Karen Rayne of Adolescent Sexuality who teaches sex ed both directly to K-12 students and at the college level to prospective sex-ed teachers, answers a really critical question: why begin teaching sex ed no later than middle school? (Emphasis mine.)
Most middle school students are not yet sexually active. I know I already said that, but it’s really important. Most of the middle school students in my classes are open to conversation – and perspectives that may differ from their own – on many topics. My co-teacher and I are able to broaden their perspectives through thoughtful, age-appropriate activities and discussions in really amazing ways. When I have students in my classes who are more sexually active, they are just not as open to thoughtful discussions because the outcomes of these discussion hold meaning for their own understanding of themselves and their identity.
It is simply far better for young people to discuss sexuality with breadth and in-depth for the first time as a theoretical topic that does not hold bearing on their own sexuality rather than as an emerging sexually active individual who now has a whole new raft of conversations and thoughts with which to evaluate their past decisions and therefore their own identity.
Last night I had a long discussion with my 11-year-old about addiction (she asked.) It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to wait till she reached the age where most children begin experimenting with potentially addictive substances to have that conversation. A few days ago I had a conversation with my 13-year-old about driving consciousness. It probably would be a terrible idea to wait till he was driving to bring it up. And while babysitting has a nice balance of rewards and responsibilities, and is almost completely value-neutral at least in our corner of the world, I’m still going to make sure that before they start they take the locally-offered babysitting classes so they’ll be prepared not only for the entertaining elements (which I’m pretty sure they can figure out for themselves) but also stuff like boundaries, first aid, negotiating with adult caregivers (which I’m dead certain has never once crossed either of their minds.)
Considering the complexity and nuance of sex and relationships, their rewards and responsibilities, and of course their potential consequences, it’s hard to argue that children should learn about it long before they’re more than theoretically interested in doing any of it.
