abstience-only

North Dakota's 2011 "Abstinence Within Marriage" Sex Ed Rule May Only Clarify that Orgies AFTER Marriage Are Still Off Limits

Tue, 2012-01-31 23:45

Via Daily Kos, and the Huffington Post the Guttmacher Institute noted that in 2011 the state of North Dakota, restless with the prospect of abstinence only before marriage, decided to take things a little further (emphasis mine.)

A new requirement enacted in North Dakota mandates that the health education provided in the state include information on the benefits of abstinence “until and within marriage.”

Source: Guttmacher Institute

Wowzie, huh?  Sounds almost too good to be true, eh?

Well, to be fair it's only mostly true, as a little bit privacy sacrifice to Google reveals.

According to the Minot (North Dakota) Daily News last April

Rep. RaeAnn Kelsch, R-Mandan, the chairwoman of the conference committee, said the phrase "before marriage" could lead students to think they're sexually unrestricted after getting married.

"This sends a much stronger, louder message, and probably more true to the facts," Kelsch said. "Once you're married, it doesn't mean that abstaining from outside issues goes away, and children should be taught that."

Source: Minot Daily News

I'm not positive this is better.  It would indeed be ludicrous for anyone to seriously advocate abstinence within marriage.  And it doesn't look like that's what Kelsch was advocating in her wording change.  (Another story reports that her committee met 12 times to hash out the wording of that one sentence.  So it's not surprising that it might sound a little muddled.)

Instead it sounds like maybe Kelsch thinks North Dakota's children are too stupid to realize that "abstinence in marriage" implies "and monogamous within marriage."  And so she felt it was important to spell it out.

I dunno.  I assume she knows North Dakotans better than I do.  And so perhaps she's responding to some spate of post-marital swinger orgies.  My guess would be that instead she's instead just signaling conservative "credentials" in a state that's already so right-wing conservative there's just not many other directions left in which to express "concern."

So again, probably not as ridiculous as it can be made out to be... but still pretty seriously ridiculous.

Julie Sunday on Teen Sexuality, Teen Pregnancy, and Access to Birth Control: The Titanic as Metaphor

Wed, 2011-12-28 15:54

Sex educator Julie Sunday offers the following pithy summary of an analysis by Professors Kathrin Stanger-Hall and David Hall of state sex-education policies and rates of teen pregnancy and birth.

Sex education matters, yes, but access to services is more important. Teens do not have sex for the purpose of avoiding pregnancy--they have sex because sex is fun. If adults and policymakers want teenagers to use birth control, they will--but we have to teach them how to use it and help them figure out how to get it instead of erecting [heh] insurmountable barriers to keep them from avoiding pregnancy and spreading STIs.

Teen sexuality is like the Titanic--the ship is definitely going down. We can either play music and pretend we're not sinking or provide life jackets and get the people off the ship already. Considering that the House's recent budget proposal included renewed funding for the terrible, horrible, no good very bad Community Based Abstinence Education program (Read: federal government gives money to religious organizations to provide "education" in public schools and make cheesy PSAs), this country is still letting the ship sink without enough lifeboats for everyone.

Source: How to Have Sex in Texas

It's an interesting, sort of back-handed twist on the Titanic metaphor but I think that's about right.  The idea, incidentally, isn't to make birth control and sex safety materials available so that teenagers (or anyone else) will have sex, it's so that those materials will be available if or when they do.

Sweater Lint and Lollypops Don't Seem To Be Reducing America's Teen Pregnancy and STI Rates... At All

Tue, 2011-04-12 05:52

Oh for crying out loud! This isn't so much shameful as it is outrageous: for all the fucking bullshit we subject ourselves and our children to in order to "protect" teens from learning the names of the body parts they're getting pregnant with, Americans have an outrageous, even atrocious teen pregnancy rate compared to the "decadent and depraved" nations of Western Europe. Em & Lo says

Image from the website for the film Let's Talk About Sex. Cached as a bandwidth-conserving courtesy
Image from the website for the film Let's Talk About Sex.

Its title may be tired, but the documentary LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX is as relevant and necessary as ever in a country that’s schizo about sex, with teens paying the price in crazy rates of pregnancy and STDs.

Source: Em & Lo

And no, it's not because they cover up their teenage pregnancy rates because they have buy-one-get-one-free abortion on demand. Because even if that were true (rate of pregnancy being independent of the rate of live birth, miscarriage, or abortion -- all of which are higher here too) another graphic from the same site can't be wallpapered that way because it's not about pregnancy at all.

Image from the website for the film Let's Talk About Sex. Cached as a bandwidth-conserving courtesy
Image from the website for the film Let's Talk About Sex.

Ouch!

American teenagers get pregnant and contract STIs at atrocious rates because American adults keep being childish about what teenagers need to know to avoid them the first place.

And no, the blunt trauma of abstinence-only education, while evidently comforting to childish adults, doesn't seem to be the answer. It doesn't work.

In fact it doesn't even appear to work for teens who aren't ready and would prefer to wait! For that you need stuff like, oh, say, negotiation, self-assessment, confidence building, self determination, and clear boundary setting. You don't get that from classroom instruction involving sweater lint, lollypops, and shame.

Twits vs. Substance on Rep. Mark Souder's Affair and Resignation

Wed, 2010-05-19 00:33

Jed Lewison of Daily Kos nicely summarizes the recently announced resignation of extremist “family values” Congressman Mark Souder. One key point? Turns out the “interviewer” in a campaign-related video on the importance of promoting abstinence and chastity was Souder’s non-marital parter.

As you know, I’m usually very harsh about the twits-vs-substance nature of these scandals, where in people enjoy the schadenfreude of a public scold’s downfall for canoodling while missing the larger point. And I’m feeling pretty harsh about this time too because the substantive problem is that Rep. Souder is, or at least was, a major leader and shaper of legislation aimed at preventing precisely the behavior he engaged in. And the nature of his role pretty much implies that he knew, understood, had access to, and a professional as well as personal interest in applying the most current and most effective abstinence-promoting, chastity-keeping, and fidelity-maintaining methods known. And yet knowing what he knew, and having access to what he had, it still didn’t work for him! And so presumably whatever it was he was promoting, and legislating, would almost certainly be even less likely to work for people with less knowledge and less support. You want a scandal? Well that’s the scandal!

One other thing, by the way. One that really does deserve singling out Souder for hypocrisy. Lewison says (emphasis mine)

GOP Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana — the leading advocate for abstinence education in Congress —  will resign after an affair with one of his female staffers became public.

He said it here.

If Souder had had even an ounce of the integrity he doesn’t just demand but also legislates for, he’d have resigned before his affair became public.

See also: Acronym Replacement: It’s Not IOKIYAR, It’s IJNNWACDI (It’s Just Not News When A Conservative Does It)

"Comprehensive" Meaning "Boys Too"

Mon, 2007-12-24 12:16

The problem being that, according to quite a lot of research, Abstience-Only education works perfectly well… well, at least until he says


I can’t stop this feelin’ deep inside of me
Girl, you just don’t realize what you do to me
When ya hold me in your arms so tight
You let me know everything’s all right

I-I-I, I’m hooked on a feelin’
High on believin’ that you’re in love with me

Source: “Hooked on a Feeling” by B.J. Thomas

Or she says…

Heaven’s just a sin away, oh oh just a sin away
I can’t wait another day, I think I’m giving in
How I long to hold you tight, oh oh be with you tonight
But that still don’t make it right, cause I belong to him

Oh way down deep inside, I know that it’s all wrong
But your eyes keep tempting me, and I never was that strong
Devil’s got me now, oh oh gone and got me now
I can’t fight him anyhow, I think he’s gonna win
Heaven’s just a sin away, oh oh just a sin away
Heaven help me when I say, I think I’m giving in

Source: “Heaven’s Just a Sin Away” by The Kendals

Quickly following up on the end of abstinence-only funding in Washington State...

It seems like one benefit of comprehensive sex education besides giving girls and boys the tools necessary to know when they’re really ready for sex, as opposed to when “...your eyes keep tempting me, and I never was that strong” or “I can’t stop this feelin’ deep inside of me…” is that unlike abstinence-only education they recognize that boys need sex education, that boys can make informed decisions… if they’re informed, that boys need freedom to choose for themselves (instead of believing they’re obliged by “instinct”) as much as girls are.

Abstinence-only education begins and ends with

C’mon angel my hearts on fire
Don’t deny your man’s desire
You’d be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside

Tonights the night
It’s gonna be alright
Cause I love you girl
Ain’t nobody gonna stop us now

Don’t say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
The secret is about to unfold
Upstairs before the night’s too old

Tonights the night
It’s gonna be alright
Cause I love you woman
Ain’t nobody gonna stop us now

Source: “Tonight’s the Night” by Rod Stewart

Which sends not just one but all the wrong messages to both girls and boys.

“Comprehensive sex education” means “comprehensive.” And “sex education.” And “for everybody.”

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