[I’m just a bit under the (spring-like) weather, decompressing from a dynamic winter quarter, and catching up with my family. And under those circumstances I thought I’d indulge one of my non-sexual interests: inventing witless, substance-free, but internally consistent conspiracy theories. Warning: This post is almost exclusively about current American Politics and couched in the formal language of American-style conspiracy theorizing. That said… —fl]

The completely sensible, level-headed Kevin Drum of the wonderful The Washington Monthly creates a great opportunity by complaining about a curmudgenly post by Matthew Yglesias...

Hillary’s chances are slim and maybe it’s time to withdraw. But how do we hop from there to an out-of-the-blue factual assertion that Hillary would just as soon see Obama lose in November? That’s crazy. There’s just no evidence that anyone in the Clinton campaign actually thinks this way. It’s like the 90s all over again and it’s driving me nuts.

Drum said it here.

Amateurs I tell ya! If someone really just wanted to enjoy a nice fat conspiracy theory they’d knit together a nice scenario where Senator Clinton, seeing the writing on the wall, continues to undercut Senator Obama on issues, especially, of foreign policy inexperience, skin color, class, and religion right up till… Senator McCain nominates her to be his running mate in a “maverick” twist on last cycle’s Kerry -> McCain “unity” story. [**]

Such a move would thrill: journalists, disappointed Bloomberg “centerist party” backers, embarrassed-to-admit-it racists, neo-conservatives of the Joe Lieberman stripe, paleo-feminists, immigration-reform folks, the Clintons, and, of course, the Clinton’s pollster Mark Penn.

- Currently marginalized “Centerists” would get their dream ticket.

- Uncomfortable “Bradley-effect” Democratics would be relieved to have a reason not to vote for a person of color.

- Joe Leiberman / Jamie Kirchick types would obviously prefer someone who lacks foreign-policy self-confidence and therefore acts excessively hawkish in a position of influence instead of someone confident enough to… eww!... consider diplomacy.

- Ferarro-style paleo-feminists (though not younger, politically progressive feminists) would prefer another chance at a-woman-any-woman in the #2 spot over no chance at all.

- A number of immigration reform folks evidently hope (as Mickey Kaus and other opponents fear) that a combination of McCain and Democrats in the House and Senate probably offers the best policy outcome.

- The Clintons would be thrilled, of course since not only could they have almost free, Cheney-style reign in the power vacuum left by McCain’s clueless indifference to domestic policy, but in actuarial terms chances would be very good that she’d ascend to the Oval Office sometime before 2012.

- Oh yeah, and finally Mark Penn would be thrilled because his billing and employee oversight would be streamlined. So see? Plenty of ammunition for conspiracists!

That’s not to say Clinton is up to any such thing but it is to say that if Yglesias is just spinning conspiracies for the fun of it he’s not putting very much effort into it.

[** Nevermind that votes gained from the proposed new coalition probably wouldn’t offset those lost by the hard-core Reds. Why hold this conspiracy to any higher standards than any other? —fl]