Last week I posted a comment I added to Em & Lo's regular "Wise Guys" feature. This week I'm in the rotation as Em & Lo's "straight married" Wise Guy, answering the question...
“What would you tell a guy who was intimidated by the idea of his partner bringing sex toys into the bedroom?”
Source: Em & Lo
Here's how I answered (slightly reformatted since, hey, now it gets to be a second draft):
The dead cliché answer would be to remind him that they’re only called “toys” and “novelties” to get around puritanical blue laws.In reality, you could tell him, sex “toys” are tools for sex. Guys like tools.
But here’s a more original approach: Tell him, if someone brings a Monopoly board into the den it would be a pretty good sign she’d like to play [Monopoly] with you, right? So if your partner brings a sex toy into the bedroom that’s an even better sign she wants to play with you.
Yeah, we men are under a lot of social pressure to feel inadequate or even jealous about... well... all kinds of things. But, seriously, once you give up on the idea that sex is a test it can be a heck of a lot of fun. Whatever you want to call them, sex toys are pretty much always going to make sex even more fun. For both of you.
"Guys like tools." Oh, groan.
Submitted by Irene (not verified) on Wed, 2012-01-25 11:20."Guys like tools." Oh, groan. The obvious answer to that would be to put on an uppercrust Boston accent and say, with apparent bewilderment, "We have our tools."
I once made the mistake of referring to a friend's locking pliers (Vise-Grips brand) as "vice grips" (he pronounced "vise" as "vize" and before this conversation had been unaware of any other pronunciation). "Vice grips? That sounds like another word for love handles!" he exclaimed. Whereupon we fell about laughing and invented a game where we grabbed one another and said "Vice grips!" (Please don't tell me about any more direct applications of locking pliers. So not my thing. At any rate not in the bedroom.)
Ouch, Irene! Yeah, I can
Submitted by figleaf on Thu, 2012-01-26 11:04.Ouch, Irene! Yeah, I can totally hear that wisecrack and in a Boston Brahmin accent too. But I wasn't endorsing the "hey, guys like tools" approach anyway. (Why invoke gender stereotypes now when they generally make me barf?) I prefer the general reminder that people bring out toys and games when they want to play together. I love the "vice grips" game by the way. Cool impromptu play! Thanks. --fl
[Hit the wrong thing and
Submitted by Irene (not verified) on Thu, 2012-01-26 12:58.[Hit the wrong thing and comment just got eaten. If two very similar comments show up, that's why.]
Oh, I know you didn't mean the gender stereotype; I just thought it was amusing. And as you've probably noticed by now, some days I am incapable of posting anything but Anecdotal Tangents.
I am not much on sex toys myself, but they make way more sense to me than they used to, and while I'm probably not going to go out of my way to try a bunch of new stuff, I certainly wouldn't object if my husband got interested. (I used to think that toys were just for jaded folks, or those who were more into gadgets than people, or something like that: probably a common prejudice.) Definitely not too wild about vibrators, though. A while ago I looked up what the quietest vibrator was supposed to be, and found to my dismay that it was the one I already had, which I had been assuming was on the loud side (that buzzing is totally, er, a buzzkill -- too much like the dentist, if you ask me). I suppose by the time I really need one due to arthritic fingers (a few decades yet, knock wood), I'll also have enough age-related hearing loss that I can just take out my hearing aid beforehand and it'll all be good.
Agreed. It can't hurt.
Submitted by Kitten (not verified) on Thu, 2012-01-26 10:33.Agreed. It can't hurt. Whenever I introduce toys into the mix it's as a means to try something new/different and see if we like it. I find that most men are willing to play.