Riffing off a bitterly tongue in cheek “dating tips for misogynists” post by Jill Filipovic of Feministe* said one sure-fire “qualification” for dating her was “Do you ever end an argument by saying, ‘Are you on your period?’”

And that set me to wondering.

When I was an adolescent, and even though I’d had what would then have been considered excellent sex ed and health classes, it was common to hear men and even women (mostly school-age) say things like “aw, she must be on the rag.” Meaning, of course, that women can be really grouchy when they’re menstruating.

Thing is that in the intervening decades, in contact with menstruating partners, platonic roommates, friends, and even family members pretty much every single one of them who’s been crabby at all on a cyclical basis has been crabby the week before her period, not the week during.

In fact while menstrual cramps were and are common enough*, and obviously no fun at all, pretty much every woman who’s ever discussed it in my hearing has expressed general relief that their period has arrived and their (duh!) premenstrual symptoms disappeared.

Which makes me wonder if that whole “on the rag” business might be a clue that the speaker really has little or no clue about how women’s actual bodies work? (Another common though less barkingly-wrong error is that PMS is the result of being “hormonal.”**)

* Does anybody else here old enough to remember the days before ibuprofen? The days when it was still prescription only? The days when the protocol was you were supposed to start taking it 48 hours before the predicted onset of menstruation? If you ever wonder why school teachers still frequently receive roughly one day of sick leave per month it’s largely because a) once upon a time nearly all school teachers were women and b) before ibuprofen and other modern antiprostaglandin analgesics a huge number of women spent the first day of their periods flat in bed with those old-fashioned red hot-water bottles draped over their abdomens and lower backs. But I digress…

** In fact, just like old men get cranky as their testosterone levels fall, PMS is a product of low hormone levels. But there I go digressing again…

* Note: Jill’s post wasn’t showing up on Feministe when I first referenced it. It seems to be back up now so I removed the might-not-be-there disclaimer I’d originally written.