sexual abuse

Food for Thought: Jason Reitman's 2004 Short Film "Consent"

Fri, 2011-12-30 12:04

So I've been thinking a lot (a lot) about issues of consent, of sexual abuse, of "gray areas," of stereotypes and assumptions, and, especially, about accountability. Last summer, here on this blog, at No Seriously, What About Teh Menz, and in various comment threads around the intertubes, I started digging deeper into what I saw as just one or two incidents of violent sexual assault I experienced as a child -- one at age four at the hands of a ~12-year-old neighbor girl, one around age 14 at the hands of a ~17-year-old neighborhood bully.

The more I've been digging into it the more I've come to realize that, you know, I grew up in a culture that was pretty rife with sexual abuse -- enough so that I only really registered the above-mentioned incidents. But the kid who was the closest thing to a best friend in elementary school? Duh, let's see, he and his sister were foster kids who's father taught them all about "corn-holing" and "fuck-rubbers?" Gee, only this summer did it occur to me to wonder why they were foster kids? The core of the new-to-town teens I hung out with in late high-school and after I dropped out but before I left home? The variously emancipated and/or runaway boys and girls who at times seemed voraciously sexual(ized) but spoke in fluent 70's-era "sexual liberation?" The ones who's attitudes and behaviors deeply influenced much of my own early sexual aspirations? It only recently occurred to me that a contemporary assessment would be that they'd been groomed to the nines both by adult influences. And speaking of grooming and sexual abuse, how about the handful of distinctly predatory adult "youth counselors" (inside a much larger group of entirely decent, appropriate ones) who advocated boundary-crossing in ways that, while not necessarily unsound advice overall, nevertheless advanced their own "hands on" agendas with various "promising young people?"

Let's not even talk about the barkingly predatory "pre-date-rape" alcohol, cocaine, and Quaalude drenched college music bar culture I lived and worked in where it seemed at the time to be perfectly "cool" for more experienced bar patrons and bartenders to take over-intoxicated young men and women home to "crash." Where what this year would be called morning-after gaslighting was considered just helping the erstwhile partner get "perspective."

And all that's got me wondering where have those early influences left me!?!?! What else has been done to me? What else have I let happen? What else have I done in all earnestness? What impact have I had on others?

It's been bugging me a lot. Sort of a hard, fast replay of the old Will Rogers line, which I cite frequently, that "it's not what you don't know that'll hurt you, it's what you know that just ain't so."

Anyway, while I could launch into how my latest runaway train of thought about consent and assumptions has been accelerated by Clarisse Thorn's controversial but excellent exploration of forgiveness vs. accountability in On Change and Accountability, or how it was set rolling by Rachel Hills' Best of 2010: “But women don’t rape!”: sexual pressure, rejection and the male sex drive discourse, and how at the moment I'm feeling a bit like the only people one should really trust in sexual situations are the meticulous negotiation fetishists in the kink community (for instance see item #4 in Andrea Zanin's Expectations of Dominance: Picking Through the Tangle.) But I'm still not feeling completely collected about it, and besides, at the moment I'm feeling all Maslow's hammer about unstated assumptions that can interfere unspoken and even verbal consent... and so at this point any conclusions I draw are likely to be, um, over the top.

So instead I'd like to point out this cute little 2004 video short Jason Reitman and his then-partner Michele Lee called "Consent." It's not perfect (the text "romance deserves better than this" at the end of the credits is a little ambiguous) but it nicely captures how little we're able to communicate with simple yeses, nos, and you-want-tos.

YouTube link via Caitlin.

"Wait Till They're 18 or Older" Is Perfectly Sound Advice For Adults Who Are Tempted to Offer Teens "Hands-On" Sex-Ed Help

Mon, 2011-05-16 16:03

Carlin Ross, writing about the recent "hummer mom" Christine Hubbs' statutory rape case says that setting bail at $4 million seems a little excessive.  I agree.  On the other hand she also says

I've always thought that the older women in a community should teach the young boys/men about sex.  They could learn how to stimulate a woman's body, how to practice safe sex, and come control from a woman with sexual experience.

Her husband is sticking by her side and she has three children.  Tacky - yes.  Predator - I don't think so.

Source: Dodson and Ross

While I happen to enjoy reading Carlin Ross quite a bit I couldn't disagree more, either on the older-instructor point or the not-a-predator one.

On the older-instructor front I actually really, really think older women (and men) in a community should leave their children enough space to develop their own sexual identities and/or skills with their peers in a... well... not quite supervised environment but in a comprehensively informed one.

I mean, yes, it's all well and good to brass on about "snot-nosed youths" defiling girls their age and how it would be better for older men to "beak them in gently," just as it's all well and good to suggest older women do likewise for boys. But really it's probably a better idea to make sure kids develop real peer authority with each other such that neither one is bringing "outside" expertise to their experimentation.

Because, seriously, you don't hear that sort of thing about gay boys needing to be "broken in" in order to work stuff out, nor for girls with other girls. Somehow they figure it out -- even really complex activities -- either on their own or with remarkably small amounts of reading material related to technique.

Once they turn 18 or a developmentally more appropriate 21, I think it's fine for older men or women to offer younger ones an opportunity to refine their techniques. But before roughly adulthood a lot of sexual negotiation and exploration winds up tied with social, identity, and even personality development. Having adults swoop in for "coaching" sessions might be, um, refreshing for the adults, and even educational for the kids, but (as if often the case for a lot of people in retrospect) it's also an opportunity for adults to help "lock in" their momentary partner's sexualities before they've settled. Again, once they've settled -- and that's most often substantially complete between 18 and 21, then again, adult advice would be taken as advice and not formation. And by that age inexperienced adults are still able to negotiate with other adults as effective peers.

On the sexual-predator front no matter what I strongly don't believe in those cases that it would be necessary to offer Xboxes or flat screen TVs to close the deal, as  Because at that point it really would be a deal instead of a sexual exchange.  If you have to groom, intimidate, or otherwise inveigle a 14-year-old of any age into your bed (or in this case to inveigle yourself into theirs) UR Doin' It Wrong.

---

Incidentally I'd just like to add a quote from one of Ross's commenters, Heather J

[M]y husband was raped by an older woman who had children his age and older. He couldn't say no because she had the power. How can a male be raped you might ask? Oh, believe me, they can. We're suffering the consequences now with me being a take charge, not afraid to get what I want sort of woman in the bedroom and him reverting back to how she was with him. Didn't bother him until his father recently died and it's bringing up lots of issues. Adults need to stay away from kids sexually... all adults... all the time.

That seems about right.  It doesn't matter that boys are supposed to be "ready all the time," nor that they're supposed to be able to "take the lead" with sex partners their own age.  No more so than girls with a good, comprehensive sex education are at an orgasmic "disadvantage" to boys as long as their authority and agency is recognized and backed up to be the equal of boys who are their peers.  In fact, arguments of the form "you'll need to know" or "I can help you with... in a way [your peers] couldn't possibly" are actually pretty effective forms of coercion when employed in a culture where boys are expected to "know" and girls are expected to be left wanting.

Judith Levine on Gendered Reactions to TSA Voyeurism vs. Groping Screening Changes

Thu, 2010-12-02 20:55

Judith Levine, Writing of The American Prospect explores largely overlooked gender issues the recent TSA look-vs-touch dilemma and, by implication, the recent initiative to insist on the intrusive groping option over the intrusive voyeurism option TSA prefers.  She says that...

As a woman, I'm used to being looked at; I'm socialized to it, even turned on by it. In fact, now that I'm over 50, I admit to a certain nostalgia for the sucking noises that accompanied my every stroll down the sidewalks of New York, lo these many years ago. The advances of feminism and queer liberation notwithstanding, the feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey is still right: The gaze is masculine, the object of the gaze, feminine.

The body-scanning machine makes me slightly squeamish, but the thought of a stranger's hand exploring my nonconsenting vagina evokes downright revulsion, drawing up associations of creepy uncles, subway perverts, and worse. The perpetrator of sexual violence is almost always a man, and his victim is almost always a woman -- or a man perceived to be "womanly."

Source: The American Prospect

And of course now that she mentions it of course it makes sense.  You don't have to appreciate the way gender is constructed to appreciate that it's constructed that way.  Levine brings that particular point home just a bit further down in her post.

Watch the now-famous "Don't touch my junk" video, and you will witness a man outraged at the violation not just of his privacy but, more passionately, of his masculinity. After all, masculinity implies sexual privacy -- the privilege of moving through life unmolested. Or unnoticed. The most powerful, and to men, mostly invisible, sexual privilege of masculinity is the ability to remain unaware of oneself as a body. When the body is simply a vehicle in which to be a person, having that body seen or touched can be a neutral experience. It's far more likely that men can submit to the screenings, whether by machine or by hand, with ease.

(CoughTwo Rules of Desire #2cough)

Men might occasionally lament that it's inconceivable that they might be physically desired, but that in no way diminishes the intolerability of such a prospect. As Levine says, if, like most men, you have no conception of such corporeal scrutiny it won't occur to you that others might notice and possibly deeply envy the luxury of that oblivion.

One last point Levine makes is that very often, especially with men, the outrage expressed isn't about what happens to them. Instead it's projected outrage that such treatment might befall those who are deemed "weaker." Often it's the weakness of women and children that fuel the outrage even though a) on average women and children are just as tough and resilient as men and b) on average men are no tougher nor more resilient than women or children. (It's not that others might not in fact need support, it's that when we're privileged we sometimes project our insecurity on others. Which is a nifty way to preserve our sense of self-esteem without confronting the fact that we actually tend to want, need, and/or possibly deserve the same treatment we demand for others.)

It's a good post.  I stand by my earlier posts on the subject of TSA screening but since I began my own first post on the kerfuffle by deprecating my own discomfort it would have helped me if I'd read this first.

Three Words Stop "Private Security" Firm Takeovers of Airport Security:" Jamie Leigh Jones

Fri, 2010-11-26 09:08

Speaking of privatizing airport security, it's important to remember that private security firms behind the push are already have far too much genital-groping expertise.

One wonders if the contractor in question would try to write off their legal and lobbying expenses in the Jamie Leigh Jones case as service-development expenses?

It's stories like hers that make it seem like attempts to privatize TSA would be an uphill push, even for the current crop of right-wing crony-capitalists.

Could Cynical TSA Privatization Ploy Finally Bring Left and Right Together on Privacy Rights?

Fri, 2010-11-26 08:53

Via Kaili Joy Gray

Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle says that whereas we’ve been extraordinarily docile about having both our personal data appropriated by enterprises both private (Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerburg) and public (NSA wiretaps, strong-arming ISPs and phone companies for call data) we’ve finally started to collectively call bullshit when eyes and hands start reaching into our pants.

Nothing, apparently, sets us off more than some unhappy TSA worker — an increasingly unenviable job, you gotta admit — yanking you out of line and giving you the delightful option of getting your entire body X-rayed from ass to nipple, or being groped all over in case you might be carrying something explosive in your pants.

Is that not amazing, by the way? That a solitary “Christmas underwear bomber” has now changed the complexion of the entire country and inconvenienced tens of millions with a single failed attempt? Yes, all this groping is because of one guy, and he’s not even Justin Bieber. How incredible is that? Who says an individual can’t make a difference? Who says the terrorists haven’t already won?

Source: San Francisco Chronicle

I’m still feeling even more gloomy about this — despite long, long standing privacy concerns among progressives, and the fact that “nude” x-ray backscatter and 152 millimeter-wave machines have been around since at least last summer (my family and I went through one in Boston last August) the issue’s sudden “discovery” by conservative bellwether Matt Drudge and its subsequent liftoff in the media has felt a little too coordinated. (Evidently there’s a clause in the authorization bill that begins allowing both privatization and unionization of TSA beginning… oh… sometime this month.)

Still, as apologists say about venal, corrupt, and cynically hypocritical televangelists, “light will shine through any window.” The coordination of criticism really might have risen out of an initiative to privatize TSA* the issues themselves have been both well-known and bitterly criticized for years. If it takes a marketing ploy to finally get the conversation moving then… hey, maybe so. (I don’t think the privatization thing is going to get a lot of traction. Certainly not from the groping story.)

* Remember, it’s not a crime if you’re imprisoned in a shipping container by a private security firm after its employees have drugged and sexually attacked you so how could it possibly be a privacy invasion if a private security firm merely squeezes your genitals till you flinch?

When it Comes to Who Thinks They Have a Right to Fondle Your Privates, Privatization Wouldn't Equal Progress

Fri, 2010-11-19 13:29

Tom Toles, Washington Post - Cached as a bandwidth-conserving courtesy
Cartoon by Tom Toles of the Washington Post, via Ezra Klein.

Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo says

Watching cable TV this morning it seems like the new idea is that this would all be better if private sector workers rather than government employees were inspecting Americans’ crotches, boobs, etc.

Source: Talking Points Memo

This is my biggest beef with the big-L Libertarian notion that it’s only intrudes on your privacy, encroaches on your freedom, engages in stupid coercive security theater, discriminates against you, wastes your dollars, or generally treats you like a manipulable object instead of an autonomous human being if government does it. Insurance companies, mid-level managers, rent-a-cops and their even more bellicose Blackwater-style mercenary cousins, “intellectual property” enforcement groups, cable companies, and video-rental late-fee penalties may be private but they’re no less oppressive. Letting Xe Services LLC take over “services” rendered by TSA would not improve the average air traveler’s experience.

XKCD on How To React to Involuntary Porn vs. Groping in Airport Security Theater

Tue, 2010-11-16 12:40

Don't need any, thanks. I have a backscattering fetish. (Cached from XKCD)><br />
<em style=Cartoon “Anxiety” by Randall Munroe of XKCD. Used under a Creative Commons license.

In comments to my previous post about TSA’s spanky new groping policy for those who refuse to pose for their backscattered nude photos Holly of The Pervocracy, who’s so brilliant she should have her own blog (oh wait!), said

The part that really scares me is that it’s fairly clear the pat-down has been made more invasive not so it’s more effective, but so it’ll serve as a deterrent to keep people from opting out. It’s a creepily sexualized retaliation for being disobedient, not an actual security measure in itself.

And in comments Sungold of Kittywampus (who’s been all over this story) added

Yes, Holly is exactly right. If the “enhanced” pat-downs are so essential, why weren’t they implemented in January, right after the Underpants Bomber incident, instead of waiting until now, when many airports have the strip-search scanners? They’re being used to bludgeon people.

This should not be a left-right issue, but so far it’s gotten the most coverage among libertarian and right-wing media. The left is only beginning to stir. In the feminist blogosphere, I don’t know of anyone besides Melissa McEwan and me who have called much attention to it – which is why I’ve been blogging up a storm about it.

...

Those of us who care about bodily autonomy and social justice face a lot of intractable issues. We are not, for instance, going to stop sexual violence. But we can stand up and protest a brand-new government policy that mandates searches that feel to many of their recipients like sexual assault. A policy that is centrally decreed can also be withdrawn in a single stroke. If people refuse to be sheeple, we might have a chance to win here.

Another commenter, Ms. Inconspicuous (who I wish still had a blog) recounts her own recent experience where the prospect of groping was expressly raised as a reason for complying with radiation-based porn.

I just went through the new body scanners a few days ago.

It was absolutely and fundamentally clear that TSA agents were using full pat-downs as an intimidation tactic to dissuade you from trying to opt out of going through the scanners.

“If you refuse to go through the scanners, be aware that you will be subjected to a more thorough full-body search and potentially lenghty delays.”

Ms.I adds, relevantly, that

HOWEVER—were I a survivor of sexual assault and I knew that my body image were being projected to a stranger I would feel absolutely violated and vulnerable. And a thorough pat-down is a good answer? No. It’s not.

But it’s by an agent of the same gender! (Baffling how even TSA security measures assume that all sexual assault and abuse takes place between people of opposite genders… and that no one could possibly feel threatened or assaulted by a person of the same gender. Gimme a freakin’ break.)

And I’ll just close with what I said over at BoingBoing after finding the relevant image for my previous post. It’s also why, incidentally, I chose the… intrusive XKCD comic to illustrate this post.

What’s sickening, of course, is it’s not about perversion — they’re probably as humiliated to do it as we are to receive it. What’s sickening is that they do it anyway. Same thing and maybe worse when they do it to little kids.

I’m pretty confident that pretty much every last floor member of the TSA would really rather not be fondling passenger penises and vulvas, with or without rubber gloves, and with or without consent. In fact I’m pretty confident that for all the snarking and invective we’re leveling at them the very, very last thing any of them wants if for passengers to get the idea that either TSA or the passengers should find the procedures either sexually abusive or erotic. Which is why the XKCD notion of a culture hacker calculatedly selling Viagra to prospective passengers is excellent resistance.

Do I think people really should take Viagra and present their clothed erections to TSA staffers? No, absolutely not. (Because just as one can’t assume passengers are free of triggerable sexual trauma you can’t make those assumptions about all TSA staff either.) Instead what’s effective is the accusation of sexualized conduct.

Nor am I suggesting all this because a) I’m a sex blogger or b) because I’d prefer less security theater (shoes, underpants) and more actual, less-intrusive security. Instead I’m suggesting it because…

Y’know? Just because TSA doesn’t want adults or children to associate blue-gloved hands in their groins as sexual… And just as TSA doesn’t want adults or children to associate backscatter imaging as voyeurism or as adult and child pornography… and just as TSA agents themselves would probably rather think of anything else on earth besides sex when they’re manipulating the folds of a small child’s testicles or vulva or hefting a pregnant woman’s full breasts, the fact of the matter is they have no fucking say over how the recipient is going to interpret that. M’Kay?

The Other Shoe Drops: Huffington Post on Coverups of Sexual Abuse of Women and Girls in the Catholic Church

Sun, 2010-04-11 21:17

The other day I mentioned my passionate conviction that if there was anything to them (besides being one more front for bashing feminism) then so-called Men’s Rights groups should be taking the lead in calling for investigation, prosecution, exposition, and shaming of the systematic abuse of boys by priests in the Catholic church.

In that post I briefly mentioned that evidence of abuse of women and girls might turn up as well. Sounds like that other shoe has now dropped — on my non-figleaf Facebook account I found the following link from my progressive but also sensibly-religious sister-in-law.

Angela Bonavoglia: The Catholic Church: Abusing, Endangering, And Intimidating Women

It was indeed outrageous that Reverend Raniero Cantalamessa, in his Good Friday homily at St. Peter’s Basilica, with Pope Benedict in eyeshot, compared the public denunciation of the Catholic Church hierarchy for harboring child molesting priests to the homicidal viciousness of anti-Semitism.

But there was another reason to be troubled by that homily: Cantalamessa also talked about the need to end violence against women, which is crucial, but he did so without any acknowledgment of the Church’s own culpability in the abuse, endangerment, and intimidation of women.

Cantalamessa talked about the need to end violence against women, which is crucial, but he did so without any acknowledgment of the Church’s own culpability in the abuse, endangerment, and intimidation of women.

Source: Huffington Post

Bonavoglia goes on to point out that in addition to what amounted to casual disregard for female victims as well as male ones, these are the same people who absolutely condemn birth control, abortion, and use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

If my sister-in-law is ticked off enough to post about this, publicly, on Facebook, then resentment and revulsion has got to be running pretty deep in the rank and file

Why the Standard "Women In Prisons" Story Needs a New Script

Tue, 2010-03-02 10:46

Bridget Crawford of Feminist Law Professors expresses uncharacteristic suprise at findings about women in a recent report on sexual abuse in the criminal justice system.

The statistics are staggering.  Kaiser and Sannow explain the importance and implication of the studies, as well as their deficiencies and strengths.  In describing one of the findings of the Bureau of Justice Statistics report (available here) the authors note:

Nearly 62 percent of all reported incidents of staff sexual misconduct involved female staff and male inmates. Female staff were involved in 48 percent of staff-on-inmate abuse in which the inmates were unwilling participants. The rates at which female staff seem to abuse male inmates, in jails and in juvenile detention, clearly warrant further study. Of the women in jail, 3.7 percent reported inmate-on-inmate sexual abuse; 1.3 percent of men did. Does this mean that women are more likely to abuse each other behind bars than men, or that they’re more willing to admit abuse? We don’t know—but if they’re simply more willing to admit abuse, then the BJS findings on men may have to be multiplied dramatically.

I was astounded at the rate of reported sexual abuse of male inmates by female staff members.  It illustrates that in some circumstances, women use sexual violence as a form of domination and power over men in a way that is not so different from what men do to women.  The authors point out that it is difficult to know why female inmates are more likely than their male counterparts to be sexually abused by another inmate of the same sex.  It may be that women are more abusive of each other than men are. 

She said it here.

I’m not at all sure why anyone should be surprised. Here are three reasons that skip off the top of my head:

1) Sexual abuse and sexual assault are excitations of power, not of sex… or gender. Yes, historically we see far, far more sexual abuse and assault by men but I believe historically power has been also see far, far more likely to accrue to men. As we make progress towards parity of power it’s inevitable that we’re going to see more parity in its abuse.

2) The standard gender assumptions about women as vaguely and passively “sugar and spice and everything nice” make the standard gendered scripts for behavior for women in dominant, potentially sexual situations, let alone scripts for men in sexually dominated-by-women ones, are inadequate. Both narrative and scripting need to adjust to the reality of women as autonomous human beings who’s moral compasses are neither more nor less flawed than anyone else’s. (I ought to add that because we do have a lot of scripting about men and abuse of sexual power there may also be better developed policies for managing or deterring it.)

3) Both of the bogus Two Rules of Desire make it more difficult to confront or transcend our (mis)understanding of sexual (mis)use of power. When society believes to its core that it’s not only intolerable and inconceivable for women to manifest sexual desire, and equally intolerable and inconceivable for men to be sexually desired, you’re just going to find women poorly prepared to forgo opportunities to exploit sexual vulnerability, you’re going to find men, and women, poorly prepared to resist such exploitation, and you’re going to find social and prison policies ill equipped to police it.

So. You wanna know just how entrenched our gender narratives about sexual abuse really are? All this seems to be seriously old news, at least among rape-crisis community professionals. I’ve mentioned several times in this blog an interview I had back in the very early 1980s with the director of a rape-relief and domestic violence shelter. I mentioned my ignorant impression that men can’t be raped, not by women, and she said no, that it was actually relatively common. The common denominator, she told me nearly 30 years ago, was that perpetrators were very likely to have custodial power over their smaller (i.e. children), or weaker (i.e. elderly, disabled) victims. Given that prisoners, and particularly juvenile ones, are in custodial power and there should be no surprise nor shock at all that they would be just as subject to sexual abuse by women as by men.

That it wouldn’t have soaked in to general awareness even 30 years after I first heard about it is the only really shocking thing about the whole story.

Why, Even If Vice Is Now Nice, Incest is Still Not Best

Mon, 2008-12-08 16:52

Lynn Gazis-Sax of Noli Irritare Leones, who’s been on a bit of a roll examining Medieval and earlier theological attitudes towards homosexuality, brings up as an aside early theological attitudes about incest.

The live journal Thinking Out Loud reviews gay Catholic academic Mark Jordan’s The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology. It’s an interesting survey of medieval reasoning about sex, which sometimes differs from modern reasoning in non-obvious ways.

arguing that a priest who has sex with someone he is hearing confessions from is a form of incest—the priest being spiritual father—is much more about very medieval concerns about incest, defined extremely broadly

(I note, here, that incest has been defined to include a transgression that we’d now describe as professional sexual exploitation.)

The main body of her post, titled “Are we all sodomites now?” is pretty interesting too. Read the whole thing here.

This is actually a pretty cool point. Various apologists for incest point out, not at all incorrectly, that most of the horror stories about offspring with hemophilia and other recessive-gene diseases are actually fairly weak. (Tending as they do towards one widely-distributed and widely known royal family and large numbers of conveniently “othered” sub-groups like “gee-we-want-the-coal-under-their-property hillbillies.) And a heck of a lot of pre-metropolitan social organizations consist of very isolated groups where marriage as close as cousins was pretty inevitable**. And besides now there’s birth control, right?

Fine. Points taken. But!

As Lynn hints, if theologians considered sex between priest and parishioner incest then inbreeding is not what the prohibition was all about in the first place. Instead it was about improper abuse of, and I’m sure a little further research would support, improper concentration of power.

Slight digression: Recall, as various historians of relationships have noted (my go-to reference being Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz), the real tradition of “traditional marriage” wasn’t romance, or even individual preference, but economic arrangements between (politically significant) families. And while I can’t document this I’m guessing that a little research would show that political and economic considerations rather than actual consanguinity was behind, say, the Church’s otherwise incomprehensible decisions to prohibit an individual’s marriage to a 4th cousin in favor of… a marriage to a 3rd cousin.

It also makes significant the biologically ridiculous prohibitions on marriages between cousins in law who (especially if everyone’s keeping track) are almost by-definition not related either by blood or genetics.

I’m not given to approving the policies of ecclesiastical lawyers but in this case I think they got it right, because the real but relatively*** minor problems of possible inbreeding really aren’t as significant as the equally real but considerably bigger problems of power imbalances in such relationships.

For this reason all the arguments about the biological irrelevance of incest, no matter how sophisticated, fall flat: what’s usually objectionable about incest isn’t about inherited genes, it’s about inherent power****.

[And we’re not just talking about the middle ages here. A friend I used to work with moved out of her 20th-Century northern Minnesota town, she said, because she and everyone else in her town knew by third grade who she was going to have to marry. In a long-established, very isolated town of less than three hundred the choices were very limited unless you wanted to a) marry a first or second cousin or b) marry someone else, thus forcing their designated partner to marry a first or second cousin. Oh, or c) move away. She said she knew “her” forced pick was a big doodie-head and so before age 8 she had resigned herself to option C. —fl]

[*** No pun intended. —fl]

[****
This would be true, by the way, whether or not that was the literal liturgical reasoning behind the policies Lynn touched on in the quoted piece. Although, based on identification of incest between priest and parishioner as strongly overlapping what we’d call sexual harassment or exploitation of position, I’m pretty sure that really was the original line of thought. —fl]

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