child sexual assault

"Wait Till They're 18 or Older" Is Perfectly Sound Advice For Adults Who Are Tempted to Offer Teens "Hands-On" Sex-Ed Help

Mon, 2011-05-16 16:03

Carlin Ross, writing about the recent "hummer mom" Christine Hubbs' statutory rape case says that setting bail at $4 million seems a little excessive.  I agree.  On the other hand she also says

I've always thought that the older women in a community should teach the young boys/men about sex.  They could learn how to stimulate a woman's body, how to practice safe sex, and come control from a woman with sexual experience.

Her husband is sticking by her side and she has three children.  Tacky - yes.  Predator - I don't think so.

Source: Dodson and Ross

While I happen to enjoy reading Carlin Ross quite a bit I couldn't disagree more, either on the older-instructor point or the not-a-predator one.

On the older-instructor front I actually really, really think older women (and men) in a community should leave their children enough space to develop their own sexual identities and/or skills with their peers in a... well... not quite supervised environment but in a comprehensively informed one.

I mean, yes, it's all well and good to brass on about "snot-nosed youths" defiling girls their age and how it would be better for older men to "beak them in gently," just as it's all well and good to suggest older women do likewise for boys. But really it's probably a better idea to make sure kids develop real peer authority with each other such that neither one is bringing "outside" expertise to their experimentation.

Because, seriously, you don't hear that sort of thing about gay boys needing to be "broken in" in order to work stuff out, nor for girls with other girls. Somehow they figure it out -- even really complex activities -- either on their own or with remarkably small amounts of reading material related to technique.

Once they turn 18 or a developmentally more appropriate 21, I think it's fine for older men or women to offer younger ones an opportunity to refine their techniques. But before roughly adulthood a lot of sexual negotiation and exploration winds up tied with social, identity, and even personality development. Having adults swoop in for "coaching" sessions might be, um, refreshing for the adults, and even educational for the kids, but (as if often the case for a lot of people in retrospect) it's also an opportunity for adults to help "lock in" their momentary partner's sexualities before they've settled. Again, once they've settled -- and that's most often substantially complete between 18 and 21, then again, adult advice would be taken as advice and not formation. And by that age inexperienced adults are still able to negotiate with other adults as effective peers.

On the sexual-predator front no matter what I strongly don't believe in those cases that it would be necessary to offer Xboxes or flat screen TVs to close the deal, as  Because at that point it really would be a deal instead of a sexual exchange.  If you have to groom, intimidate, or otherwise inveigle a 14-year-old of any age into your bed (or in this case to inveigle yourself into theirs) UR Doin' It Wrong.

---

Incidentally I'd just like to add a quote from one of Ross's commenters, Heather J

[M]y husband was raped by an older woman who had children his age and older. He couldn't say no because she had the power. How can a male be raped you might ask? Oh, believe me, they can. We're suffering the consequences now with me being a take charge, not afraid to get what I want sort of woman in the bedroom and him reverting back to how she was with him. Didn't bother him until his father recently died and it's bringing up lots of issues. Adults need to stay away from kids sexually... all adults... all the time.

That seems about right.  It doesn't matter that boys are supposed to be "ready all the time," nor that they're supposed to be able to "take the lead" with sex partners their own age.  No more so than girls with a good, comprehensive sex education are at an orgasmic "disadvantage" to boys as long as their authority and agency is recognized and backed up to be the equal of boys who are their peers.  In fact, arguments of the form "you'll need to know" or "I can help you with... in a way [your peers] couldn't possibly" are actually pretty effective forms of coercion when employed in a culture where boys are expected to "know" and girls are expected to be left wanting.

Because the America is Just So Much Safer When TSA Gropes the Groins of Weeping 3-Year-Old Children

Mon, 2010-11-15 21:37

TSA's new book for kids:
TSA’s new book for kids: “My First Cavity Search” Source: BoingBoing

Ok, so I don’t usually object all that much to airport security theater. I’ve even been through the TSA’s stupid high-radiation “backscatter” peeping-tom body-scanner. But as it gets slowly more, and more, and more, and more intrusive… and theatrical… and most importantly delay-imposing it is getting a little old. But on average I figure for the couple of times a year I fly, what the fuck, let ‘em look at my pee-pee through their dime-store X-RAY SPECS.

But this one got me. Via Jennifer Welsh of Discover Blogs some group called National Opt-Out Day (about which I know nothing and therefore can’t possibly endorse) is suggesting that everyone protest against the body scanners by opting en mass for the alternative hands-on-your-genitals pat downs.

Here’s their pitch. I’ve emphasized the line that finally got me.

It’s the day ordinary citizens stand up for their rights, stand up for liberty, and protest the federal government’s desire to virtually strip us naked or submit to an “enhanced pat down” that touches people’s breasts and genitals in an aggressive manner. You should never have to explain to your children, “Remember that no stranger can touch or see your private area, unless it’s a government employee, then it’s OK.”

Source: Discover Blogs

The “unless it’s a government employee” part sounds a little right-wing, but the underlying principle is sound: don’t complicate the message we give children not to let others touch their private parts.

I might not have been so… well… touchy about it if political blogger Kevin Drum hadn’t mentioned a cell-phone video of a TSA agent trying to pat down a 3-year-old. And if Sungold at Kittywampus hadn’t been all over it too. And so on.

But yeah, I think past a certain point the returns in national humiliation, let alone sexual assault of children, offsets the genuinely incremental increases in personal security bullshit theatrics like this pose. Especially since they don’t really produce all that much extra security in the first place. (For instance would backscanner technology have stopped the Yemen-based printer-cartridge bomb attempts? No, the printer cartridges were shipped as cargo and aside from making shippers pinky-swear they’re not shipping bombs air cargo remains subject to basically no inspection at all. At all! But I digress…)

Anyway, no, adults probably should be, and children definitively shouldn’t be subjected either virtual nude photography or way-too-real genital manipulation at airports or… pretty much anywhere else.

Questioning, But Not Challenging, Lawrence Taylor's Indictment for Raping a Sex-Trafficked 16-Year-Old

Sun, 2010-07-18 07:28

A staffer at TMZ Sports says

A woman has come forward in the Lawrence Taylor case to say the NFL legend did not have sex with the 16-year-old girl he is accused of raping.

The witness — a 23-year-old stripper who says she was living with the 16-year-old girl and her alleged pimp at the time — gave a sworn statement to investigators from the defense team, saying she was waiting outside the hotel at the time of the alleged incident. According to the AP, the woman says the teenager returned to the car with $300 in cash and said, “It was weird … we didn’t even have sex.”

Read the quote in context here.

According to another source, nfl.fanhouse.com, the defense witness claims “Taylor rubbed himself on the girl, but they did not have sex.” Which, I guess, is supposed to make it all better.

At the end of the day, though, what really matters… what the case boils down to… what’s wrong with the entire picture can be summed up in something else the woman is reported to have been concerned about. Again from the nfl.fanhouse newswire

The woman said in her statement that she did not come forward initially because she worried she would get in trouble because she knew the girl was underage.

Um. Yeah. She was living with this 51-year-old pimp and a 16-year-old girl she knew he was pimping, she accompanied the girl and the pimp to a customer’s hotel room and stood outside waiting while an act of teen prostitution took place. If it wasn’t for the evident fact that the word “prostitution” magically washes away all traces of “statutory rape,” “sexual assault of a child,” “sex offender registry,” “corruption of a minor,” and every other offense prosecutors, judges, and juries are usually (and, I think, correctly) willing to throw at people who have sex with minors, the woman had every reason to worry she’d get in trouble.

For that matter I’m really inclined to question (but certainly not challenge) the rape charges leveled against Taylor in the first place. It’s extremely unusual for prosecutors to charge johns with sexual assault… even when the johns commit violent assault against adult sex workers rather than statutory sexual assault against minor ones.

I’m not knocking their decision because I think it’s a really good idea to hold johns accountable for not meticulously verifying the age of the sex workers they hire. (Taylor claims he asked and the girl told him she was 19. Which doesn’t wash in my book — if she’d said she was Mother Theresa he’d probably have asked to see her ID so…)

But it’s so unusual I’m curious about the particulars that led to this, well, particular charge being brought.

Anyway, bottom line here is that a) yes, whatever one can say about voluntary, entrepreneurial sex work there are also sex workers who are conscripted and coerced, sometimes by violence, b) yes, whatever one can say about consenting adults we do not say the same thing about minors, even consenting ones, and c) while it’s laudable that prosecutors appear to be charging Lawrence with rape and the pimp with sex trafficking they’re still failing to bring with perfectly-accurate and well-deserved charges against them for crimes that would put them on sex-offender registries for life.

It’s perfectly possible to support legalizing the sale and purchase of sexual services from autonomous, uncoerced adults (as I am, even though I’m not terrifically enthusiastic about it) while also supporting draconian measures against the sale or purchase of sexual access to the bodies of those who are conscripted, coerced, trafficked, or otherwise unable to freely and legally consent.

It’s a mistake to imagine that rape is the right word for voluntary commercial sexual services. It’s an even bigger mistake to imagine any other word will do for those who are coerced into sexual servitude.

For Better or Worse Pedophile Priests Should Stop Panicking About the Ordination of Women

Fri, 2010-07-16 13:56

Monica Potts of TAPPED passes along word that the Vatican’s new anti-sex-abuse policies also deals with a problem they see as even more equally pernicious.

...the attempted ordination of women as a “grave crime” subject to the same set of procedures and punishments meted out for sex abuse.

Read the quote in context here.

Hey, how about a nice round of screw you to those stupid little in-denial closet pedophiles and the (hobby)horses they rode up on?

I mean, yeah, if an unseemly taste for children, an abiding distaste for women, and a misunderstanding so deep that I couldn’t understand that when given the opportunity women in authority can sexually abuse boys with no less aplomb than men, then I’d be absolutely freaked out at the prospect of women as professional peers who might blow the whistle on me. And all things considered it’s easy to imagine that’s really what the Bishops and Cardinals are most concerned about. Even though they needn’t be.

And why yes, I am in rather a bad mood about this. Oddly, their main excuse for not ordaining women into the priesthood is that Jesus chose no women Disciples. This despite the fact that to the best of our knowledge none of Jesus’s Disciples were pedophiles either. And yet they’ve never threatened to excommunicate pedophiles… or for that matter the priests who ordained them… or for that matter the bishops, cardinals, and Popes who’ve whitewashed the whole sorry sex-abuse enterprise.

And why yes, my main point would just happen to be that archaic religious conceits about gender notwithstanding, the downsides of gender equivalence demonstrate the undeniability of gender equivalence just as much as the myriad upsides do. It’s not that there are no differences between men and women — at the very least the fact that every human being who’s ever existed has been a product of the union of biological male and female gametes makes that sort of irrefutable. The question instead is whether the differences are significant enough to warrant excluding one sex and privileging another, and the answer there is also irrefutably no.

Did I mention I was in a bad mood about this?

Pedophilia, Catholic Clergy, and Abdication of Moral Authority

Fri, 2010-03-26 10:38

Yeah, I think it’s time. Echidne of the Snakes asks who…

should listen to the U.S. Catholic bishops as the arbiter of morality.

She said it here.

That these are the guys (and by invocation of their own infallibility clause it’s all guys) who are standing in the way of reproductive rights for women, universal marriage, fertility treatment, and cellular-level medical research, not to mention abstinence even in marriage except for procreation, all on the basis of their own moral authority…

It’s just starting to sink in that it’s not that these would-be emperors have no clothes — there’s room and possibly even need in society for moral religious philosophy and guidance. No, what’s getting me isn’t that they have no clothes at all, it’s that they have no pants!

And just to be clear I’m not saying every male member of the Catholic hierarchy is a pedophile. I am saying, however, that the intersection between public ideology on the one hand and a genuinely, theologically well-intentioned but catastrophic institutional forgiveness of biological reality inside that hierarchy has lead almost inevitably to abetting pedophilia.

Which might have been tolerable were pedophilia a minor flaw like depression, burnout, alcoholism, or even plain old incompatibility with a particular congregation or posting. But in both the most corporeal and the most etherial senses pedophilia simply isn’t the administrative problem the church chose to treat it as, for, evidently, centuries. Instead it’s a direct refutation of nearly all the principles the Church uses to distinguish itself and its clergy from other religions and other denominations. It also directly undermines any and all claims it may ever have had to be an arbiter of morality.

The irony I should be lecturing the Catholic church on morality speaks not so much to my nominal depravity. All my talk about sex and “kink” and so on are actually part and parcel with a fairly strong and reasonably well-informed sense of morality that I’m able to express with some consistency through word and deed both publicly and privately, and so I’m actually not at all depraved. The irony, instead, is that while morality is my hobby it’s supposed to be their job!

That I can now be suspicious (with what I fear to be strong foundation) that the real reason Church leaders permit neither marriage for priests nor ordination of women as priests is out of fear that heterosexual married men and women would neither tolerate nor be tempted by pedophilia… and that I can now be suspicious that the currently embroiled Pope was elevated not despite his history of condoning pedophelia but instead because his history was well-understood within the hierarchy, is probably all that needs to be said about how little moral authority remains with them.

It needn’t be this way. It needn’t have been. But it evidently really, really is.

Lie Down With Dogs, Wake Up With Pedophiles

Fri, 2009-10-23 13:15

Lindsay Beyerstein of Majikthise asks

I wonder if Hollywood luminaries will sign manifestos in defense of James Phillip Edwards, a 60-year-old Kansas City man who admits to drugging little girls and molesting them

Read the quote in context here.

I wonder further if they'd consider 42 days adequate should Edwards be found guilty, since that's all Polanski served for drugging and assaulting a 13-year-old before skipping the country and they think that's all the time he should ever serve.

Drunk or Sober, Child Sex is (Provably!) No Excuse

Mon, 2009-04-20 21:59

Also via Research Blogging, Christie Lynn of Observations of a Nerd says neither doh! both the “but she looked 18” and “but I was too drunk to tell” defenses against statutory rape are bogus.

Many accused of statutory rape claim two things – 1) that the girl consented and 2) that they thought she was older. The first is unimportant – if the girl is underage, it’s still rape. But in the US, there is a special defense clause which allows defendents leiniency if there is reasonable evidence they “mistook” a younger girl for one of consenting age. Many times lawyers claim that a girl’s makeup or guy’s consumption of alcohol impaired the offender’s judgement of her age. As an excuse, it’s pretty common among men charged with all varieties of sex with a minor. Well, researchers wanted to see if those factors really had an effect on how men (and women) estimated a girl’s age. The results are clear: alcohol had no effect on a man’s estimate of a girl’s age, and makeup had little.

Read the quote in context here.

There are some half-hearted attempts to but… but… but… from her commenters but overall the conclusion is the more “real world” you make the tests (adding voice or conversation, for instance) the less likely it becomes to legitimately mistake a child for an adult.

And does this have bearing on anything? Why yes, I believe it does!

The study Lynn based her post on acknowledged a fairly consistent age overestimation of roughly two and a half years. Which might make the error plausible for older underage sex workers. But… given that a) ignorance of the law is no excuse and b) a generally accepted age of first-entry into sex work is closer to 13 than 15.5 I’m feel even more attached to my strong preference for prosecuting customers of prostituted children and/or child prostitutes for child sex crimes instead of the far more lenient laws intended to police hiring sex-working adults. (Obviously I think hiring, or being, a non-coerced adult sex worker shouldn’t be a crime at all. Hiring a child, however, especially in the face of the finding Lynn reports, ought to be prosecuted with chilling ruthlessness.)

Great First Step: Treating Child Sex Workers as Children Instead of Criminals

Sun, 2009-04-19 12:49

Hortense of Jezebel has some good news

Several states have begun taking steps to better protect teenagers who end up in prostitution rings, treating the teen prostitutes not as criminals, but as victims of abuse, and charging their pimps with human trafficking.

Prosecutor Nancy O’Malley, who wrote California’s sexually exploited minors law, tells Christina Hoag of the Associated Press: “This is an institutional shift. It’s about getting people to shift their attention and judgment from the minor and seeing what’s beyond this criminal behavior.” Several other states, including New York, are following suit, offering rehabilitation programs rather than jail time for children caught up in the sex trade.

She said it here.

The thing is there’s a bit of a chicken/egg problem with legalizing adult sex work: because it’s currently a criminal enterprise criminals have considerable latitude to not engage in activities that ought to be legal but also to engage in acts that decidedly shouldn’t. Yet resistance to legalization is high precisely because of the corners criminals cut. Corner cutting, incidentally, that legal or decriminalized sex workers would be unlikely to tolerate were it legal and non-jeopardizing for them to complain. But I digress.

The real point is that conflicting social priorities have tended to treat prostitutes in general, and child-prostitutes in particular as nominal victims but actual criminals (see item #1 in the Two Rules of Desire. Especially since victims of child prostitution are generally seen as especially “broken” since they’ve already had Teh Sex and all.) Anyway a move to instead treat child-sex laborers as actual victims is pretty welcome.

The next step in that direction, of course, would be to prosecute pimps and customers with (generally overreactive but in this case laudably and, even better, enduringly punitive) child-sex and child-exploitation offenses. As it currently stands sex with a minor tends to be “washed away” if the child is a sex worker. Turning that on its head where prosecutors disregarded the sex-work angle and simply started putting customers on life-long, wherever-you-live sex-offender registries would have a marvelously “chilling” effect on customers who currently needn’t worry at all about age.

Anyway, if you’re anti-sex-work you should be fine with that. And if you’re pro-sex-work you should be fine with that too. Any time the question of legalization comes up the anti-sex-work side raises the child-prostitution issue. The best thing the decriminalization/legalization side could do is take the issue away from their opponents with vocal support for initiatives like Nancy O’Malley’s.

Talk of Trafficking and Pimping, While Overblown, Isn't *Completely* Overblown

Thu, 2009-02-05 09:42

Via reporter Levi Pulkkinen of The Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Man admits trying to force girl to prostitute herself

By LEVI PULKKINEN
P-I REPORTER

A Renton man accused of trying to force a 13-year-old girl to prostitute herself on Seattle streets pleaded guilty Wednesday to a sex crime.

Prosecutors asserted Tyrone A. Bellinger, 24, lured the girl into his car and, after showing her his pistol, forced her to sell herself in August 2007.

He pleaded guilty to attempted promoting commercial sexual abuse of a minor, a felony.

Read the quote in context here.

I could be wrong here but I’m guessing the behavior of predators like Mr. Bellinger are a lot more infuriating to proponents of legalizing sex work than are opponents.

If I hadn’t once been 13 myself… and if I didn’t have a 12-and-a-half year old child myself… I’d be perplexed by some of the behavior of the victim. From getting into the car with Bellinger and “an associate” to not flagging down a police car where she was dropped off or using the cell she was given to call 911 you just want to say “what was she thinking!?!?!” And not in a “blame the victim” sense but in a parental/diagnostic sense of what’s the logic of the combination of vulnerability, independence, intelligence and inexperience because.

He didn’t drop the child off in my neighborhood exactly, but he did drop her off on the corner near the grocery store I drive to for my big trip for the week’s groceries. But he drove her through my neighborhood on the way.

He dropped the child off literally on the other end of town from where he picked her up — 15 miles or so.
View Larger Map

He dropped the child off in an area where, sort of fortunately, no serial killers are currently known to be preying on prostitutes. Although, of course, since sex-workers are treated like the scum of the earth by friend and foe alike it sometimes takes a while for anyone to notice when a new serial killer takes up residence.

Somehow Bellinger got the idea that the way you make money is by appropriating children, intimidating them with violence or threats of violence, translocating them far from their support infrastructures, forcing them to sell sexual labor, and keeping all or most of the proceeds. Somehow he missed out on the possibility that maybe those children, being human beings and all, have their own ideas, their own possibilities, their own futures to unwind in front of them.

And… hey… maybe he was trying to run children because adult sex workers don’t… actually… need fucking pimps to make their decisions for them.

I dunno. All I know is that Bellinger pled guilty to the felony of commercial sexual abuse of a minor and will spend two years in prison. Which makes me wonder what other charges he was facing to make that plea look attractive.

It would be very nice, by the way, if upon release he had to register as a Level III Sex Offender. Because parole only lasts so long. And before one can argue that that’s a misuse of sex-offender statues you’d have to first argue how, exactly, selling sex with a child is a lesser offense than having sex with a child one’s self.

Hey, Even Socrates Endorsed Real Adult Sex Over the Alternative

Thu, 2009-01-08 22:43

[Oops. I meant to post this months ago. Sorry about the lag. —fl]

In an anonymous comment on an Edward Feser post I mentioned back in December someone raised the same objection I have to sex with children and, very nicely, traced back to Socrates.

Anonymous was responding to Feser’s self-interested assertions that the Ancients singled out only homosexuality for prohibition rather than all expressly non-reproductive sex regardless of age or orientation**.

There is also some decent stuff on sexuality in Gregory Vlastos’ book on Socrates. Interestingly, he understands Socrates’ refusal to indulge his inclinations as rooted in the idea that to do so would harm the boys (ancient Greek homosexuality, if you aren’t aware, tends to be presented specifically as pederasty and not as a sexual relationship between grown males, though that does seem to show up in the Symposium). Since it would harm the boys, it couldn’t be virtuous, and so it would harm Socrates too.

Anonymous said it here.

It might not have occurred to Socrates, or Plato, nor evidently to Feser and his correspondents, but the same can be said of sexual relations between men or boys but adults and children of any gender: it only momentarily gratifies the adult but almost always royally, um, compromises what would otherwise be the child’s healthy sexuality. For life. Including his or her entire adult life. In other words the problem isn’t that it’s perverted (whatever that means anyway) but because it’s destructive use.

Since, however, the same can not be said of affirmative sexual relations between an autonomous, competent adult and other autonomous, competent adults. Which is why it’s hard to generate much legitimate objection to adults of any gender or orientation in sexual relationships with each other.

[** But not, incidentally, of gender — unlike today the Ancients almost universally agreed that the urges to bear children created by women’s uteruses them amorally incapable of sexual restraint. Therefore only men were considered capable of… and therefore expected to exercise… chastity, morality, or restraint.

And naturally, thanks to this ur-“no-sex” class theory, women weren’t believed to enjoy sex because they might actually, you know, enjoyed sex. See, again, the job nobody wanted. Nope, for women it was supposed to be all about Teh Children. Worth considering when assessing anything Feser might have to say on the matter of abortion. —fl]

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