Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

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Sexual “awakenings.” Ok, so inside the dominant paradigm it’s almost a foregone conclusion that women will just go lumping along through life, pressing wildflowers and talking about her feelings, and maybe vaguely dreaming of the day their prince will come… until someone, generally a man, comes along and “awakens” her sexuality.

Things are bound to have changed by now but at least back in my youth such “awakenings” were a staple of the earthier romance novels. Often a good bodice had to be sacrificed, often accompanied by a solid “how dare you” and a couple of furious slaps… that are quickly followed, one way or another, in more detail or less, by “getting it.” Eternal gratitude, plus exquisite china patterns, followed.

But gee, Ms. Inconspicuous of The Seduction of Infidelity says it’s not that simple

Some women find themselves “awakened” to their sexuality—going through life on a low-libido kind of keel, only to experience a sort of sexual renaissance later in life.

Others remain on the same level forever—either low, average or high. As long as I can remember, I’ve been a sexual being in some way, shape or form

Details here.

So… predictable figleaf pattern here would be for me to wax all poetic or wroth or something about women and the “no-sex” class, but I’m going to ask instead where the notion comes from that, as members of the sex class, men just automatically come activated right out of the box.

I ask because while I don’t remember a specific “oh yeah, that was it” moment I have a couple of other, very distinct ones including an invitation when I was six from a girl around my age who coaxed me to explore behind an old building in our neighborhood. Another was the not-quite-innocent-but-close realization that if the women’s swimsuits in the Sears catalog said “pull up briefs” it implied they could also be pulled down. And another moment, in my early twenties when a partner said “if you keep kissing me like that you can have me,” and again in thirties, when a partner put my arms to my sides and said “I’m doing this.”

So… thing is I couldn’t pick just one of those… or one of the other “awakenings” that kept springing to mind while I was getting supper ready. And I couldn’t pick one because, really, I’m pretty sure even the earliest ones I can remember aren’t the awakening, nor do I think the first one was probably much of a big deal.

But here’s the thing: each one of those things wasn’t so much an awakening as a reawakening. A new window opening letting in more light, a new door opening to a corridor of discovery. Sometimes I found them myself, other times I was shown.

Feel free to call my bluff on my next assertion but… I’m guessing that to the extent someone’s sexuality gets “awakened” it’s probably an experience similar to mine, and not so much like the fabled “Oh Captain Kirk, what is this thing your people call ‘sex?’” moment.

Of course I really am inviting you to call my bluff. I just saw that snippet from Ms I., and thought it sounded familiar, and thought I ought to ask. So. Opinions? Did you have a moment where you’ve felt “awakened?” Was it a one-time deal or was it for you, as it was for me, more of a series of reawakenings?