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Jessica Valenti Asks an Elementary Question About Men, Alcohol, and Sexual Assault

Sat, 2009-12-19 01:30 — figleaf

Jessica Valenti of Feministing says

Where is the article directed at young men in college giving the advice on how not to rape their peers? Where are the warnings to men not to drink, since in so many campus rapes, it is the perpetrator who has been drinking?

Read the quote in context here.

I gotta say this is the really, really, really critical part of any solution for ending sexual assault. Because a heck of a lot of the time it’s not just the victim who’s ability to make competent decisions is compromised by intoxication: chances are extraordinarily high that his or her assailant is also compromised.

That doesn’t mean, by the way, that the only solution is to curtail drinking in men. (It’s a solution, yes, but not the only one. Or the most realistic one. Or even necessarily the best.)

Without recognizing the problem and clearly preparing, warning, and otherwise setting expectations for men and their “wingman” type companions, male and female, when they drink? It’s not going to go away.

That wouldn’t be the end of it, no. Not all sexual assault or violence is drug or alcohol-related. But it would be a good first approximation of an 80/20 benefit. And any increase in awareness of drunken bogosity will bring intentional bogosity into much sharper focus.

Update: I should have done the footwork when I was composing this last night but as Heather points out in comments, below, this isn’t a brand new idea. Resources include

I’m off looking for more links about mitigating sexual assault by intoxicated assailants. If you know of any please leave them in comments.

Sat, 2009-12-19 13:17 — Heather Corinna (not verified) #permalink

What would have been even better is if she had looked and linked to a bunch of articles like what she’s asking for some of us HAVE written, though (some of which are included in the comments on that page).

If it’s something you (the proverbial you) want folks to see, taking the time to link up to what we have done would be seriously helpful. Keeping the work those of us have done already invisible, not so much. There are some great initiatives out there (Like Men Can Stop Rape) that could certainly use more attention to that they can become more widespread.

[Teach me to post in haste. I was going to put in some suggestions and links. Now I’ll really need to do so. I’ll include yours plus others I find in her comment thread. Thanks for the head’s up, Heather. —fl]

Sat, 2009-12-19 15:10 — Heather Corinna (not verified) #permalink

That wasn’t directed at you, just FYI, because you have posted links to pieces/work like this before.

It was more about Jessica/Feministing asking a question without delivering some answers they could have very easily. I’d much more have understood asking “Why aren’t there MORE pieces like this?” rather than it being posed as if they don’t exist, which struck me as wildly counterproductive. Because if when all of us do the work, our allies act like it isn’t there and behave as if it hasn’t been done, it gets mighty hard to keep on keepin’ on, you know? Same goes with getting to there being more pieces like this so this approach is more prevalent.

[I sorta figured. I think it’s a good idea though — not just looking at the general problem but at the specific alcohol/assault connection. I obviously don’t have numbers or I’d be citing them but I’ve heard it’s a kind of disturbingly high factor in perpetrators a number of different non-sexual crimes, and there’s obviously no reason on earth why it wouldn’t be even higher for sexual assault. Thanks for the followup, Heather. —fl]

Sun, 2009-12-20 06:12 — QoB (not verified) #permalink

I like these “tips”: clearly tongue-in-cheek, but very pointed;

http://kittenswithmittens.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-not-to-rape-someone.html

e.g.: “#7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.”

[Oh yeah, it’s a great list. I reposted it here, and ought to get it back out again. Thanks for the reminder, QoB. —fl]

Mon, 2009-12-21 15:18 — Jessica (not verified) #permalink

Heather, my question wasn’t so much directed at the feminist work (like the great stuff you do) that’s been done around this. Because obviously there’s been a ton; there are essays in Yes Means Yes that address it, for that matter. The question was about why more mainstream news outlets don’t address the issue of men in rape – but I should have been clearer about that distinction. Apologies that it made you felt as if your work (or others’) was being ignored.

Wed, 2009-12-23 10:37 — Heather Corinna (not verified) #permalink

Jess: no need for apologies, and appreciate the response.

Just think adding some links so that what has been done gets out there more might result in more mainstream venues catching the wave, if you get me. Feministing has great traffic, so it could well be that folks who work in the mainstream see a post like that: if they then can also see some of what’s been done, it could have some influence. :)

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