Photo by Flickr user "The Official CTBTO Photostream." Used under a Creative Commons license.

Yes, conservative jerk, twice-divorced, serial-deficit-increaser, twice-fathered-children-out-of-wedlock, and former President, Ronald Reagan made a major contribution to sex education and, for that matter, sex: kids (and grownups!) can have much healthier, more natural sex lives: "Trust but verify."

Sure, he was talking about something else. But nevertheless it's still relevant to sex education.

Here's the scoop.

I grew up thinking you're centered and well-adjusted about sex.  And to an extent of course I was.

But in retrospect?  Wow, did I grow up around some really, really terrible influences!  Lately the realization has made me question so much of what I "know" is true.  It's not that everything I know isn't true, but as I reflect on the sometimes deeply suspect influences I was exposed to growing up I find myself really, really, really wishing I'd had some kind of access to second opinions.  And third.  And most importantly varied!  Because, seriously, in my community you could find plenty of agenda-driven Bible thumping opinions, and equally agenda-driven anything-goes-baby "swingers."  But inbetween?  Next to nothing.  And really?  It all works out a lot better if your framework for sexuality to come waaay from somewhere in between and waaaaaaaay less from trying to reconcile screaming extremes.

Ugg.  Too bad for me (and a shocking percentage of the rest of the population that was born in the 20th Century.)

Anyway.

Watching my children grow up I'm... pretty sure they're not subject to the same shame/blame/denial/jpressure/ust-plain-wrong-information I was.  Largely, I think, because it's possible to get corroboration from more than one authoratative source.  Most of which, in turn are "open source" in the sense that they're public information and therefore subject to public acknowledgement, criticism, clarification, and dissent.

• FLASH comprehensive sexuality education curriculum? Check.
• Scarleteen? Check.
• Birds+Bees+Kids? Check.
• RAINN? (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Check.
• Where Did I Come From?: A Guide for Children and Parents and "What's Happening to Me?" A Guide to Puberty ? Check.
• The American Girl Library, of which I really wish there was either more crossover or else a separate Library for boys.
• S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College? Check.
• Heck, even Wikipedia, which might not always be accurate but which is nevertheless subject to frequent, dedicated, and often spirited fact-checking!

There are obviously more, and yes, obviously not all resources now available are 100% accurate, timely, wise, or helpful...

But the most important item, almost even more important than the actual list above would be

• Peers who are coming of age with at least some exposure to credible sources like those above, and
• Adults who have also been exposed to credible sources like those above.

I can't say how incredibly important this is.  Because with credible feedback from reliable sources, or even the possibility of such feedback, it's waaaaay more difficult for even "well meaning" adults and peers to pump the next generation's heads with really, really bad information.

Here's the problem.  Sex to an uninformed pre- or emerging adolescent is already in-credible, as in "unknown and often difficult to believe."  And for that reason it's hard to separate the in-credible things peers and grownups say that are generally true and equally (to them) in-credible sounding things that are just incredibly, and sometimes destructively false.  Even when they have the very best of intentions.

Actually, maybe especially when they have the best of intentions!

Anyway,