Although I’m more partial to quoting irrelevant bits of Gilbert and Sullivan this Monty Python dinosaur seems appropriate to my recent spate of ejaculation-during-PIV-intercourse posts.

Customer A:
Morning,

Waitress:
Morning.

Customer A:
What have you got?

Waitress:
Well, there’s
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.

Customer B:
Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:
Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam
That’s not got much spam in it

...

Customer A:
Why can’t she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?

Customer B:
That’s got spam in it!

Customer A:
Hasn’t got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?

Customer B:
Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?

Waitress:
Yeeeeeccccch!!

Customer B:
What do you mean ‘yeeeccchhh?’

...

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with spam.

Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with spam! It’s basically just pork sausage steamed with juniper berries, and made fresh instead of canned, and partnered with the right dishes and libations, it’s marvelous.

So it’s not that there’s anything wrong with spam, it’s just that assuming every meal has to have spam in it, trying to work “different” approaches that… still end up with spam in it… that it doesn’t even count as eating if it doesn’t have spam in it… sounds, um, familiar. :-)