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Here are my rough, non-verbatim notes from Cunningminx’s excellent ice-breaking presentation “Internet Famous / Conference Shy.” The notes are necessarily incomplete during audience-participation sections. Finally, because I arrived a few moments late I missed part of the introduction.

Language note: Minx uses the ominous-sounding term “stalking” in the OKCupid sense of being interested in or curious enough about to want to know more about or to meet someone you know only online. (In real stalking there’s obviously no such thing as “stalking politely.”)

First, here’s the session description from the 2009 Sessions page.

Are you great on a keyboard, but overwhelmed by the time you get to the registration desk? Are you charming on Twitter but glued to the wall at the opening night party? Sometimes internet abundance doesn’t translate well to having a great time at that conference. From wildly famous sexperts to curious wallflowers, from keynoters to first-time guests, conference experiences might not easily translate from the keyboard. Find out how, with just a little preparation, you can have the best possible experience at your next con.

Session leader: Cunning Minx

How do you stalk politely?

• Check blogs and their other sites
• Leave comments
• Follow twitter

• Google for other social-media connections

Be organized

• make a list of who you want to see
• and what you want to talk about with them
  • name/alias
  • organization
  • blog/twitter topics

• recent events attended

What can I do to be stalkable/open?

• Write best work before the event (most interesting to/about you)
• Be yourself, be interesting
• Reach out via blog, podcast, Twitter
• Use the event #hashtag for Everything
• Blog/Twitter about folks you do know
• Find out/ask who’s going

• What you’re excited about

Join the conversation

• Mailing list
• Listen first — take a week to listen to what others are talking about, so you know what is and isn’t… topical.
• Answer questions (if you really know)
• Ask questions
• Post a pic to Facebook group
• Post to Facebook wall
• Continue interesting conversations with individuals off list

• Be a real person

Mailing list don’t

• Don’t use as a dating service

As you pack

• Make sure you’ve got all your equipment with you
• Including chargers and cables
• And extra batteries
• On the other hand, asking to borrow a power cord is a great ice-breaker
• Bring fresh business cards w/ name/pseudonym, TwitterID, blog, cell-phone or texting
• Backup your laptop

• Give current partner some loving

During the conference

• turn twitter notices on mobile device
• be stalkable
• be your “party self”
• Post about all the fun you’re having
• If you show faces do a pod/vidcast
  • seesmic.com

• audioboom.com [Couldn’t find working link. —fl]

Starting a conversation

• Statement
  • I just went to…
• This is my first…
• Disclosure about yourself (“I” statement)
• I think…
• Invitation (opportunity for them to say)

• What do you think about…?

Conversation Starters

• Which session are you going to?
• Oh, I missed that, how was it
• Going anywhere for dinner (be specific
• What do you do at XXX
• How did you find out about YYY

• Did you see the season finale of ZZZ? (Battlestar Galactica, good example — kind of random, good break-out-of-conference-mode question.)

Say what you want

• I’d like to present/scene with you tonight (Can’t get what you don’t ask for — they’re not telepathic)
• I’d like to get to know you better
• I’d love to hear you scream

• Point being — get it out there out loud so they can respond

Practice believing in yourself

• If you get emo get yourself out of it by… asking/outreach to pull yourself back into “party” space
• Say fears out loud

• “Egging on” exercise — you vent, they agree instead of saying “oh no.” Point is you can end up laughing about it instead of resisting their resistance.

Take care of yourself

• Adopt a policy of
  • Trying new things
  • meeting new people
  • having new experiences
• no regrets (you won’t enjoy everything you try, e.g. the 9-star tofu faux chicken-liver appetizer everyone else at dinner said they liked.)

• Decide you will kick ass