Posted by figleaf
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Sun, 2010-07-04 21:14
By far the most-popular, most Googled/Yahoo’d/Binged-for post on this blog has been How to find someone’s clitoris (if you don’t already know). I didn’t write it intending it to be a mainstay internet sex-ed resource.
And indeed it isn’t! In Google it’s approximately the 500th reference for the most commonly used phrase, “How to find the clitoris!” 500th! In Google’s default mode of 25 hits per page you’re talking about someone who’s had to click the little “next” arrow roughly 20 times before they’d get to mine!
And yet?
And yet!
Hundreds of people do it every day!
Whatever else you can say about people’s ignorance (and you can actually say a lot) you can’t say nobody cares.
So to celebrate American fireworks day, and to celebrate the fact that it’s a very slow day for posts in the U.S., and to celebrate my standing as the 500th-most-common link on that particular keyword*, here’s the top first 500 (500!) key-phrases people have used to find that page. (500!!!!) Note — to avoid screwing up anyone else’s searches, and to avoid looking too much like spam, I’ve replaced the word and all it’s various spellings, misspellings, and wild-assed guesses with underscores.
# ————————————————————
# Table
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Keyword
how to find the ________
________
how to find the ________
finding the ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find ________
find the ________
find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find a ________
find ________
finding ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find her ________
how to find ________
how to find my ________
how to find her ________
________ pictures
finding her ________
________
how to find the ________
show me the ________
how to find a girl’s ________
show me a ________
show me ________
see my ________
show me a ________
________ erection photos
find her ________
hard to find ________
hot to find the ________
small ________
________ photos
________ pics
finding a girls ________
finding the ________
how do you find a girls ________
how to find the ________
show me ________
find my ________
hard to find ________
how to ________
how to find the ________ on a girl
how do i find my ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find the ________
find a ________
hot ________
how to find a ________
how to find a girl’s ________
how to find the ________ in the dark
wide open ________
best way to find the ________
can’t find ________
________ erection
________ hard to find
________ how to find
________ photo
________ photos
find ________
find her ________
how to find a small ________
how to find the ________ in the dark
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
my ________
show me ________
show me your ________
________ show
________ photo
hot to find a girls ________
how can i find my ________
how find ________
how to find the ________
my wife’s ________
where to find a girls ________
________ finding
do ________ get hard
easy way to find the ________
find a girls ________
finding ________ in the dark
girl ________
how to find a girl ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find girls ________
how to find girls ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________ on a girl
how to find the ________
how to find your ________
how to find your own ________
how to locate a girl’s ________
see her ________
slide your penis back and forth ________ rub head
where is a girls ________
best ________
best way to find ________
can’t find the ________
cant find my wifes ________
________ find
________ on ________
________
________ hunt
does a ________ get hard
does ________ get hard
easy way to find ________
erect ________ photos
erecting ________ photos
find ________
find girls ________
find that ________
finding a girl’s ________
finding a girls ________
finding ________
finding her ________
finding the ________ in the dark
finger ________
girls ________
hard ________
hooded ________
how 2 find the ________
how find the ________
how to find a ________ on a girl
how to find a ________ in the dark
how to find a girl ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find a small ________
how to find ________
how to find my ________
how to find small ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the girls ________
how to find your ________
how to get a ________ hard
how to locate the ________
how to locate your own ________
i can’t find the ________
is the ________ hard to find
mouthing the ________
my ________ is hard to find
open ________
photos ________
photos of the ________
pictures of the ________
show me a real ________
show me how touch the ________ by pics
show me pics of the ________
show me that ________
show me where the ________ is
show your big ________
small ________ photo
tip of the ________
tongue on ________
wheres a girls ________
wife’s ________
“how to find the ________”
“locating ________ with the tongue”
*________
30 year old photos ________ shaved
a girl’s ________
abby winters ________ ________ose ups
abby winters ________ pics
abby winters ________
abbywinters+________
adult ________ women
adult female ________ pictures
adult sex girle ________
asstr licking ________
base of ________
best ________
best ever ________
best way to find a girls ________
best way to find the ________
best way to find the ________
big buts ________ woamen picture
biger ________
boys discover preteen girl’s ________
can a ________ get hard
can u run your tongue down somones ________
can’t find her ________
can’t find my wife’s ________
can’t fnd my wife’s ________
cannot find glans ________
cant find a girls ________
cant find ________
cant find her ________
cant find my wifes ________
chow me the ________ of a girl
________ being erected
________ blog
________ cir________es or back and forth
________ display
________ erect and hard
________ erection photos
________ foto
________ getting hard
________ girl
________ hood hot girl
________ hot
________ magazines
________ owm
________ pictures of girls
________ shaft pics
________ shudder
________ tip
________ to ________
________ vagina adult
________ watch
________
________
________ sex.com
________ medicine airplane
________
________ kiss porno
________ photo
________ sex photos
________ erection photos porn
________ erection pics
________ errection photos
________ et sex
________ exploring pictures
________ find the
________ fingering
________ girls small
________ hard to find
________ in hand pics
________ is hard to catch
________ lick guide pics
________ location photo
________ photo locate
________ real photos
________ sex
________ sex photo
________ the big one
________ where place photo
________ σεχ
________
________ games
________ grow big porm
________ his ass
________ kissing ________
________ vagina
________ose-up lesbian ________ tongue
cunt photos and erect ________
dark ________ pics
dark ________
diagram human vagina ________ erection
discovering a woman ________
do ________ get hard?
doctor checks girls ________ ________ose up
does ________ get stiff
does the ________ get hard?
drawing ________
easier to find ________
easiest way to find a small ________
east way to find the girls ________
easy way to find a ________ on a girl
easy way to find ________ in the dark
easy way to find ________
easy way to pop her ________
educational images woman exploring ________
educational pictures of a ________
educational porn how to find the ________
emily naomi ________ fingers
emma james ________
engorged ________ pics dry
erect ________ pics
erected ________ porn
erectile ________ you porn
erection of ________
erections ________
erections of the ________ photographs
erotic ________ by private
exploring ________
exploring my ________
exploring the ________
fastest way to find the ________
female vagina show me a________
fibd my ________
figleaf real adult ________
find a girl ________
find a girl’s ________
find and show big ________
find ________ dark
find ________
find ________ dark
find ________ fingers
find ________ with tongue
find ________
find ________
find girls ________
find her ________ every time
find her ________
find her ________
find it hard to wax the ________
find my wifes ________
find the ________ everytime
find the ________ fingers
find the ________ with fingers
find the ________
find the ________
find the ________ in the dark
find the ________
find the ________
find the ________
find thé ________
find. a. ________
finding a chicks ________
finding a ________
finding a females ________
finding a girl’s ________
finding a girls ________
finding a older womans ________
finding a small ________
finding ________ big lips
finding ________ in hairy pussy
finding ________ in the dark
finding ________ pictures
finding ________ tongue
finding ________ with tongue
finding girls ________
finding girls ________
finding girls ________
finding my wife’s ________
finding small ________
finding the ________ every time
finding the ________ in the dark
finding the ________ on a hairy pussy
finding the ________
finding the ________ when a girl has big lips
finding the ________
finding the girl’s ________
finding the wifes ________
findng the ________
fing thge ________
finger her ________
fingering ________
fingering the ________
first erect ________
fondling of the girl ________
full screen and masturbating, ________ tickling
full view of naked cunt pointing to the ________ video
g spot & ________ sex secrets
girl ________
girl discovery ________
girl finding ________ for first time
girl finds ________
girl fingers ________
girl measure ________
girl measure ________
girl nibbles ________
girl playing with ________
girl show ________
girl shows how to find ________
girls and ________
girls ________ picture
girls ________
girls playing with ________
girls stroking ________
girls sukn my ________
girls with ________
good ________ picture
google ________ porn
google porn ________
har to find the ________
hard ________ photos
hard ________ pictures
hard ________
hard ________
hard to find ________
hard to find ________
hard to find ________
hard to find ________
hard to find partner ________
hard to find the ________
hard to see ________
her ________
her ________ picture
high school girl ________
hoe to find ________
hooded ________ being opened
hot ________
hot over 30 ________
hot tiny ________
hot to find my ________
hot to find the ________
hot to find the ________
hot to identify ________ in girls pussy
how big is a womens ________ pics
how can i find my ________
how can i make my ________ bigger
how can i make my ________ erect
how can i play with my hard ________
how come it’s hard to see the ________
how do i check my ________
how do i find a girl’s ________ without looking
how do i find a girls ________
how do i find a girls ________
how do i find a small ________
how do i find her ________
how do u find a girl’s ________
how do u find someones ________
how do you find a girls ________
how do you find a girls ________
how do you find a girls ________
how do you find the ________ on a firl
how do you find the ________ on a girl
how do you know the ________ is hard
how find a ________
how find her ________
how find the ________ on a small pussy?
how hard is the ________ to ind
how i kiss or lik the girls ________ with photos
how is it hard to find the ________
how to “find a girls ________”
how to arouse a via ________
how to best find the ________
how to fimd small ________
how to find a ________ in the dark
how to find a ________
how to find a girl ________
how to find a girl ________
how to find a girl ________
how to find a girls ________ quickly
how to find a girls ________ to finger
how to find a girls ________ with out looking
how to find a girls ________ without looking
how to find a girls ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find a girls ________
how to find a old woman’s ________
how to find a tiny ________
how to find a very small ________
how to find a woman’s ________
how to find an unshaved woman’s ________
how to find and rub your ________
how to find big ________
how to find ________ in a girl
how to find ________ in agirl
how to find ________ in dark
how to find ________ in the dark
how to find ________ ina girl
how to find ________ pics
how to find ________ with tongue
how to find ________
how to find ________
how to find ________
how to find ________
how to find ________
how to find ________ pics
how to find ________ porn
how to find ________ tendon
how to find ________ with fingers
how to find ________
how to find ________ with pictures
how to find ________
how to find for her ________
how to find girl ________
how to find girl’s ________
how to find girls ________
how to find girls ________
how to find he ________
how to find her ________ everytime
how to find her ________ in the dark
how to find her ________ without looking
how to find her ________
how to find her ________ in the dark
how to find her ________ forum
how to find my ________
how to find my ________
how to find my ________
how to find my wifes ________
how to find small ________
how to find the “________”
how to find the a ________
how to find the ________ a girl
how to find the ________ easily
how to find the ________ of a girl
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________ in the dark
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________
how to find the ________ ?
how to find the ________ in the dark?
how to find the ________ through panties
how to find the ________ with your finger
how to find the ________
# ————————————————————————————————————————
Happy 4th of July
* The post is actually #1 for the keyphrase “how to find someone’s clitoris” but it’s not all that commonly searched for. —fl
“______________ is hard to
Submitted by ImogenQuest (not verified) on Mon, 2010-07-05 06:18.“______________ is hard to catch” is my favorite by far. I picture it running away on little legs, stopping now and then to taunt its pursuer.
[I should have said not all the entries are directly related to finding the clitoris, nor am I endorsing all of them. (I mostly wanted to pass along my surprise that there could be 500 key phrases leading to that post.) But “...is hard to catch” sounds both goofy and hopeful. Thanks, Imogen. —fl]
There’s also an awful lot of
Submitted by Sungold (not verified) on Mon, 2010-07-05 13:54.There’s also an awful lot of pathos in the list. “How to find my wife’s?” I’m imagining all the sadness, repression, and frustration that could lurk behind those few words.
Ditto for “wide open clitoris,” and the dude (or gal???) interested in waxing it! Maybe this is linked to the poor souls who are confused by a “hairy pussy.” Could this partly explain the waxing trend – the hope that some otherwise benighted partner might be able to find the clitoris, if it weren’t for that dang hair?
Also, the guys who are in the dark or want to find it without looking? I just want to say, “Turn on the light, honey, and LOOK!” You might both find it fun!
FWIW – I wrote a post called “Transformer Porn” that was just a throwaway commentary on, well, its subject, plus the odd thing that kids these days get into when they think their parents aren’t going to check their computer’s history. It’s not my top post, but it’s in the top 10, and this irks me for some reason. Maybe because I know that whoever finds me won’t find what they’re looking for? (No link – you can google that point without breaking a sweat.)
So figleaf, at least you can be pleased that your most-read post is something useful. My “top seller” is Mary Daly’s transphobia. Go figger.
[“There’s also an awful lot of pathos in the list.” Nicely put, Sungold. It’s hopeful, sure, but wow is it a sign of a lot of missing communication! Incidentally, a moment ago I noticed the list ended abruptly in the middle of the letter H. A bit more digging and it turns out there were more than 1,100 search terms that point to that post. Not sure about that transformer porn — there’s bound to be some but sounds like neither of us want to find out. :-) Thanks! —fl]
Oh for goodness sake. I am so
Submitted by Sungold (not verified) on Mon, 2010-07-05 15:57.Oh for goodness sake. I am so frustrated with the comments mechanism! I leave a silly – but still kinda thoughtful comment – and it’s just gone. Into the enter. Kaputt. Same goes for the person who posted before me.
‘Course, I wouldn’t have even noticed, if there were a way to subscribe to comments, instead of coming back to the blog repeatedly. Dunno if this is an issue in your software or a deliberate tactic to drive up page hits, but at the very least it has contributed to me feeling seriously dissed by you at least once in the past. (If you need to jog your memory: My fear of death. Clean MRI. Your congratulatory comment buried so deep in your own comment section – not mine! – that only luck would unearth it again. A subscription feature would let you respond in that casual way without people feeling like – well, like I did.)
One more thing. I am still bothered that Kochanie’s work here has just disappeared into some subterranean place. Even though she’s not hanging around here anymore – for whatever reasons of her own – it would still be a mark of basic respect to highlight her contributions to this blog. Yes, this is mostly “figleaf’s real adult sex,” but Kochanie provided a different perspective that was always humane and reflective, and often erudite. I think the world of her. It’d be nice to see her work receive the credit it deserves. Maybe I’m just one of five or a dozen people who even knows what’s missing. All the more reason to fix the issue.
[Hi Sungold. It’s not a hit-generating tactic (I wish!) Instead it’s about trying to minimize hits to the database, which you’ll recall, were crashing my site several times a day. As for Kochanie’s posts they’re still in there, as are about 10,000 comments that got their identifying information scrambled when I migrated to my new platform. In, as usual, a panic when my old system started to cheese out on me. One of these days I’ll figure out how to restore everybody’s names and links. Frustrating, I know. No more for me than for everyone else since I’m allegedly supposed to be good at websites, databases, and legacy-site migrations. #%!@$~!. Sorry about that. —fl]
And my goodness, one more
Submitted by Sungold (not verified) on Mon, 2010-07-05 16:00.And my goodness, one more time! How is it that posts appear and disappear? They put the Cheshire Cat to shame. It’s not even just comments; it’s often your posts, too, which might show up in my reader, or here, or neither.
As for the transformer porn – I can only say the cockroach was far, far worse. Also: If a transformer has a clitoris, what does it transform into?
[I’m pretty sure the problem is the system that caches pages — it may present differently depending on whether you’re coming from the main page, from a recently-visited (or not so recently) or via RSS. It all goes into the database so I don’t think anything’s ever lost. But the caches clearly aren’t being, well, cleared correctly. I’ll take a look. Thanks for the nudge, Sungold. —fl]
Note: At Sungold’s request
Submitted by figleaf on Mon, 2010-07-05 21:02.Note: At Sungold’s request I’ve added a said-to-be-reliable plugin that gives you the option to be notified if a) someone else comments on a post you’ve commented on or b) only if someone replies directly to a comment you’ve made.
That means I’ll probably start replying to people’s posts instead of editing my replies directly into their comments. We’ll see how that goes. Definitely let me know if/how it works for you.
fl