A reader looking for advice at Em & Lo asked

Dear Em & Lo,

So last night my wife experienced one of her orgasms from G-spot stimulation and, as is usual for her, did not ejaculate. In fact, there is never really a detectable increase in her lubrication during orgasm. I was wondering if this means that she is the type of woman who is not a “squirter”? She has asked me several times why she has never “squirted.” Is my wife capable of ‘squirting’? We’ve used fingers, penis, vibe, and even drinking 2 liters of ‘Squirt’ soda to stimulate her G-spot… Any suggestions?

–Squirtless

Source: Em & Lo

Their answer was, of as usual, just great. But here's my reaction anyway.

We'll leave aside the twin questions a) why is he calling himself "squirtless" and b) what makes her think he's any more likely to have answers about her orgasms than she would? Oh, and possibly c) why does he make it it sound like he's got more judgment about it than she does? We'll leave that aside because it's actually a really common question even for more experienced women and more egalitarian men. So...

The last thing on earth I’d ever want to leave a partner feeling was that they were missing something just because they didn’t squirt.

Because while I’m not the worlds greatest expert on g-spot orgasms I do know that the two partners who squirted were never as floored afterwards as some of the other partners who never did.

Plus with the ones who didn’t squirt you don’t have to get up and change the sheets, but that’s a different matter. (If you’re prepared, or else just really casual, then wet sheets aren’t that big a deal.)

But seriously, what if "squirtless" had a partner who expected him to be able to ejaculate all over her neck, chest, belly, and toes the way some men (seem to) do in porn? He's probably say, correctly, “but quantity isn’t really a very useful measure of how much I enjoy an orgasm.”

Well, it’s almost certainly the same for her. (Plus, if he did come that much then, again, he'd have to get up and change the sheets for that too.)

Update: Doesn't it already sound like they are, or at least she is, having really, really good orgasms already?  And doesn't it sound like they've sort of talked themselves into believing there's something else that's so much better that they've talked themselves (or at least talked her) into not really enjoying the ones she is having very much at all?  So add to the list of caveats, above, d) while it would actually be pretty awful if we didn't enjoy our partner's orgasms, our partners orgasms are not performances undertaken for our enjoyment.