heterosexual male nudes

Notes on an Experimental W4M Post on Craigslist

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Mon, 2011-07-18 18:39

Note: Guys, when a woman (or in this case someone who's pretending to be one) posts a note about wanting to trade sensual but definitely not sexual massages it's probably not as unique an idea as you probably think to send her urology-conference-quality photos of your erection. Even if you have a conference-quality erection!

Because whillikers!

Oh, and "your erection plus your abs" probably doesn't count as creative variation.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying nobody wants to look at your erection. Plenty of women probably do.

But, you know, usually when people greet each other they do two things:

They make eye contact
They extend their hands and shake them.

Neither of these things seems feasible in photos that

Don't include faces or eyes
Include something to shake but no hands.

So!

Quick role reversal for straight men with the impulse to send photos of their erections to women who say they want to exchange sensual but definitely not sexual massages.

Let's say you put an ad on Craigslist requesting something fairly neutral like, say, someone to go fishing with and pretty much all the replies were photos of men with erections but no eyes or hands.

Setting aside the question of whether or not you like erections or photos thereof (because if you were actually a hetero woman you might like them) consider the question of whether photos of erections are actually responsive to your request for a fishing companion.

Consider further whether, if deciding from an array of potential fishing partners the optimal criteria to be... their erections and, possibly, their erections plus abs.

Even if, again, in other circumstances... like if, say, a woman (or someone posing as a woman) posted an ad saying "send me photos of your erections, and sometime abs," those photos would not just welcome but appropriate.

I should not, by the way, that by far the majority of replies do not include photos of erections. So this isn't an attempt at tarring all men with one brush. But! Again, for those who do, gee whillikers, guys!

Get a grip! (Oh wait!)

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Note to Rep. Weiner: How to Improve the Odds of Being Appreciated by Women and Ignored by Brietbart

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Tue, 2011-06-07 08:59

Note: The enclosed erotic male image is considered perfectly "safe for work" since it only shows body parts that straight men don't realize are sexy. All links, however, lead to other NSFW posts.

Note to Rep. Weiner and... pretty much every other man who thinks it's the height of creativity to snap a pixie of their peepee and call it erotic, here's how you do it.

Australian sex-blogger and frequent erotic self-photographer GeekyVamp reposts another woman sex-blogger, Musingsandmischief's repost of a male self-photographer, Isinpi's photo.

Photo by Tumblr user Isinpi.

Oh wow, mr Isinpi,

this pic deserves to be reblogged the shit out of. Well played sir, well played…

musingsandmischief:

Beautiful picture, no wonder I keep seeing reblogs with you getting tumblr ladies weak at the knees.

isinpi:

I can’t decide which one, so fuck it I’ll post two. Hands, clavicle, lips, and scruff in one photo.

Source: There May Be Tits There May Be Banter

It's not that women don't think penises are sexy. Or that penis bulges veiled behind athlete-gray underpants are sexy. A surprising number do. But what seems to be an even more surprising number of women prefer a bit more context -- as, in fact, would most men if they too were regularly innundated with random unsolicited closeups of solicitous women's vulvas. Once context is established (and believe it or not, intentionally visiting a porn site establishes some kind of context) then one has a great deal more latitude.

But for out of the blue imagery? Even when you want to preserve your anonymity? Well. If you follow the link to his Tumblr post and check out who's already followed and/or liked the photo you'll find that as of this morning (the photo was posted this morning) fifteen women (and no men) have indicated their approval and several, like GV and MAM have reposted it to their own erotic-photography blogs.

Hint, maybe? Clue perhaps?

The funniest thing? I could be mistaken but I'm guessing that Rep. Weiner could post and tweet photos like this all day long and the likes of Andrew Brietbart would never register it. Or if they did they wouldn't register it as anything but some kind of artsy-fartsy east-coast liberal noodlings. Because, you see, it wouldn't be porn for men.

Now I don't happen to think there's anything wrong with porn for men per se. And of course there are plenty of women who are downright cheerful about consuming it (and of course men who aren't.) But that's not the point.

The point is, it seems to me, that if you're interested in women, and if you're going to go around sending random, unsolicited photos of yourself to women, then maybe you should take, oh, five or ten minutes to find out what women find most eye-catching about men. And try sending that instead.

Especially if you're going to send them via Twitter. Because, you see, while in the ancient history that was the world before Twitter (i.e. July, 2006) and before Tumblr (i.e. 2007) it was quite a bit harder to find out what sort of erotic images of heterosexual men women preferred. But nowadays? If you were interested you could find out pretty quickly. But you would have to be interested.

Update: While watering the planter boxes just now it occurred to me that I might sound like I'm claiming I know this photo but not that one will work as "porn for women." I'm just saying that if you want to know what works, look at what women are saying works! Same's true, obviously, about all manner of other kinds of decisions, sex-related or not, about what works for all kinds of people. Even when you think you know what should work for other people.

Also, this post obviously isn't supposed to be an enlightening tract on how people, in Congress, in power, or otherwise, should and should not impose themselves sexually on those who have not indicated it would be appreciated.

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The Egregious "Porn for Women" Meme: I think It Depends on How He's Folding the Laundry or Making the Bed

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Thu, 2011-06-02 19:33

Jill Filipovic says

In the aftermath of the Anthony Weiner weiner-scandal, the Washington Post asks women what kind of sexts (as they kids say) they’d appreciate receiving. Women ™ say:

“I would like a photo of a made bed,” says Kathryn Roberts, who works at a law firm in Washington. “I would take rose petals, but I want them on top of a made bed.” And not that fake kind of made, either, where the comforter is smooth but the sheets are a jumbled mess.

“Or laundry,” adds her friend Andrea Neurohr.

“Folded laundry,” elaborates Roberts. “Maybe in a wicker basket.”

Get it? Cleaning is so important to women it’s basically pornography! Haha oh women, with their clean laundry and their distaste for sexual pleasure and the male body.

Source: Feministe

Back when I was posting a lot of nude and/or erotic self-photography I went ahead and tested the hypothesis that women would rather see men folding laundry or making beds. The results were positive but most of my non-domestic photo series were considerably more popular.

At any rate, based on my past experience I think whether photos of men folding laundry or making beds can be sexy has a lot more to do with the men and a lot less to do with the laundry.*

Photo by figleaf.

Photo by figleaf.

All photos by figleaf (hey that's me!) Posted with a Creative Commons license. .

Happy HNT (or Half-nekkid Thursday!)

* Note: if you're going to put rose petals on a bed there's a good chance you're going to have to use bleach to get the stains out. Or else, I guess, use rose-colored sheets.

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Half-Nekkid Thursday Work-Safety Quiz, Gravatar Edition

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Thu, 2011-05-26 11:17

1 2 3

So today on a whim I was looking through my old "not safe for work" Half-Nekkid Thursday posts (which you now sort of have to know to look for.) I sort of forget how much time and effort I used to put into those photos (even the nominally spontaneous ones) and I also forget that considering what I had to work with (i.e. my physique and almost zero input on non-cliche-porn depictions of hetero men) some of them came out really, really well.

Anyway, one in particular caught my eye (item #1,above) because I really, really liked the light and shadows, the lines, ~~and my behind~~ and just for the heck of it I installed it in place of my old gravatiar image (Item #2, above.)

But then I immediately got cold feet.

I'm not sure why. My site's already pretty much hopelessly branded as "nsfw" even though it's been years since I've actually been that "unsafe" (again you have to know where to look for my HNT and other photos, and many of the old photos are no longer there at all.*) And I actually think it's really important to push for more casual acceptance of erotic imagery of heterosexual men. And in a lot of ways the old image isn't any less "erotic" than the new one. (Also, while we don't usually think of it that way, item #3 even more directly implies heterosexual activity.)

But just for the heck of it, rather than just guess I thought I'd ask you which of the three candidate gravatars you'd rather see at the top of my page. Feel free to chime in in comments. Also feel free to explain why.

Thanks!

* For the record, since I stopped posting a photo a day my traffic has declined nearly 85% from its peak. !!! Since my posts had become mostly about politics, sociology, and gender long before I stopped posting photos I'm pretty sure not doing photos has a lot to do with the dropoff.)

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The Reverse Las-Vegas Effect: What Happens On the Internet Stays on the Internet... Even Before There Was an Internet!

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Mon, 2011-04-11 11:28

So I got a private message on Facebook earlier today, from someone who's friends with a friend of mine and recognized my real name.

The message said

How many people in the world can say that they saw two beautiful women crack an egg into your underwear, then coat you with honey and feathers at a gathering called [the name of the gathering]?

I won't tell [our mutual friend], I promise. I was part of the [group from the place he's from].

I'm actually not particularly worried.

First because it was honey and feathers and not tar and feathers. :-)
Second because I'm pretty sure our mutual friend, who's not of our generation, would be more amused than aghast.
Third because I can honestly say it was for a good cause (a fundraiser.)
And finally because it happened in 1974 or 1975 so I could always use a "youthful folly" excuse. Even though I probably wouldn't.

But it does serve as a nice reminder that just because the internet makes digging up the past easier it doesn't mean the internet was ever required to dig up the past.

If anything the sheer volume of past digging-up on the internet today serves to inoculate us by demonstrating that, in fact, "scandalous" sexual behavior might not be universal but it's certainly common enough that there's actually nothing very scandalous about it.

That said, I'm glad there weren't digital cameras back then. :-)

Back then I was already six foot three but only weighed 125 pounds. Plus I had terrible acne! Both of which are fine in retrospect even though I felt self-conscious about it at the time.

What's worrying, though, is that while I think they might have dressed me in a nice pair of women's bikini underwear first they might instead have dressed me in whitie-tightie boxers and I don't think I could handle that kind of shame. :-)

UpdateIf there had been photos I'd have had to title this post "Lefty Loosie in Whitie Tighties."

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HNT - You Can Always Tell When I've Just Taken a Nap

Tags:

One of the pleasures of working at home (though also one of the few comforts of being underemployed at home!) is being able to take an afternoon nap in your own bed. And one of the benefits of that is that when you wake up you don’t have to worry about others noting a, well, frequently noted phenomenon* of men who’ve just woken up.

You know those little lines you get on your skin when you sleep on creases in the sheets? If you look closely you’ll see I’ve got them all over my right side. If that’s what you’d rather look closely for, of course. :-)

Happy HNT (or Half-nekkid Thursday!)

More like this here.

* If you follow the link to the photoset on Flickr, and if you’ve previously asked to be added to my “Flickr Friends” category, you’ll note a bit more, um, phenomenon than I thought would be visible when I was taking the photos.

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Completely Safe-For-Work Test Post Related to Work-Safety and HNT

Tags:

This is just a test post. Enough people have recently said they appreciated my participation in the HNT, a.k.a. Half-nekkid Thursday that I’d like to start posting them again. On the other hand quite a few readers would rather not see them.

So what I’m trying to do here is setup a class of posts that will be automatically excluded from the front page, and only available to people who specifically wish to see them.

This is just a test to see if these kinds of posts show up where they’re wanted, and aren’t visible when they’re not.

So… let me know if you don’t see this. :-)

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Significant Problem at Naked Men / Happy Women Blog

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Tue, 2010-04-20 18:25

Note: All links in this post have NSFW content.

So via a @filamentmag tweet I found the website Naked Men, Happy Women, by essiegabi. But she’s got a significant problem.

Since I’ve long been irked by the dearth of representations of men in visual erotica that aren’t by or for other men (either as objects of desire for gay men, or as proxies or foils for hetero men) her About Page is near and dear to my heart.

Nowadays images of naked women are commonly shown everywhere; in advertisements, commercials, games and movies, art, on billboards and on TV. A naked female body is pleasant to look at, so no complaints here. But something is missing, isn’t there?

Have you, like me, been wondering why there is so little male nudity in every day life for us hetero sexual women to enjoy? Do you agree it is unfair to say the least, and do you want to see more? Then this blog is the perfect blog for you. Naked men, happy women, aka NMHW, is created to discuss various related topics with you, to post examples of how things could/should be, and to find ways to change the current situation to our advantage. It is about time men catch up with us when it comes to showing their goodies, and even more for us women to tell them what we want.

She said it here.

But she’s got a significant problem.

The images she captures really aren’t what you see in male-oriented porn. Including so-called “Clothed Female, Naked Men” or CFNM fetish sites that are… also generally considered male-oriented. One thing that stands out, or maybe doesn’t, is that when penises are shown they’re almost never erect. Another is that the men might be erotically posed but not erotically poised — they look neither dominantly nor submissively ready, and they don’t look sexually needy. Instead the photos essiegabi selects are relaxed men with clear potential to be sexual. Oh yeah, and while the men are generally under age 40 (and mostly under 30) and none seem overweight, neither are they all athletically or militarily buff. In other words they tend to look the way a lot of women say they like to see men, as opposed to what men seem to think women like… or as opposed to how men expect other men to look.

I like the site quite a lot, and if you’re turned on by heterosexual men you may like it even more. But there’s a significant problem. Essiegabie explains the problem

Oh no, it is Tuesday already. Where is our new hottie?!
I have to admit it: I am running out of stock…
After hours of surfing the net and almost giving up hope, I finally found this image.

She said it here.

If she wanted images of eroticized women she could find them anywhere up to and including the covers of Sukudo puzzle books. If she wanted images of men in stylized porn-for-men situations she’d have to look a little further than the nearest grocery store aisle but such images are still abundant on magazine racks and online…

But if she wants to find images that work for her she’s evidently got to work really hard. Considering that there may be literally (not figuratively) millions of porn sites out there, with anywhere from tens to hundreds of million images, and considering that you can almost play “Pornsite Bingo” by Googling a completely random words and the word “porn” and find someone who’s already made a fetish site for it with surprising regularity, it’s a real surprise she’d have any trouble at all…

And yet…

It appears to be a significant problem.

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Half-Nekkid Nostalgia

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Thu, 2010-04-15 23:14

So I haven’t been doing the HNT (or Half-nekkid Thursday!) meme for a couple of months. I used to do it all the time… but then I used to post all sorts of half- and even more-naked photos of myself, back when I was exploring the notion of heterosexual men as erotic figures.

So I came back from a run early yesterday afternoon, and, feeling all sweaty and healthy and pretty darn good, in a bright, sunlit home office in an upstairs room, with a big comfy chair to collapse into, and I notice my camera on the desk, already pointing in my general direction.

So I took some photos, just for old time sake. It was a lot more fun than thought.

But taking photos can be a lot more fun for me than seeing photos might be for you.

And it’s already Friday morning and it just occurred to me to ask.

What’s your take? Did you come by when I used to post photos, on Thursdays or otherwise? Are you glad I stopped. Sorry?

I don’t know if I’ll start again. But I never asked if I should stop. But I might as well ask which you thought was a good idea — that I started in the first place, or that I stopped?

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Tao of Geek Tackles Rule of Desire #1

Posted by figleaf | Tags:

Tue, 2010-03-16 15:12

Terri of Geek Feminism Blog says

You’re probably all familiar with the inverse law of fantasy armour for women: the less the armour covers, the more it somehow miraculously protects. Liz Walsh writes and draws the entertaining web comic Tao of Geek and I quite enjoyed her story about Naomi campaigning not for sensible armour for women, but in equal cheesecake for her male barbarian character.

The story starts here and if you don’t have a whole lot of time, you should at least check out the final punchline here.

Read the quote in context here.

Two good ones from the middle of the series (click to see them full-size at Tao of Geek.)

Further on in the series Walsh makes not one but two points in dialogue. A couple of passers by say “We don’t want female characters covered up” and “We like looking at pretty women” and Walsh’s character Naomi replies “No one’s saying you don’t! I don’t want to cover up women, I want to have sexy armor for all.” To which the uncomprehending passers-by repeat “We like looking at pretty women.”

Oh, and extra credit for the slash-fic reference here. (Note: Hmm… I wonder if slash fiction, which can be barkingly pornographic, continually flies under the bogus Rules of Desire is because even though both authors and readers are overwhelmingly female nearly all the the sex in slash fiction is between male characters.)

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