Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon on one of the paradoxes of relationships.
To call someone a “bitch” for dumping you is to imply that she was wrong and mean-spirited to do so, but the fact that you wield the word “bitch” to describe women who believe they own their own selves is evidence that she was actually a wise woman for getting rid of your sorry ass.
Amanda links the specific sentiment (referencing the intro to the movie (500) Days of Summer, which I haven’t seen) to misogyny but similar iterations of the paradox can be found at the end of quite a few relationships regardless of the erstwhile participants’ gender, orientation, or outlook on life.
An indication of the insincerity of the sentiment often derives from the point that the angered or scorned individual often genuinely wishes their relationship with the accused was still intact.
Complicating (but not, I think, diluting) Amanda’s point, I’d add that proprietary attitudes towards partners isn’t limited to men toward women partners. In English at least, even after a relationship ends we refer to each other as “my ex.” Or (relating this back to the more general version of Amanda’s point) “my ex-hole.” Which is what an old friend used to call hers.
Related: Regina Lynn on how to sever your online connections in How to Delete Your Ex.
Submitted by 3174 (not verified) on Wed, 2009-09-02 07:40.
My preferred term for my last ex is "DoucheBrad," which makes my friend laughs and pretty adequately describes the way he acted for the last six or so months of the relationship. And I certainly don't wish that relationship was still intact! :)