Yikes! Check out this week's "wise guys" question from (justifiably) anonymous Em & Lo reader
Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do guys know when they’re in love?“
Source: Today on EMandLO.com
Do we know when we’re in love?
Is this a trick question?
There’s sort of a difference between feeling something and admitting it. But that’s not the same thing, at all, at all, as not knowing it at all.
So. Short answer? Um. Yeah.
More could and probably has been written about why men might be so reluctant to admit it. Even more could and should be written, preferably focusing on outside social, economic, and gender-convention pressures that overload such admissions with all manner of social expectations.
But actual love? Yeah, men know what that is, we know when we feel it. We definitely know what it’s like to feel it and worry that it might not be reciprocated.
I will say that one thing men, and women, don’t seem to know very well is that “love” is not the same thing as “validation.” You know that really, really over-the-top-stupid Eagles lyric from the 1970s that goes “I want to know if your sweet love is going to save me?” The one sung to a complete stranger in a truck? The one the singer would like to have become the eighth woman on his “mind?” At least in western civilization that little rascal’s the source of all kinds of interpersonal anguish, humiliation, and alienation from “bridezillas” to “no-strings” sex. But validation doesn’t really have anything to do with love.
Let’s put it this way. Pretty much all human beings, not just men, not just women, know when they’re in love. What we’re missing is knowing what to do about it when we feel it.
Note: See the corresponding, and equally goofy question "do women know when they're horny?" Some times you get the feeling it's gender construction all the way down. "No-sex" class much? (Remember, in the dominant paradigm of the "no-sex" class, men are assumed to be only about sex while women are assumed to be only about love or romance.)