Photo by Flickr user KK+. Used under a Creative Commons license.
So a little while ago the (NSFW!) Tumblr sex blogger Kat Kinx, was subjected to a particularly nasty spate of anonymous commenters more or less demanding that she hook up with them, Skype with her, post specific photos or stories and performing particular acts, and otherwise totally overstepping boundaries. Oh yeah, and when she started telling them to buzz off at least one of them threatened to try and get Tumblr to cancel her blog. Because (like about 70-million other blogs on Tumblr, it has "sexual content.")
This is actually a pretty common assumption -- that to describe one's active sex life in the first person... or even just blog about one's active sexual imagination in the first person... you are or should be making yourself virtually or even actively available even to anonymous readers.
One of Kat Kinx (non-anonymous) readers snarkily but accurately put his finger on the fallacy.
“See, it’s totally your fault for being a sexual person and expressing it on your SEX BLOG. People are nuts…. That would be like posting cookies on a baked goods blog and assuming that every anon is going to get some fucking cookies!”
Johnem
Source: banter-tits
Yup. Very early in my blogging career I made the same mistake a couple of times, and had the same mistake made to me as well, before I realized there was a problem with it. But as much as I love food/sex analogies I never thought of a cookie-baking comparison. But it really illustrates the point beautifully.
Via the invaluable and also highly-NSFW Geeky Vamp
Tags:
That's weird that anonymous
Submitted by Anonymous2 (not verified) on Mon, 2012-02-20 12:49.That's weird that anonymous commenters would assume she's available or interested or that she could possibly be interested after blackmail attempts. Maybe some of it is male privilege.
I have long wanted to start my own sex blog but don't feel comfortable doing it for reasons like this. Twice in the last week and once a few months ago I've had problems with men touching me in public or getting entirely too close, then getting angry when I am not okay with it or actually distressed by it. What she's getting strikes me as the same kind of issue, that there's a belief that women are public property and should be okay with anyone's advances. That said, women are fully capable of doing the same. But it sounds like Kat Kinx is dealing with such a large quantity of these interactions that I think there is some gendered component.
No cookies? NO COOKIES? I
Submitted by Irene (not verified) on Mon, 2012-02-20 16:31.No cookies? NO COOKIES? I knock myself out commenting, and I get no cookies?! Feh. Other bloggers give me cookies ALL THE TIME. And the lurkers support me in email.
...no cookies for realz? What about homemade tomato sauce? No?
...pout...
/goofy off
Here's some cookies, Irene.
Submitted by Anonymous2 (not verified) on Tue, 2012-02-21 19:07.Here's some cookies, Irene. They're the national cookie of Canada. We just made them. Umm, link won't work. Google images: "nanaimo."
Alas, trouble commenting
Submitted by Irene (not verified) on Thu, 2012-02-23 21:45.Alas, trouble commenting again, or would have replied sooner. Nanaimo bars are yummy -- thanks! Have some (Norwegian) rosettes, which are the fanciest (and some of the best) things I know how to make.
Those are stunning! I'd
Submitted by Anonymous2 (not verified) on Fri, 2012-02-24 09:11.Those are stunning! I'd never seen them before.
Have you seen the "Can I wear
Submitted by emily (not verified) on Fri, 2012-03-16 05:51.Have you seen the "Can I wear your hat?" video, from the Virginia Commonwealth University wellness center?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAgD1yfgUuk