respect the decision maker.

Tue, 2009-04-07 00:37 — 2828 (not verified) #permalink

It has taken me a while to grasp the idea you’ve been talking about, but I think I get it now, mostly. That’s probably because it’s a very tangled topic to tackle, as a comment on a previous post of yours said. Based on my understanding of the idea you’re putting forth, I like what you’re saying, and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts about consent vs. decision.

Also, awesome blog in general! I’ve been mostly lurking for a few months, but I wanted to let you know that you’ve given me a lot of food for thought. Thank you!

[Thank you Eve! It’s taken me a while to grasp it too, but I agree that getting past the 3rd-personing of consent is a big, big step! And thanks for your kind words about my blog. —fl]

Tue, 2009-04-07 10:01 — 2828 (not verified) #permalink

this last post says it most clearly and succinctly…everything would fall into place if that first respect (for the decision maker) is foremost.

[Thank you, Lush. Sometimes it takes me two… or eleven tries to say something I feel sure about but haven’t yet worked out all the details. —fl]

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