This post is a follow-up to a a couple of previous posts about male ejaculation outside the man’s partner’s body in general, and outside the heterosexual man’s partner’s vagina in particular, as a means to decrease the likelihood of fluid transfers that could result in infection transmission or pregnancy when pregnancy was not desired.
In those previous posts I misused the word “withdrawal,” which most people see as a brinksmanship-y technique where the man gets as close as he can to orgasm during intercourse and then, somehow, clearheadedly pulls out in such a way and in enough time for his otherwise hands-off ejaculation to occur such that no semen comes in contact with her vulva, let alone is released inside her vagina.
Most people, it turns out, have the right impression. My impression was that “withdrawal” meant having intercourse as a form of caress but using other means altogether — such as manual, oral, self-stimulation, toy stimulation — to reach male orgasm.
So, while I still think it’s fine for men to come inside, especially when invited to do so by their partners, and while I still think it’s even nicer not to make that the default assumption about how men “should” have their orgasms, and while I still think ejaculating outside one’s partner’s vagina is a good way to enhance more conventional forms of contraception, and while I still think ejaculating outside one’s partner’s body is a good way to enhance more conventional forms of STI avoidance… I’m going to stop using the word “withdrawal” because it’s not really the same thing at all.
Submitted by 2968 (not verified) on Tue, 2009-05-26 19:17.
WAIT, WHAT? People think the withdrawal method means the guy is supposed to pull out at the last possible second?? & then have an "otherwise hands-free ejaculation"? Well, no wonder people think the withdrawal method doesn't work. No, no. I've never met a pullout method user from back in the day who thought it worked like that, let alone seen a hands-free orgasm of the type you allude to. The way it is supposed to work is, the guy pulls out when he is getting close, then basically finishes up by jerking off (onto his lady companion's boobs, perhaps). I will defer to the superior wisdom of some guy from Vice magazine on this one: "True pulling out means you have to beat it for, like, 15 seconds."
[Emily I'm just *SO GLAD* to hear you say that! "True pulling out means you have to beat it for, like, 15 seconds." Kudos to Vice Magazine. My only quibble (actually it's a pretty big one) is that, unlike maybe 90% of porn, either he *or his partner* could get him over the top. But, one way or another, yes, 15 seconds seems like a sensible... and also humane/reasonable limit. Any closer and, yeah, the risk must skyrocket. Thanks! --fl]