Photo by Flickr user stephentrepreneur. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Olvlzl of Echidne of the Snakes makes such a great point about the whole vampire fetish

The idea of a man slipping into a woman’s bed room at night and vampirizing her as romance might be less sick than the romanticizing rape only due to the fact that vampires don’t exist. At least I hope there aren’t kids trying out biting people in the neck as a lifestyle choice, now that Hollywood is presenting the blood sucker as a white bread teen idol. I just don’t get it. But then, I never got The Leader of the Pack either. I haven’t done a study of it, but I’ll bet that female vampires preying on males are not generally portrayed as sympathetic, romantic characters. They might be seductive but they the ones I recall are only the more evil for that.

Read the quote in context here.

I hereby nominate Bram Stoker’s original Dracula as the official novel of the “no-sex” class paradigm. I mean, think about it! A charming, inexplicable, and wealthy… but also relentless, carnivorous, and overwhelmed by animal compulsion man sets his sights on an innocent and (by definition in this case) disinclined flower of a girl, mesmerizes her so that she has no idea what her role is, warps and corrupts other men and women in his pursuit of her, and is finally defeated when he’s penetrated by the custodial men of his would-be paramour. Extra bonus features? The female vampires of Dracula’s castle initially want to seduce/consume Jonathan Harker but are frustrated by the male vampire who makes them settle for the blood of an infant or small child he brings them! (Note also that the vampire Lucy, a proper Victorian, intuitively preys only on children.) Oh yeah, and what awaits Mina and befalls Lucy for succumbing is, literarily literally, a fate worse than death!

Interestingly, at the end of the novel when his soul is “released” even the vampire’s expression carries gratitude and relief… before it crumbles to dust. That’s all that foreshadows the vampire’s later incarnations as conflicted seducers — beginning I’m pretty sure, with the soulful Barnabas Collins in the Gothic 60s soap opera Dark Shadows and extending through Anne Rice’s novels, Sting’s Burbon Street, and more recently Buffy, True Blood, and, evidently, now Twilight.

But anyway I’m with Olvlzl — the very different attitudes and fantasies about male vs. female vampires come from the same place.

So while I’m waiting to post this week’s Half-nekkid Thursday entry a little early, I thought I’d complete this week’s TMI-Tuesday questions a little late.

1. What are your 7 favorite tactile things that turn you on? Sex (like oral, or penetrative) cannot be an answer. (Examples: silk, light tickling, etc).

• Um kissing? Oh yeah.
• Curling up like spoons with a partner and she wriggles back against me
• Soft breasts pressing lightly into my back
• The impossibly soft feel of a partner’s bare leg against my hand, just millimeters away from the leg band of her undies
• The heat radiating against the back of my hand at that moment
• The I-can’t-describe-it “zingy” feel… sort of a pulse maybe?... of nipples in the center of the palms of my hands.
• A hand behind me on shoulder, neck, back, ass, or thigh, pulling me closer
• I know this is #8 but I gotta get to it: the total familiar/exotic feel of someone’s waist against my arm when I hug them low and pull them close to me. Can’t explain, maybe, but my whole nervous system says “this is right“ every time it happens.

2. What are your non-genital erogenous zones and what do you like done to them?

• Nipples. They’re non-genital in any event. Mine are sort of hit and miss. Sometimes they’re just more skin on my chest and nothing you can do will light them up. Other times anything from the lightest touch to a pretty intense bite goes straight to my cock.
• Balls. Technically I guess they’re genital but they’re so often neglected I’m putting them in. I’m not at all sure I’d ever want someone to “teabag” me or otherwise take one or both testicles in their mouth. I’ve had two vasectomies and a reversal and there are some vessels in there that are just too… I dunno… short for that. But mmm, if you “spider” them with your fingernails, especially at critical, um, moments? Kazowie that feels nice!
• Mouth. Not just when you kiss me but when I kiss you or you present your favorite parts to them for me to kiss.
• Fingers. Does anyone not like getting their fingers slurped into their partner’s mouth? (For that matter does anyone not love doing that to their partner? I love it — love the kind of creamy look people’s eyes get when I do.)

3. What sounds get you sexually charged?

• Zippers. Oh yeah!
• That little sort of not-exactly-nervous swallow a lot of people, including me, make when they realize things are moving from “I wonder if something sexual is about to happen” to “I wonder what sexually is going to happen.”
• Hearing someone in the distance clearly having sex… and then hearing your partner or companion make that not-exactly-nervous swallow!
• Your partner no longer able to clearly say “more” through lust-thickened breathing
• The moment… instant… of dead silence between short fast panting and long, hard, shuddering sighs.

4. After losing your virginity, what is the longest you¿ve gone without penetrative sex?

Penetrative sex? I think this must be a tough one for some gay women. For me though I think it might have been nearly two years. During my 20s there were definitely a couple of year-long gaps. I think the longest was two.

5. What is your least favorite sexual position?

“Cowgirl.” My cock bends upwards with the best of them but downwards not at all. Bouncing is fine. Hip rolling? Great. Forward and back — which seems to feel best for an awful lot of partners? Oww!

I have mixed feelings about most women-on-top positions for, I think, the same reason a lot of women have mixed feelings about man on top. The angles of penetration often aren’t quite right, usually putting the most pressure where I have the least nerve endings. That’s great, of course, when a partner wants or needs lots of time. Not so hot if, like quite a few partners, they a) get off like a rocket and then b) are done for the evening because they’re counter-stereotypical “one shot wonders” and too sensitive, sleepy, or gosh-look-at-the-time to let me have my turn.

Bonus (as in optional):If you could sexually dominate or submit to 5 people – any 5, currently living or deceased – which 5 would it be?

• A gentleman never tells.
• Although a gentleman might also have… close to five good ideas.
• I think technically I’d rather not be dominated sexually at all. But then I now know a fair number of people who know exactly what they’re doing. Maybe I just haven’t known what I was missing.
• As for being dominant? There are so many ways to be dominant, from just leading at ballroom dancing to turning a partner over one’s knee to… well, let’s just say there are a lot of options. It would depend entirely on one’s partner though since everybody has different likes, dislikes, and, um, needs.