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Speaking of Homophobia

Mon, 2009-06-01 14:18 — figleaf

Another benefit of feminism for men, a tangible one, is the whole business about no meaning no.

Because straight men who get that really don’t have anything to worry about from gay men — who, not being much affected by the impact of the Two Rules of Desire on heterosexuality, are generally perfectly at ease with no means no.

Seems like a real shame that we don’t get that. Because dayumn do we men tend to warp and distort our lives around either not being mistaken for either an object or subject of unwanted male/male desire.

(The dinger for me always being men fearing touching their wives purses or, worse, their menstrual products for fear it’ll ‘make me gay.’ I mean… your wife? And you’re still afraid you’re gay? That’s some seriously deep, seriously dysfunctional social impact there.)

Anyway, general recognition that “no means no” is a universal dictum and not just a male -> female one would make a world of difference in the world of homophobia as well.

Mon, 2009-06-01 17:23 — 2989 (not verified) #permalink

touching your wife’s purse? Seriously? I’d think it more likely that touching a lesbian’s wallet on a chain might make a man gay.

[Seriously. You want to make a lot of men squirm ask them to carry your purse while you run back in to get your cell phone or something. The point isn’t, obviously, that it’ll make you homosexually oriented, it’s that we’re afraid (possibly not without reason) that we’ll get branded as gay, and possibly bashed. Which is, by the way, another huge source of expressed homophobia: fear of being branded as gay and then either being approached by men for sex or else assaulted by men because they’re afraid of “looking” gay. And so on. $%!#%~$ Thanks, Patty. —fl]

Mon, 2009-06-01 20:46 — 2989 (not verified) #permalink

Well, it probably comes from the same type of place where in those primitive tribes women aren’t allowed to touch “menz stuff” (for example, a spear) under severe penalty, perhaps even death if they persist. Apparently there exists a sort of black-and-white mentality where male is male and female is female, period, and cross-gender contamination should be avoided at all costs. Or something like that. It doesn’t seem strictly limited to homophobia, but the two are probably linked.

Tue, 2009-06-02 06:06 — 2989 (not verified) #permalink

I always assumed the purse / tampon thing had more to do with not wanting to look “whipped.” You know, doing favors for your girlfriend or wife or sharing in household stuff that needs to get done being a sign that she controls you to an unhealthy degree.

Tue, 2009-06-02 21:49 — 2989 (not verified) #permalink

sarcasm didn’t you know? gay men are a bunch of transsexual rapists.

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