A Prudish Libertine's Thoughts on Jealousy

Posted by figleaf on Sun, 2011-07-17 11:50

One of the things I've learned as a reluctant but sincere monogamist is that a heck of a lot of what we construct as jealousy amounts not to possessiveness but longing.


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Indeed.

Submitted by PattyCake (not verified) on Sun, 2011-07-17 19:30.

Indeed.

Mmmmm, okay.  There's a

Submitted by Jerry (not verified) on Sun, 2011-07-17 20:10.

Mmmmm, okay.  There's a validity to that, yes.  Taken outside the context of the reluctant but sincere perspective, a bit less so, but still basically true.

I think alot of jealousy

Submitted by Rose (not verified) on Mon, 2011-07-18 02:51.

I think alot of jealousy comes from living with a "starvation economy" when it comes to love, sex, and attention.  If we feel that relationships are a  zero-sum game, then any attention our beloved gives anyone or thing else is `taken`from us, and if we feel we don`t have enough, that can feel devastating. 

Can you elaborate on this

Submitted by Ms.Inconspicuous (not verified) on Mon, 2011-07-18 11:44.

Can you elaborate on this please; what you mean by longing?

Hi Ms.I. I started to

Submitted by figleaf on Mon, 2011-07-18 16:51.

Hi Ms.I. I started to elaborate here and wound up turning it into it's own post. And while I didn't really mean it to it winds up pivoting around one of your posts about reading Kundera with a lover. (My own experience with Kundera in college began with The Book of Laughter and Forgetting, and in retrospect it occurred to me that to the extent I'm able to distinguish the flavor of jealousy it's because I read him then. And perhaps to the extent I can't articulate it well is because it's been too long since I last read him. --fl

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