Is the Mainstream Starting to Wake Up (In a Non-Panicky Way) To the Asexuals Among Us?

Sun, 2011-08-21 15:22

Photo by Flickr user davidgljay. Cached as a bandwidth-conserving courtesy
Photo by Flickr user davidgljay. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Via Marginal Revolution, it looks like the mainstream is finally (finally!) starting to notice asexuality.

Here is much more, interesting throughout, hat tip to The Browser.

Source: Marginal Revolution

It's about time.

I love that the image MR author Tyler Cowen chose was of an asexual man. It's neither intolerable nor inconceivable that a man would be disinterested in sex, because there are plenty of examples in history and around the world, plus there's a whole minor literature of complaints by women of their partners "slowing down," of various religious dictates of men's obligations to "provide" or "service" their wives, of men mourning the loss or declines of their libidos, and so on. And the whole semen conservation thing.

There's also whole unusual-in-the-west notion that men are naturally chaste, modest, and moral and instead it's women who should be blamed for promiscuity (though usually because they want to get pregnant, not, heaven forfend, that they're ever just horny.) Which explains why acceptance of Rule #1 makes it seem (falsely) logical that it's women who are most likely to be asexual.

But if it's not inconceivable and intolerable to become a third bogus Rule of Desire it's certainly not a familiar notion that young, healthy, even vital men might ever be disinclined or disinterested.

In reality, of course, men and women seem to be roughly equally inclined to be asexual.

Anyway, asexuals: they're neither straight nor queer but they're here. We'd all be better off if we got used to it.

If only asexuality had been a

Submitted by Ms.Inconspicuous (not verified) on Mon, 2011-08-22 08:04.

If only asexuality had been a "thing" in the mainstream much earlier, it would have saved me a tremendous amount of grief. Because that young, healthy, vital man that I married was a man and therefore supposed to be pestering me for sex--not the other way around. That caused a lot of, "Oh my god, what's wrong with me..." in my mind that wasn't necessary (in retrospect).

It would also stop a lot of (well-wishing) busybodies from suggesting "cures" for said husband's asexual nature. How insulting to have everyone present cures for your natural state of sexuality. As a sexual person, I can't fathom someone trying to "fix" my level of sexuality constantly and continually--I don't see how people think it's okay to do this with the asexual individual.

I am annoyed by asexual

Submitted by Hershele Ostropoler (not verified) on Thu, 2011-08-25 18:25.

I am annoyed by asexual people who imply that my sexuality isn't real, but that's no reason to -- indeed, it's a reason not to -- act as though theirs isn't.

Nicely said, Hershele.

Submitted by figleaf on Thu, 2011-08-25 21:18.

Nicely said, Hershele. Thanks.

I'm curious about the

Submitted by Hedge (not verified) on Thu, 2011-09-01 21:29.

I'm curious about the "asexual people who imply that [your] sexuality isn't real". Could either of you expand? The (few) asexual people that I have known (all on the internet) seem acutely aware of and open and respectful of all orientations and relate to queerness in varied ways. Maybe annoyingly self aware, but otherwise the 'community' seems pretty much 'live and let live.' It sounds like your experiences have been different.

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